In the barbers shop two customers are just at the end of their haircuts. In the first chair is the Sarnt Major. Like anything on it, Sir? Says the barber. Not bloody likely says the Sarnt Major. My wifell say I smell like a Turkish brothel. Anything on it mate? says the barber to Private Bloggs. Yea, slap it on. My missus dont know what a Turkish brothel smells like.