Halloween - what have you got for those knocking at your door tonight?

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Norfolknchance, Oct 31, 2011.

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  1. There's a few little fuckers around here that need a new head so to help them, and after they've said the memorable lines "Trick or Treat", I'd like to be able to swing the double-sided axe at them and give them a treat! Noisey little twats.

    But there's also that pretty one who is always late for school, runs along the road every morning with everything bouncing - ah, that would be a lovely treat.

    Nurse, my tissues again please, seem to have made a mess!
  2. I have some Chloroform, and my spare room has been covered in plastic sheets already.
  3. [​IMG]
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  4. You're going to feed them bits of your dog?
  5. Command_doh

    Command_doh LE Book Reviewer

    I've fashioned a false front door, a crude glory hole and painted my cock to look like candy cane.
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  6. Chlamydia, I wish it was a joke.
  7. B_AND_T

    B_AND_T LE Book Reviewer

    My erection!
  8. A great big F off Royal Python called Cyd and she is on a starve day!
  9. [​IMG]
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  10. "Trick or friggin' treat"? That's the bloody Yanks for you. Same with "Happy Hallowe'en". How can you be happy about something that is supposed to scare you shitless? The plot's been lost.

    I recall in my childhood days, Hallowe'en was fun at Cubs. There'd be treacle-doused buns hanging from strings, apple bobbing and sweets buried in a bowl of icing suger - all to be acquired with your teeth while your hands were tied behind your back. It used to take ages and a lot of scrubbing with a hard bristle brush to get all that gunk out your hair.

    Kids of today. Don't realise how much fun they could have if only they'd let me tie them up.
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  11. Surely you don't feed your python every day? A grown python should be fed every couple of weeks or so. Therefore a "starve day" will do very little.
  12. Snakes eh ? Now there's an idea, I saw a witches outfit in my sons bedrm the other day ( its his birds apparently ) cobble that with my other sons pet snake (careful) and I could preted to be.......................the mother in law, just have to get hammered on meths first.
  13. B_AND_T

    B_AND_T LE Book Reviewer

    Fussy Cunt!
  14. If any high class hookers dressed as Dracula fancy trick-or treating themselves up to room 2273 of the Conrad Hotel, Shiodome, Tokyo, they are assured of a warm welcome and may even get to see some ectoplasm.
  15. I picked up a large lump of fresh windfall wood specially for the occasion. Only Guisers get anything in my household and then only if they've done a turn. Trick-or-treaters are met with a response appropriate to those demanding money with menaces.

    Seriously though, who the Hell thought that, "Threaten your neighours and they give you stuff" was a good life-lesson to teach kids? Were they from fucking Tottenham?
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