Harassment - what to do?

#1
I don't want to disclose too many details on here (for obvious reasons,) but if me and my hubby go to the police about someone who's been harassing us on and off for years, what will happen?

Hubby and this person (let's call her Susie McDoingmyheadin) are both in the army (same regt).

If we get the police involved will it cause problems for her/my OH at work?

Don't care if it causes her problems seeing as she's never given 2 sh@t's about what she's doing to us. She always comes up smelling of roses anyway, regardless of whatever she does. Even her punishment posting never materialised, for some reason.

I don't know if the police will do anything, anyway, but we're fed-up of this cr%p and don't know what else to do.

Ignoring the harasser does nothing either; they keep popping up like a bad smell. It's not like they're constantly bothering us as they don't do anything for months, then we hear from them again. But, they just won't f!*k off and I don't get why. Well, I do get why - they just can't let go for some unknown reason.

Cheers for any help/advice/insight.
 
#2
Dont know about RMP, but civpol will warn them (depending on what form the harassment's taken) if they continue after a warning, they get nicked
 
#3
Harssment is defined in UK law as being
a course of conduct; which amounts to harassment of another; which the defendant knows, or ought to know amounts to harassment of another.
Harassment is not defined in the Act, except that it includes causing the person alarm or distress

Might be worth having a look at this link: LINKY

My advice is to talk to the police, it will cost you nothing and they are fairly responsive about such matters. You must have been upset about it to have posted here, so perhaps talk to your other half and then make an appointment to speak with the police together.

Be aware that the police are not obliged to act, or things may come out that you would rather didn't, but also be reassured that they will take it seriously.

Good luck
 
#4
pyrogenica said:
Harssment is defined in UK law as being
a course of conduct; which amounts to harassment of another; which the defendant knows, or ought to know amounts to harassment of another.
Harassment is not defined in the Act, except that it includes causing the person alarm or distress

Might be worth having a look at this link: LINKY

My advice is to talk to the police, it will cost you nothing and they are fairly responsive about such matters. You must have been upset about it to have posted here, so perhaps talk to your other half and then make an appointment to speak with the police together.

Be aware that the police are not obliged to act, or things may come out that you would rather didn't, but also be reassured that they will take it seriously.

Good luck
yeah what he said
 
#5
If you have kept a record of everything that has happened and have proof of the harassment then the Police can either issue a non formal warning to this person, or a formal Harassment Notice which will state that this person cannot contact or go near you or your family for a set period of time (usually 6 months). Given that your OH and this person work together that could be a problem, but the Police will advise you what they think will be the best course of action.

Hope its resolved soon!
 
#6
Yep, forget that. Thanks. The police will want a diarised account of all that has transpired. Don't leave anything out, and don't feel intimidated about talking to them, either, they need an accurate account
 
#7
tired_very_tired said:
I don't want to disclose too many details on here (for obvious reasons,) but if me and my hubby go to the police about someone who's been harassing us on and off for years, what will happen?

Hubby and this person (let's call her Susie McDoingmyheadin) are both in the army (same regt).

If we get the police involved will it cause problems for her/my OH at work?

Don't care if it causes her problems seeing as she's never given 2 sh@t's about what she's doing to us. She always comes up smelling of roses anyway, regardless of whatever she does. Even her punishment posting never materialised, for some reason.

I don't know if the police will do anything, anyway, but we're fed-up of this cr%p and don't know what else to do.

Ignoring the harasser does nothing either; they keep popping up like a bad smell. It's not like they're constantly bothering us as they don't do anything for months, then we hear from them again. But, they just won't f!*k off and I don't get why. Well, I do get why - they just can't let go for some unknown reason.

Cheers for any help/advice/insight.
First of all, thanks for raising this subject, because I'm in the same situation, but with civvies.

For you, Mrs Tired, go to your Families/Welfare Officer/Army Welfare type person and get the "Susie" sorted out. PM me for numbers if you want. Mr Slug is AWS (albeit under a patio) and I might be able to get him to help out.

Right then, here is my problem. I am very rarely at my house because I can't be bothered to drive all the way up here all the time and have "employed" a gardener to sort stuff out for me. Which he hasn't. I came home last year to find a chip in the patio windows (completely shattered) which could have only been done by him cutting the grass. He claims it was someone taking "potshots" at my house (yeah because they are like that up in Richmond) and he could get his mate to fix it. Which he did - eventually. Anyhoo, they are constantly phoning me (and Toppers because he looks after the house when I am not here) and the time before last I came home the gardening type chap blocked me into the house by parking his car and trailer right across my drive. Nicey.

