Handjobs

Better to butter one's own scone?

  • I prefer to spread them myself

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • could you do it for me please?

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • more tea vicar?

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Total voters
    0
#1
Hello chaps! :)

This conundrum has been causing me quite a lot of bother lately, not to mention many, many sleepless nights. So I thought I’d ask you! Is it ever possible to have a handshank from some tart that would feel better than tugging one off oneself?

Ladies, is it ever better to frig your own rig or have some girlie/chap do it for you :?

Discuss:


For my 2p, I don’t think I’ve ever had a decent tug from a bint, although I have faith that there must exist a Rosey Palmer with significant talent, perhaps this could be an incentive for a new apprenticeship scheme?

I remain, &c.

~D.C.
 
#2
You are forgetting a crucial catagory in your study (perhaps through evident lack of experience).

The act of creating modern art over or onto said lady.
 
#4
Bond said:
You are forgetting a crucial catagory in your study (perhaps through evident lack of experience).

The act of creating modern art over or onto said lady.
Aha!

But does the viewing of said art involve any pleasure for the fellow in question? Unless of course, he is an artist in the same taste as Jackson Pollock :?

Creating is in a sense the same as a tug, is it not?

-DC
 
#6
;

"I'll do it for you!!!"
 

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#7
CQMS said:
You don't buy a dog then bark yourself do you?
Well there was one time as a young lad & staying with my auntie, I stepped out of the shower rather quickly, my cousins naughty pup ran in, full of mischievousness, before I knew what happened it shoved its nose into a certain crevasse, I haven’t had such fun since! But I fancy talk of such sport wouldn’t do any good for my reputation here. 8O

-DC
 
#8
;

I'll do it for you!!!
 

Attachments

#9
CQMS said:
You don't buy a dog then bark yourself do you?
Especially if Rover is the one in your Sig Block.
 
#10
Dashing_Chap said:
CQMS said:
But I fancy talk of such sport wouldn’t do any good for my reputation here. 8O

-DC
No it wouldn't you lying boring basterd.
 
#12
F*cking hell DC, I'm new here, and even I can see you're a lying c*nt.
Your "stories" make me want to eat my own teeth.

Why don't you go somewhere else where they like men who pretend to affect a posh accent (and in WRITING for f*ck's sake!) and who make up tales of non-existent fumblings with non-existent girls.

I think I might literally sh!t myself with rage if I see one more of your faux-upper-class posts.
 
#13
Mugatu2 said:
F*cking hell DC, I'm new here, and even I can see you're a lying c*nt.
Your "stories" make me want to eat my own teeth.

Why don't you go somewhere else where they like men who pretend to affect a posh accent (and in WRITING for f*ck's sake!) and who make up tales of non-existent fumblings with non-existent girls.

I think I might literally sh!t myself with rage if I see one more of your faux-upper-class posts.
What a fantastic post :D
 

Command_doh

LE
Book Reviewer
#14
Another sh it thread from the most boring of cnuters, its our resident Toff Walt....

Step up Thrashing cnut!!

You win the Oscar for most inane and pointless poster! Yay! It's a bottle of whiskey, a hot bath and some razor blades for you 'old boy'. You should be proud.
 
#16
Birds have no perceprion of the vinegar stroke and guiding you through it, oh no, they just tug away 'with lady vigour 'til veins build up in their bicep. They thrash it out and for a few seconds beyond before their hearts give out. Hopeless.
 
#17
I have always admired "Wifey's" handy technique and always been very envious of Mr W if it comes to that.
 
#19
Mugatu2 said:
F*cking hell DC, I'm new here, and even I can see you're a lying c*nt.
Your "stories" make me want to eat my own teeth.

Why don't you go somewhere else where they like men who pretend to affect a posh accent (and in WRITING for f*ck's sake!) and who make up tales of non-existent fumblings with non-existent girls.

I think I might literally sh!t myself with rage if I see one more of your faux-upper-class posts.
If it winds you up that much - why bother replying?
 

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