Harrison Ford in The Battle for Fallujah

Discussion in 'The Intelligence Cell' started by FunkyNewBlood, Jan 5, 2005.

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  1. Harrison Ford in The Battle for Fallujah
    Source: Variety December 16, 2004

    Harrison Ford is attached to play one of the key characters in an ensemble drama that marks the first major feature project about the current war in Iraq, reports Variety. Universal-based Double Feature partners Michael Shamberg and Stacey Sher have optioned the upcoming book "No True Glory: The Battle for Fallujah," to be published in May.

    The book was written by Bing West, an ex-Marine and former assistant secretary of defense for international security affairs who is now a foreign correspondent covering the Iraq war. West will write the script with son Owen, a longtime Marine rifleman who left the service to become a trader at Goldman Sachs but returned to fight in Iraq for a year.

    After four Americans were mutilated and hanged in Fallujah, the White House ordered an assault on the insurgent stronghold to be led by Gen. Jim Mattis (to be played by Ford). Marine forces devastated the opposition and were 48 hours away from taking control of Fallujah when the White House abruptly ordered them to stop. The Marines lost 28 soldiers the first time around and added another 50 fatalities after the White House ordered them to go back and finish the job six months later

    I can see it all now.................................... Glorification, flag flapping in the wind...........

    8O Comments please
  2. I feel sick already...

    Which RADA trained British actors are being lined up to play the enemy then?

    Will any mention be made of the shooting up of wedding parties/unarmed demonstrators/Iraqis that looked at Cletus "a bit funny"?
  3. I hope so, that's the best part.
  4. Potential enemy actors:

    Alan Rickman.
    Christoper Lee (is he still alive?).
    Sean Bean (when he's not playing the SAS hero attached to the Spams and showing them how it's done - properly).
    Bob Hoskins (well he was good in Enemy at the Gates).

    ...any more?
  5. We have The British Library to reference our history.
    The yanks just have a large building full of Hollywood DVDs for thiers.

    I actually mentioned some while ago that GWB went to Iraq because he has shares in Hollywood. Oh well.
  6. Ben Kingsley - good as Ghandi but an absolute psycho in Sexy Beast

    David Suchet (the guy who played Poirrot and the (Arab) bad guy in Executive Decision)

    Let's face it, no real Arabs will be playing the bad guys (cos they'll have to be REALLY bad)

    Ben Stiller as the amusing comedy sidekick who gets slotted in the third act.......
  7. You're just jealous because John Wayne wasn't British, you Amish git. :wink:
  8. Jude Law in the flashback scene as El Orens , showing with crystal clarity , how Fallujah is all the Brit's fault.

    The dastardly evil Arab character - Clive Owen, Alan Rickman , Stephen Berkoff or some such

    The immensly popular Major who gets slotted for an act of kindness - Ewan MacGregor.

    The tough old and wise Sgt. Major -Frank Oz

    What is the Spam equivalent of the chirpy cockney character?
  9. jason statham (the transporter, lock stock) as some form of kung fu arab mentalist who will engage in a SLoOoOOoOOw motion fight with a marine (matt damon/josh hartnett etc.) in a hallway. Each of them will have two pistols with seemingly infinate ammo. and both will 'know kung fu'. Film will NOT feature ANY realistic hand to hand fighting (butt in face send teeth flying, remainder of mag. at point blank into face, smashing heads with helmets etc. as that might disturb the premier audience)
    ALSO American ability to fire on full auto all the time and always hit target will compare favourably to Arab ability to fire on full auto all the time and never hit the highest paid/most good looking actor/actress.
    The squad will have one black, one woman, a guy of oriental/hispanic extraction, one guy with a moustache and guy with v v thick glasses who works the radio.
    The streets will be strangely devoid of iraqui civilians. Those we DO see welcome the septics with open arms, and not open jackets exposing suicide vest.
  10. So it's a documentary then :twisted:

    Apparently Mel Gibson has bought up the rights to make a film of the book Bodicea (or Boudicca if you're a Brit). Given his slant towards us how the chuff is he going to make the Brits the baddies in this? I suggest - all British to be played by Yanks, with the exception of old Boudie herself who will be played by Nicole Kidman (even though she probably looked more like Bella Emberg) and all the Romans played by Brits? Hopefully it won't be filmed in Latin/Ancient Iceni.
  11. The part of Zarqawi was made for Jeremy Irons
  12. the comedy relief will come from OMID DJALILI. "The ONLY IRANIAN comedian in the world".

    He will get a recall when george Dubya invades Iran!![/img]
  13. Cameos for S Hussein and Asama Bin Everywhere.

    Love interest Salma Hayek :twisted: :twisted:
  14. Ricky Glover to play Moqtada al Sadr

  15. Comedy Ali could be played by Jim Bowen (its all in the NHS glasses). "Ohh the Ameicans are close, but look at what they could of had....."

    Micheal Jackson should be a medic, moonwalking his ass across some dusty road to ask a fallen comrade "Do you want a lolly after i've patched you up little man?" Hey, he's got to get out of a prison sentence some way or another.

    Moqtada Al Sadr should be played by Geri Halliwell as they both lie about their age, have facial hair and have got nice boobs. He has, trust me, im a pervert and he is fat.

    Macauley Kulkin (probably spelt that wrong but dont care - think home alone) can be an extra who only has one line in the movie then gets blown away. The only person that cares would be Mr Jackson - whos he going to buck weed now, sorry, bunk with now?

    The Brits wont get a mention, as usual, or the amount of Burger Kings, Subway or Dunkin Doughnut trailers that are popping up like syphilis in Sierra Leone.

    God bless America.