happy days


Book Reviewer
Crack on (at the double)
ordinaryforces said:
It started on one of those hot German summer days, There i was ensconced in a watchtower guarding an american nuclear site(the location was top top secret)actually you called it Ostbevern, and it was about ten miles north west of munster.anyway as the sun beat down on me without mercy i thought it would be nice to take off my tin lid,so i did, after a while i decided to remove webbing and combat jacket and relax and take in a few rays, all was going well untill i sensed an irate guard commander and four lads approaching down the inertia,GETTT FCKING down here and get fell in,we passed the next tower ,all was going well till we hit the next one, Peach(that was his name, FCUking join this tawt, he was doing the same, but unknown to us an american looey had rang in an bubbled us, right we get to the site guardroom and im thinking we could still wriggle out of this,now the guard sgt was a fair enough bloke and after bollicking us he said now lads if you are prepared to do a double stag(4hrs) we,ll let it go,great i thought untill peachy said Fcuk that, now it was at this point when our troubles really started,a landrover was dispatched from munster and we were on open arrest.On arrival back at camp we were met by a screaming red faced provost sgt bstard,get in that cell scream,get changed into these 50 year old denims scream again,belt boots and beret disappeared,now without a belt you had to roll the waistbaind to sort of tighten the waist, this had the effect of rising trouser bottoms mid-calf and also putting tremendous pressure on your ballbag and then to complete th ensemble your boots were sans laces,next came the double then mark time,this was perfomed with your fists onto your chests and your knees at waist height,(dignity gone at this stage)next morning of we go to see the CO,the screaming p/sgt hands over to even screamier rsm(did i mention at this stage i was shitting myself),anyway to cut it short the CO said do you accept my award(made it sound as if we were getting a prize ffs)14 days detention,COs office to barbers in 8 secs.now the hairstyle that we got consisted of barber placing hand on top of head, all hair that was not underhand was swiftly removed, hand was then raised and remaining tuft was combed to one side and snipped to a straight edge,I have already mentioned my ensemble, well coupled with haircut you can imagine i was no babe-magnet at this stage,i made a mental note to myself that the nexttime boxhead barber and me met i would shoot him twice in the face :twisted: to be continued. unless i,m told not to bother
I’m lost for words. Do the words 'grammar’, ‘punctuation’ and ‘syntax’ mean anything to you…??

My eyes started to bleed after about 20 seconds of looking at that crock of crap……….

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