Hanging's too Good for 'em - Appropriate Punishments

#1
In the "Who would you like to String Up" thread I came up with the following more fitting demises for a couple of scrotes:

Hoon - Should be given what he describes as "adequate" protection and then locked in a sports hall with four blindfolded AK47-wielding Arabs with infinate ammunition. Twisted Evil

Claire Short - Should be beaten to death on prime-time telly by attractive topless models using roled up copies of the Sun, the Star and the Sport.

Bush, Rumsfeld and Cheney - Lock 'em in a primary school in Fallujah and then announce on Mil.com that there may be some insurgents there but as it is a school so they may wish to exercise caution. Then retire to a safe distance and watch the ordnance rain down.Twisted Evil Twisted Evil
I've come up with another one :

Tony Banks and Gerald Kaufman to be covered in chicken offal and fed alive to a pack of starving foxes :twisted: . Kaufman's demise to be shown live prime-time on the BBC he hates so much.


So does anyone else have any more creative, entertaining or appropriate (in a warped way) methods of dispatching a few hate figures?

Perhaps there could be marks for artistic impression and general sickness. Illustrations welcome.
 
#2
David Blunkett - Locked in the male showers of HMP leeds with 50 cons and a slipery bar of soap.

Alistair Darling - Tied to a train track and made to wait for the 17:15 from Liverpool.

Prince Phillip - Dumped in India on his own with nothing but a robin hood costume, a small painted wooden duck, a pencil and a minature plastic trumpet.
 
#4
Peter Bradley - Give him a farm in Zimbabwe then cahin him inside the house with a big sign in the garden saying "Mugabe is a thieving poufter".



Meatballs - I suspect if you dropped the DOE in India as suggested he would probably emerge a couple of weeks later immaculately dressed and driving a coach and four at the head of a small army. As long as he stayed away from the electrics he'd be OK (apparently on one state visit to India he got a bad shock form a badly wired light switch - hence the gaffe about Indian electricians).
 
#5
Bladensburg said:
...Meatballs - I suspect if you dropped the DOE in India as suggested he would probably emerge a couple of weeks later immaculately dressed and driving a coach and four at the head of a small army....
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
I really do hope that some equerry occasionally checks out arrse. TDOE would appreciate some of this. Not that he would understand the tourette signals, obviously.

Maybe time for another poll... are you a Royal Equerry, Lord Lieutenant, Man in Tights etc. (AMS exempt.)
 
#6
Meatballs - I suspect if you dropped the DOE in India as suggested he would probably emerge a couple of weeks later immaculately dressed and driving a coach and four at the head of a small army. As long as he stayed away from the electrics he'd be OK
Lol :lol:

I really do hope that some equerry occasionally checks out arrse. TDOE would appreciate some of this. Not that he would understand the tourette signals, obviously.
I'm going down for conspiracy.
 

Unknown_Quantity

War Hero
Moderator
#12
cdo_gunner said:
Ah yes, keelhauling.


Bring back crucifixion, hanging drawing and quartering too for that matter.

Sensible policies for a happier Britain! :twisted:
Just in case anybody is confused about the hang drawn and quatering method...

Step 1: Hang the victim until he goes purple, then cut him down

Step 2: Castrate him

Step 3: Open his abdomen, make a point of showing the victim their intestines, liver, kidneys and finally, their heart.

Step 4: Cut the body into bits and send the component parts back to where the victim used to hang around - the idea being that his mates decide that the victim was prehaps a bit misguided.

This is all true, the history channel said so :twisted:
 

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