Harmless Masturbation or Sex starved Wankin? You decide....

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Moon_Monkey_Spunk, May 14, 2006.

?
  1. Yes

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  2. No

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  3. Thankyou, I am chocking the chicken just reading this.

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  1. My God,
    I just come back from a Tom Tit that turned into a Tommy Tank, a common everyday occurrence I believe? It’s the way the Tommy tank started that has freaked me out. I enjoy reading while my rectum starts to work but today I was caught short with decent material, the only thing at hand was my birds Tampax instruction leaflet (left out on the cabinet for some reason?)
    Have you ever read one? Instant bone material! It comes with diagrams of how to fit one and advice on the best positions, line one starts with this;
    Before you start: Relax and take your time, wash your hands and find a position most suitable to you, sit on the toilet seat with knees wide apart, or squat slightly with knees bent and far apart, OR stand with one leg on the toilet seat.
    Well that was me well into the choking chicken routine, imagining all the sexy girls I know in the Regt doing this every month!
    Is this wrong?.......
     
  2. Not wrong at all M-M-S. Good, normal behaviour. Well done.
     
  3. I prefer to thing of them pulling their jam rags back out again.

    mmmmm.

    Bloody.
     
  4. Its making me think of what could be the most weirdest thing that Squaddies have thought about during the vinegar stroke? This was probably mine.
     
  5. And if you save it, you can make a nice cup of tea with it later.
     
  6. Vampire Teabags.
     
  7. [​IMG]
    Mmmm, A positive.
     
  8. Just throw one out in the shower with the water on hot......as the said stroke approaches turn the hot off and the cold on, apparently gives you a right spine tingler!!
     
  9. moon you fcukin devo............ :wink:
     
  10. Now just think of your mum or sister doing it, that should put you off...
     
  11. Unless you're MDN...
     
  12. Thats sounds good but I bet it takes practice, wouldn't want to turn the cold off and get 3rd degree burns on me todger! dpm u sound like a fellow devo!!
     
  13. Had a involuntary experience along these lines... was happily throwing myself around in the shower, my mrs uses the sink in the kitchen, water goes redders and I burn my arrse, almost breaking my pan-handle on the tiles! Had to cut myself off early without finishing the task - truly a disappointing experience.
     
  14. A boner is always a bonus in my book.