I am refusing to pay him because he claims to be a gardener and my back fence and gate have fallen off because he didn't cut back the ivy (as I asked him to do, twice) and his "mate" can swivel too because the gardener caused the window to smash. I've had them both round here today (the Chuckle brothers) demanding cash. I was on the phone to Bigbird67 at the time and she heard the whole thing where I threatened to call the police because they were harrassing me. I then received 2 letters off them and a little snippet is "Mr AP was present today and experienced the verbal abuse and being threatened with the words harrassement (sic) and having the police called".

They are threatening to take me to court. Any solicitor type buffs out there who can help? I'm scared to be in my own house because them two loonies keep phoning me or knocking on the door.

And they scare the dog.

Snailio-ho-ho.
 
#8
In my experience, most civilian police (and I say most, as apparently it varies from county to county) can give a warning after a statement is made regarding perceived harassment. If there is a single further incidence after that they can arrest. Alternatively, if you can produce a course of conduct (sometimes as little as 2 occasions), comprising a clear record of harassment (via any media) it is possible to proceed to an arrest. As such, it is very important to keep a diary of the occurances that is dated, as well as any documentation, such as emails or photographs. As with bullying, it's more about perceived harassment and doesn't always have to be classed as physically threatening, as that's somewhere it can always escalate to.

The non-police route option is to persue an anti-molestation order in a civil court, and can be arranged by a solicitor. Again a well documented course of conduct will help. You will however be asked to explain if you have reported it to the police, and if or why not anything was done.

My impression is that it is something taken very seriously by the police at the moment, particularly with regard to domestic relationships. If it's adversely affecting your life then I would strongly suggest talking to the police.
 
#9
milsum said:
In my experience, most civilian police (and I say most, as apparently it varies from county to county) can give a warning after a statement is made regarding perceived harassment. If there is a single further incidence after that they can arrest. Alternatively, if you can produce a course of conduct (sometimes as little as 2 occasions), comprising a clear record of harassment (via any media) it is possible to proceed to an arrest. As such, it is very important to keep a diary of the occurances that is dated, as well as any documentation, such as emails or photographs. As with bullying, it's more about perceived harassment and doesn't always have to be classed as physically threatening, as that's somewhere it can always escalate to.

The non-police route option is to persue an anti-molestation order in a civil court, and can be arranged by a solicitor. Again a well documented course of conduct will help. You will however be asked to explain if you have reported it to the police, and if or why not anything was done.

My impression is that it is something taken very seriously by the police at the moment, particularly with regard to domestic relationships. If it's adversely affecting your life then I would strongly suggest talking to the police.
It's not a domestic. It's some old bugger I am refusing to pay because he is not doing a proper job, and has broken my window and got his "mate" to come and fix it.

I'm all in favour of calling up a couple of Kingos and getting them to trash their houses, but Liz the Nurse says they are not worth a prison sentence for. It's just wrong that I feel scared being in my own house in case they knock and kick off again.
 
#10
tvt
sorry to be the one, but this stinks of sh*t. get your hubby to sort it or tell you the truth. if it is as bad as you say, then either he can, his boss can or there is more to the story than you are saying(know!).

Ask him.
 
#11
The domestic reference is an aside, as that was the case with my experience, but having spoken to various police officers about it harassment is problem that is taken seriously.

You can ring your local Police Service's number, make a complaint. That will be logged, a record made and names taken. The words 'I don't feel safe in my own house' are precisely what I would advise you tell them. It's unacceptable behaviour, and sometimes a warning is all that is required for them to bugger off and leave you alone.
 
#12
milsum said:
The domestic reference is an aside, as that was the case with my experience, but having spoken to various police officers about it harassment is problem that is taken seriously.

You can ring your local Police Service's number, make a complaint. That will be logged, a record made and names taken. The words 'I don't feel safe in my own house' are precisely what I would advise you tell them. It's unacceptable behaviour, and sometimes a warning is all that is required for them to bugger off and leave you alone.
Good post, I concur, though a warning is usually effective, I find a nice small cell works just as well :twisted:
 
#13
milsum said:
The domestic reference is an aside, as that was the case with my experience, but having spoken to various police officers about it harassment is problem that is taken seriously.

You can ring your local Police Service's number, make a complaint. That will be logged, a record made and names taken. The words 'I don't feel safe in my own house' are precisely what I would advise you tell them. It's unacceptable behaviour, and sometimes a warning is all that is required for them to bugger off and leave you alone.
I did that, hence I got the "scarey" letters.

I'd rather take it to bloody court and see what they have to say for themselves. I kid you not, one more knock on my door or phone call from either of them and the "verbal abuse" they complained about will escalate.

