• ARRSE have partnered with Armadillo Merino to bring you an ARRSE exclusive, generous discount offer on their full price range.
    To keep you warm with the best of Merino gear, visit www.armadillomerino.co.uk and use the code: NEWARRSE40 at the checkout to get 40% off!
    This superb deal has been generously offered to us by Armadillo Merino and is valid until midnight on the the 28th of February.

HARRSEard

#1
As requested by Abacus...'Purveyor and Dealer of Fine Second Hand Clothing to Tree-Huggers Everywhere'...

...just make shure you record this in the Register of Members' Interests! :D
 
#2
Its compassionate, hard-working, cynical population of 12 million are rabid consumers, partly through choice and partly because the government tells them to and dissenters tend to vanish from their homes at night.
I also wish to record that I recently met, and had a very pleasant lunch, with a delegation from the 'Human Embryo Experimentation Quango' who wished me to approve their policy of allowing unrestricted experimentation on...amazingly...human embryos. As the pate was particularly fine (although the meat pie was a little...chewy), I acquiesced, and henceforth my industrious scientists will be able to fully explore the secrets of squashy babies.
 
#3
In response to a written question:

Today I shall mostly be wearing Other People's Old Clothes. (Isn't the quarty the funniest guy you've ever met!)

Today I shall also be watching the slugster's region while she is otherwise engaged but shall have to relinquish this task early pm as I shall be otherwise engaged myself.

On my return this Friday, I intend returning to Arrseonia proper where I shall endorse the highest bidder - assuming my own nation survives my absence.
 
#4
My visit on behalf of the House has been extended as I find an interesting situation developing between our Minister for Jock Insertion (The Rt Hon Lairdx MAP) and the denizens of a realm known as The Union of United Republic. I believe that they are unaware of my status as one of The Rt Hon Darth_Doctrinus MAP's minions (I would try close colleague but he is a MOD with the powers of edit after all) and so remain to see where I might aid my close friend and fellow porridge wog:

Latest posts as follows - I have omitted Lairdx's as we are aware of how charming and wonderfully loquacious he can be.

from The Union of United Republic's discussion board said:
from The Community of Democratic civil right

Even if Laridxland is able to become king he will be a horrible one.

You know why? HE consider him self as a higher life form.

He will not care about his people, because he consider people as a slave that should do not more than to serve him.

He consider all those around him is just to serve him.

Well, I got news. A country belong to the people. The king of its nation is the every single men and women that is a part of this community.

They are equal in all sense, nobody out rank any body.

The leader of nation should be elected by the every single masters of this nation.

Only a democratic elected leader have the right to speak on a nation's behalf not a tyran majesty.

Why, can't a tyran majesty speak on a natioin's behalf? Because, a tyran majesty do not speak on the peole's behalf (The true masters of a nation) A democratic elected leader do!!!



from The Armed Republic of Abacania

To my esteemed friend, The Community of Democratic civil right,

tolerance, dear chap, tolerance!

Lairdx I have endorsed you in just that spirit of tolerance. Please use it wisely.

I was in Macbeth's Castle yesterday - now there was an age of proper Kings and Queens



from The United States of Bottom earth

Laridxland, you can not make decision to go to war until your are been elect as delegate.

The final comment gives me an idea. Mr. Speaker, I would be grateful if you would call our friend The Rt Hon Lairdx MAP to the House so that he may express his views amongst friends and so that we may best devise a method by which we could give him the greatest assistance.
 
#5
I have summoned my driver to transport me to this Community as part of a MAP-sponsored Outreach programme... :D

Edited to add: Gosh - what a load of weepy gits! I really hope that Lairdx kicks 'em all out for being snot-covered morons. :D
 
#6
There is no tie bar the arrse tie republic boy
The ARRSEr who rules the 'Fiefdom of a Criminal Mastermind' is hereby notified that the paperwork recommending you for an award (which could possibly be the 'Mmmmmmmm!') has been staffed up the chain and you should hear about it within 6 months.

Adjt - lock this in the safe until we know.

Mod Edit: Sorry Abacus - clicked the wrong button!! Ooooops!
 
#7
Ladies and Gemtlemen we have a new visitor:

2 minutes ago: The Queendom of Lawstudent arrived from The Pacific.
36 minutes ago: The Armed Republic of Abacania arrived from Arrseonia.
41 minutes ago: The Armed Republic of Abacania departed this region for Arrseonia
54 minutes ago: The Holy Empire of ARRSE HQ departed this region for Arrseonia
55 minutes ago: The Holy Empire of ARRSE HQ arrived from Arrseonia.
12 hours ago: The Armed Republic of Orangeboomland arrived from The North Pacific.
13 hours ago: The Disputed Territories of Artillery Dominance arrived from Arrseonia.
13 hours ago: The Kingdom of Lairdxland arrived from Lairdxs_evil_empire.
23 hours ago: The Disputed Territories of Artillery Dominance departed this region for Arrseonia
1 day ago: The Armed Republic of Groundcrew liberation arrived from The South Pacific.
 
#10
Whereas, and in so much as, it having been recorded in committee elsewhere in this Parliament,

The Leader of the House said:
My proposal was deleted by the UN, as previously posted. However, I had no idea that there is an are on the forums where these muppets all sit round sniggering like little schollboys, whinging about those nasty big boys who aren't playing fair.

Go here to see that I got a 'roll eyes', a 'bang head' and a 'confused' for mine - if he was confused, why was he rolling eyes as well? If he didn't understand, why was he banging his head asgainst a wall? Now I'm confused.... :D

Edited to add: The ghastly freak 'Zyxibule' (roll eyes) is the Delegate for 'Zion'. He only has 13 endorsements, and the region has 75 nations. It's a challenge but I want this fcuker taking down!
Mr speaker, I wish to bring this to the attention of the House in this STICKY bit so that we do not forget about it once we have finished with the Russian Mafia in Allied Carpetland.
 
#11
Good call Abacus - with this bl00dy courts-martial on I'm not getting my (ahem ahem) ARRSE time in as much as I should and I'm missing loads of Arrseonia stuff - I blame Dozy for not keeping me looped in.

Anyway, I'd be much obliged if we could keep an eye on this chap for later on...I think it's high time he joins 'Last Castle' in the dustbin of history.
 
#12
The following nations had the highest proportion of citizens designated in UN studies as either "Uneducated" or "Just Plain Dumb".

1. The Republic of U_U_R in Disguise

:lol:
 

Latest Threads