Hand Signals

Today (yet again) I was cut up by a woman driver . My first instinct was to give her a "dickhead" hand signal, but stopped mid-motion when I considered that this wasn't particularly applicable to a woman.

The next option was "wanquer," but again, the action isn't appropriate.

By this time, she'd shot through a red light and was haring up the wrong side of the road, so I missed my chance.

For the rest of the journey, I tried to think of a rude hand signal that is solely applicable to women, but failed. The one- and two-fingered salutes would be the most relevant, but have been adopted into general parlance as gender-neutral gestures.

Anybody got a suggestion for a gesture of displeasure that is solely applicable to women?

 

Drop your keks and flash the spam javelin. Most blokes wouldn't be interested unless you can change gear, negotiate a roundabout and change the CD at the same time.

 

Wat bout the "suck mi cock" gesture. Hand in a wanker motion close to ur mouth n ur tongue forcin one cheek in n out??

 

If she is a lady and you a gentleman, you should simply smile and proceed upon your way without any demonstration of your pique or disgruntlement. Simply smile to yourself and think "Stupid bitch, you can shove your cheap car insurance where the sun doesn't shine, you carpet-munching lesbian whore". I find this anger management technique works really well...

 

Last weekend I overtook a blue rinser who was doing a constant 20 in a 30 area. About half a mile up the road she pulled up behind me at some lights, blew her horn and jabbed two fingers in the air in my direction.

I would have thought at her age she would have driven a bit faster as she didn't have much time to spare....the coffin dodger.

 

That'll do it for me. Thanks.

Now going to practice it in front of a mirror until it becomes second nature...

 

I knew i'd be able to put forward a valuble contribution to this thread when i saw the title. My first valued contribution on ARRSE! Yess

 

Chase her... then drag the offender out the car put your left hand firmly round her neck and with your right hand do a kinda crocodile dundee movement making that stupid hmmm noise too.. then smack her as hard as humanly possible right on the bridge of her nose!!! However be aware that she will not see it coming cos she obviously cant see past the nose on her now fcuked up face!