Handsome!

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by BPS666, May 2, 2013.

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  1. Arghhhhhhhhhhhh, kill it with fire!!
     
  2. Sixty

    Sixty LE Moderator Book Reviewer
    1. ARRSE Cyclists and Triathletes

    EM: " Go on son, I know it's in the NAAFI but how bad can it be? Click it."

    Sixty: "Okey dokey"......................................arrrgghhhhhhhhhhh! Eyeball bleach, now!
     
    • Like Like x 3
  3. I think it has already been killed with fire.........twice. But Jarrod has wanked his nursey sperm onto it to bring it back to life!
     
  4. Just think of the money saved in not having to buy paper bags.
     
  5. Heh heh... that's funny.

    I've always wanted a blind man to play with, poor twat would be going out in kipper ties and purple suits with coco the clown shoes on every day.

    Sadly, the closest I've come to my dream was when I worked in a bar many years ago, a blind man came in and ordered a Guinness. 'Certainly, Sir!' I cried ' Here, take my elbow and we'll sit you down, I'll be right over with your pint'

    It was only as I was pouring it that it hit me what fun was to be had. I think his first pint was decorated with a nice swastika. Many obscenities and crude drawings followed. All the while, the poor man sat with a big smile on his face, complimenting me on what a smashing bloke I am.

    I got caught in the end and given a written warning.
     
  6. You could just become a tailor and only serve Cavalry officers ...

    In braille, I take it?
     
  7. What's the drill for removing fresh chunder from a DII keyboard.......Oh.....never mind....I'll just swap it with some other twat's!
     
  8. Someone pressing her up against a pane of glass?
     
  9. I've just gone back for seconds and noticed the face on that poor fucking dog of hers. Wonder if it led her into a vat of molten cars. She appears to have a fucking tyre grafted onto her top lip.
     
  10. TheresaMay

    TheresaMay LE Moderator DirtyBAT

    WTF were they going on holiday for anyway? Just turn the heating up in the house for a week and it'll feel no different.

    Apart from:

    A. They won't get stung by a jellyfish
    B. They won't have to sit in the airport for hours on end following delays due to a hint of snow being forecast for the Outer Hebrides
    C. They won't have to worry about what they're getting served at any restaurants
    D. They won't have to sit all squashed up for 3 hours whilst some kid behind them relentlessly bangs their seats for the entire duration of the flight

    And if it's the sea they really wanted to take a dip in - one could get in a luke warm bath, whilst the other dumps a vat of salt in it, and whooshes it about for half an hour - then swap over once their arms get tired. For added effect, the one doing the whooshing, could take the odd dump in the other end of the bath, after emptying an ash tray in their first of course - all in the comfort of your own home, whilst listening to an LP of BBC sound effects Volume One - "kids screaming all day".

    Oh, and not forgetting to set their alarms at 0400hrs each day to beat the German neighbours putting towels on sunbeds.
     
  11. I don't think many of the Germans would hang around one they started feeling their way for an empty sunbed. Mind you, I'd probably want to make sure none of the Germans were called Mengele or had a penchant for dropping louse powder down ventilator shafts ...
     
  12. Brotherton Lad

    Brotherton Lad LE Reviewer

    You forgot to mention the pina coladas and the Watney's Red Barrel.

     
  13. AlienFTM

    AlienFTM LE Book Reviewer

    Sorry I can only click "Like" once, otherwise it unlikes.
     
  14. I saw that and thought, 'Fucking christ, its well seen they're both blind!'.

    I wonder if she takes it up the shitter? Anyone done worse?