I've also got a Swiss Army Penknife and a shovel and am not afraid to deploy them.
 
#14
appreciate what you are saying but it's an issue that can be sorted by a decent boss. that is why we have a CoC! speak to some one higher and get it sorted then there is no need for plod. if it doesn't work out to your satisfaction then involve plod. no one should live in fear but we have ways of sorting out bullies. Ask Him!
 
#15
I concur with what milsum has said here, the police are the only way to deal with any threat of harassment, retaliation will only compound matters.

As for the original post, and repeating what I said previously "Be aware that the police are not obliged to act, or things may come out that you would rather didn't, but also be reassured that they will take it seriously"

This means that everything has to come out in the open sooner or later, and there will be a risk of counter accusations.

I have helped a member of my own staff deal with a similar situation, the police were excellent and appropriate pressure was applied higher up the food chain (who hadn't taken it seriously).
 
#16
DogWank said:
tvt
sorry to be the one, but this stinks of sh*t. get your hubby to sort it or tell you the truth. if it is as bad as you say, then either he can, his boss can or there is more to the story than you are saying(know!).

Ask him.
It stinks even more of shíte if you knew the whole b*ll*cky story (which I do, unfortunately), but I'm not going to broadcast all the details on a message board the world and his wife can read.

pyrogenica said:
This means that everything has to come out in the open sooner or later, and there will be a risk of counter accusations.
She's already made up lies about what he's 'supposed' to have done.

Guess we just hoped she'd get bored and do one.

Ta to all those who have advised.

Pyrogenica - thanks for the link; v. helpful.
 
#17
I feel too ill to sleep. If the Chuckle Brothers DARE to knock on my door again, they are getting a swift sharp "Your Tune", and the smallest violin in the world, playing just for them.

Then I will get the shovel out of the garage, hit them repeatedly, get the dog to savage them and get my brother to kick their tits in. As a back up, I have Listy to squish them.
 
#18
The_Snail said:
I feel too ill to sleep. If the Chuckle Brothers DARE to knock on my door again, they are getting a swift sharp "Your Tune", and the smallest violin in the world, playing just for them.

Then I will get the shovel out of the garage, hit them repeatedly, get the dog to savage them and get my brother to kick their tits in. As a back up, I have Listy to squish them.
As a general rule in life do not make threats. For example, do not say, "I am going to call the police". Call the Fookin Police! Tell them you are a female, alone in the house and have two males bloking you in and making threats. Tell them you are scared. Even if they dont respond in the timely manner you would like, your call will have been recorded and will provide evidence in future if needed of the harrassment.

Another good idea is to video them. The video makes good evidence and is far better than just your word against theirs.

If they want money, tell them, in writing, in no unceratin terms, that you will not pay and that they must take you to court and you do not expect to hear from them again other than through that avenue. Any further visits they make to your house will then very obviously be nothing but harrassment and you should make records and where possible get video/photographic evidence of such visits.
 
#19
Dog-faced-soldier said:
The_Snail said:
I feel too ill to sleep. If the Chuckle Brothers DARE to knock on my door again, they are getting a swift sharp "Your Tune", and the smallest violin in the world, playing just for them.

Then I will get the shovel out of the garage, hit them repeatedly, get the dog to savage them and get my brother to kick their tits in. As a back up, I have Listy to squish them.
As a general rule in life do not make threats. For example, do not say, "I am going to call the police". Call the Fookin Police! Tell them you are a female, alone in the house and have two males bloking you in and making threats. Tell them you are scared. Even if they dont respond in the timely manner you would like, your call will have been recorded and will provide evidence in future if needed of the harrassment.

Another good idea is to video them. The video makes good evidence and is far better than just your word against theirs.

If they want money, tell them, in writing, in no unceratin terms, that you will not pay and that they must take you to court and you do not expect to hear from them again other than through that avenue. Any further visits they make to your house will then very obviously be nothing but harrassment and you should make records and where possible get video/photographic evidence of such visits.
Lo and behold, another letter has appeared through my door this evening, after getting about 5 "withheld" phone calls. "Further to my letter blahdy blah, We expect to hear from you within 7 days, or are going to start court proceedings. We are now in receipt of your unit address and are going to contact the senior officer of your unit within due course".

If I worked at Tescos or Greggs would they be doing that? Besides which, the OC would probably just laugh at him.

I'ts not funny though. 2 OAPs are scaring me!!!
 
#20
Put some ap mines in the garden and point out that they have missed a patch. When the bang comes try to look shocked and make out it's a terrorist attack by al qaeda against a member of the forces - you.
 

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