Happy National Jesuit Effigy burning Day

#1
Enjoy your fireworks and have a beer or two to celebrate that failed Jesuit mission to blow up the Houses of Parliament so they could nick our country
 
#2
I would love to celebrate tonight, but I'm too busy loading all these barrels onto a pontoon. My mate want's me to float them down the Thames to this big tower with a clock in it. by the way, are there any EOD guys out their that can tell me how long it takes for 6 feet of fuse to burn down.
 
#5
Actually, we would perhaps be better blowing up the Houses of Parliament now as there are probably more Jesuits inside it than outside of it these days.
 
#6
GeorgeMaciver said:
Actually, we would perhaps be better blowing up the Houses of Parliament now as there are probably more Jesuits inside it than outside of it these days.
I think you may be mistaken...Tony blair wasn't a Jesuit, he thought he was Jesus...subtle but different! :p
 
#7
Well, both sides of the House are constantly telling us to concentrate on 'old-fashioned values' these days, you'd think they were trying to tell us something.

Damn, my matches keep going out...
 
#8
Matches? ffs, in the films they use a zippo (or similar) which is thrown dramatically onto the ground (usually onto a puddle of petrol or similar).
Another method you can try is firing a round at a petrol tank/box of explosives.
 
#10
theoriginalphantom said:
Matches? ffs, in the films they use a zippo (or similar) which is thrown dramatically onto the ground (usually onto a puddle of petrol or similar).
Another method you can try is firing a round at a petrol tank/box of explosives.
Yes that's right one ordinary round of ball will ignite a petrol tank...but only if fired by the "goodie". Baddies can get through whole cases of 4B1T without igniting the hero's vehicle/helicopter/boat. Make sure therefore that you are in fact the goodie; a baddie recognition feature will be either having a scar, talking with a bad South African accent or possibly just wearing black...
 
#11
I think you'll find that all such activity has been placed on an 'unsafe' list, and that you must instead watch a short film of some similar activity taken last year. All politically or morally unsound commentary concerning violence, religion and reactionary political thought will have been elided. You will remain silent throughout the uplifting overview of events given by your regional Leader. You will enjoy.
 
#13
Cuddles said:
theoriginalphantom said:
Matches? ffs, in the films they use a zippo (or similar) which is thrown dramatically onto the ground (usually onto a puddle of petrol or similar).
Another method you can try is firing a round at a petrol tank/box of explosives.
Yes that's right one ordinary round of ball will ignite a petrol tank...but only if fired by the "goodie". Baddies can get through whole cases of 4B1T without igniting the hero's vehicle/helicopter/boat. Make sure therefore that you are in fact the goodie; a baddie recognition feature will be either having a scar, talking with a bad South African accent or possibly just wearing black...
but the punisher (for example) wears black and he's a kind of bad goodie. (unlike Bill Oddie, Tim Brooke-Taylor and Graeme Garden) Where do we stand on the shooting of explosive things with people like him?
 
#14
theoriginalphantom said:
Cuddles said:
theoriginalphantom said:
Matches? ffs, in the films they use a zippo (or similar) which is thrown dramatically onto the ground (usually onto a puddle of petrol or similar).
Another method you can try is firing a round at a petrol tank/box of explosives.
Yes that's right one ordinary round of ball will ignite a petrol tank...but only if fired by the "goodie". Baddies can get through whole cases of 4B1T without igniting the hero's vehicle/helicopter/boat. Make sure therefore that you are in fact the goodie; a baddie recognition feature will be either having a scar, talking with a bad South African accent or possibly just wearing black...
but the punisher (for example) wears black and he's a kind of bad goodie. (unlike Bill Oddie, Tim Brooke-Taylor and Graeme Garden) Where do we stand on the shooting of explosive things with people like him?
I am not aware of this one you call "The Punisher", OP, however I would suggest safely off to a flank?
 
#16
GeorgeMaciver said:
Enjoy your fireworks and have a beer or two to celebrate that failed Jesuit mission to blow up the Houses of Parliament so they could nick our country
On a serious note guys, alcohol and fireworks do not mix. So what we usually do is drink all the beer first and then set the fireowrks off...
 
#17
Murphy_Slaw said:
I would love to celebrate tonight, but I'm too busy loading all these barrels onto a pontoon. My mate want's me to float them down the Thames to this big tower with a clock in it. by the way, are there any EOD guys out their that can tell me how long it takes for 6 feet of fuse to burn down.
35-45 sec/ft(ish) so 6x40/60(av)= 4 mins approx

So, assuming you need to make the 1000m safety distance(1), prolly best not to wear a respirator.


(1)Hate to see you left open to an HSE prosecution for sloppy drills. :)
 
#18
Cuddles said:
theoriginalphantom said:
Matches? ffs, in the films they use a zippo (or similar) which is thrown dramatically onto the ground (usually onto a puddle of petrol or similar).
Another method you can try is firing a round at a petrol tank/box of explosives.
Yes that's right one ordinary round of ball will ignite a petrol tank...but only if fired by the "goodie". Baddies can get through whole cases of 4B1T without igniting the hero's vehicle/helicopter/boat. Make sure therefore that you are in fact the goodie; a baddie recognition feature will be either having a scar, talking with a bad South African accent or possibly just wearing black...
And he will have the good guy's former lady hanging off him, before she sees the error of her ways and she does indeed love the goodie
 
#19
PE4rocks said:
Murphy_Slaw said:
I would love to celebrate tonight, but I'm too busy loading all these barrels onto a pontoon. My mate want's me to float them down the Thames to this big tower with a clock in it. by the way, are there any EOD guys out their that can tell me how long it takes for 6 feet of fuse to burn down.
35-45 sec/ft(ish) so 6x40/60(av)= 4 mins approx

So, assuming you need to make the 1000m safety distance(1), prolly best not to wear a repirator.


(1)Hate to see you left open to an HSE prosecution for sloppy drills. :)
Thanks PE4. Have now revised my plan and will use James Bomd style getaway using rocket powered speedboat.
 

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