Hanging's too Good for 'em - Appropriate Punishments

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Bladensburg, Nov 22, 2004.

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  1. In the "Who would you like to String Up" thread I came up with the following more fitting demises for a couple of scrotes:

    I've come up with another one :

    Tony Banks and Gerald Kaufman to be covered in chicken offal and fed alive to a pack of starving foxes :twisted: . Kaufman's demise to be shown live prime-time on the BBC he hates so much.

    So does anyone else have any more creative, entertaining or appropriate (in a warped way) methods of dispatching a few hate figures?

    Perhaps there could be marks for artistic impression and general sickness. Illustrations welcome.
  2. David Blunkett - Locked in the male showers of HMP leeds with 50 cons and a slipery bar of soap.

    Alistair Darling - Tied to a train track and made to wait for the 17:15 from Liverpool.

    Prince Phillip - Dumped in India on his own with nothing but a robin hood costume, a small painted wooden duck, a pencil and a minature plastic trumpet.
  3. Osama Bin Laden. Force fed Bacon and Pork sausage till his stomach busts then fed to Pigs. 8O
  4. Peter Bradley - Give him a farm in Zimbabwe then cahin him inside the house with a big sign in the garden saying "Mugabe is a thieving poufter".

    Meatballs - I suspect if you dropped the DOE in India as suggested he would probably emerge a couple of weeks later immaculately dressed and driving a coach and four at the head of a small army. As long as he stayed away from the electrics he'd be OK (apparently on one state visit to India he got a bad shock form a badly wired light switch - hence the gaffe about Indian electricians).
  5. :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
    I really do hope that some equerry occasionally checks out arrse. TDOE would appreciate some of this. Not that he would understand the tourette signals, obviously.

    Maybe time for another poll... are you a Royal Equerry, Lord Lieutenant, Man in Tights etc. (AMS exempt.)
  6. Lol :lol:

    I'm going down for conspiracy.
  7. Bliar: Rogered with a sand-paper strap-on until his eyes bleed?
  8. Cutaway

    Cutaway LE Reviewer


    To die of starvation ?
  9. How about a good old fashioned KEELHAULING for all our beloved politicians
  10. Ah yes, keelhauling.

    Bring back crucifixion, hanging drawing and quartering too for that matter.

    Sensible policies for a happier Britain! :twisted:
  11. Think we could all learn a lot from Vlad the Impaler :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:

    Or, forced exposure to Val Doonicans entire back catalogue 24/7 :p
  12. Unknown_Quantity

    Unknown_Quantity War Hero Moderator

    Just in case anybody is confused about the hang drawn and quatering method...

    Step 1: Hang the victim until he goes purple, then cut him down

    Step 2: Castrate him

    Step 3: Open his abdomen, make a point of showing the victim their intestines, liver, kidneys and finally, their heart.

    Step 4: Cut the body into bits and send the component parts back to where the victim used to hang around - the idea being that his mates decide that the victim was prehaps a bit misguided.

    This is all true, the history channel said so :twisted:
  13. Ever seen Braveheart??
  14. Unknown_Quantity

    Unknown_Quantity War Hero Moderator

    As far as I know William Wallace has the dubious pleasure of being the man that inspired such a fait. What can you say apart from, UNLUCKY!!!!