Happy Families

The wife and I were at home watching TV.

I had the remote and was switching back and forth between a

fishing channel and the porn channel.
She became more and more annoyed and finally said:

"For God's sake! Leave it on the porn channel! You already know how to fish!"
A redneck goes to a drug store
And says to the pharmacist:
"I got a hot date tonight, and
I need me some perfection.
How much is a pack of
Them rubbers gonna cost me?"
The pharmacist responds:
"A three-pack of condoms is
$4.99 with tax."
"TACKS!" the shocked Newfie

Says. "Gawd all mighty, don’t
They stay on by themselves?"
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