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Happy Birthday To Me

#1
A woman decides to have a facelift for her birthday. She spends £5,000 and feels pretty good about the results. On her way home she stops at a newsstand to buy a paper. Before leaving, she asks the paper seller, "I hope you don't mind my asking but how old do you think I am?"

"About 32", the clerk replies.

"I'm actually 47," the woman says happily.

A little while later, she goes into McDonald's and upon getting her order, asks the counter girl the same question.

She replies, "I'd guess about 29."

The woman replies, "Nope, I am 47." Now she is feeling really good about herself.

While waiting for the bus home, she asks an old man the same question. He replies, "I'm 78 and my eyesight is starting to go. Although, when I was young, there was a sure way to tell how old a woman was but it requires you to let me put my hands up your blouse and feel your breasts. Then I can tell exactly how old you are."

They waited in silence on the empty street until curiosity got the best of the woman and she finally said, "Oh what the hell, go ahead."

The old man slips both hands up her blouse, under her bra and begins to feel around. After a couple of minutes, she says, "Okay, okay, how old am I?"

He removes his hands and says, "You are 47."

Stunned, the woman says, "That is amazing! How did you know?"

The old man replies, "I was behind you in line at McDonald's."
 

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