HAHA! THAT Poem has some competition at last!

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by MrShanklysboots, Dec 13, 2011.

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  1. Some fine Doggerel to have you vomiting as you read it. Taken from Facebook.

    Isn't there some truly inspired tawdry shite there? It's magnificently crap. It's a monument to shitness.

    Proud ere.
     
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  2. Forastero

    Forastero LE Moderator

    Jeez, it's dusty in here tonight.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  3. It gets worse,


    Dusty in here etc etc.
     
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  4. Dusty? That'll be why my eyes are bleeding.
     
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  5. Oh me oh my.

    Oh my lord that's so magnificently shit it's superb.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  6. TheresaMay

    TheresaMay LE Moderator DirtyBAT

    Every bloody year.
     
  7. I've just coughed vomit all over my laptop.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  8. Twas early December, and all through the house,
    nothing stirred, not even a mouse.
    The family all still, because they were dead,
    knife wounds still fresh, through which they had bled
    A smouldering mattress, hid them from view
    why he had done it, nobody knew
     
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  9. Vomit Walt!
     
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  10. Jeebus H Kerist! How many of these can I expect to see on faceache? Answer? Too fucking many. Vomit in typed form.

    Actually got sent "That Poem" today, its late doing the rounds this year.
     
  11. I was hoping that about a minute in it would cut to a video of corpses on fire and the sound of children screaming but alas no, it was serious.

    Even Jesus fucking wept

    Sent from my HTC Vision using Tapatalk
     
  12. So dusty in here I'm developing silicosis.
     
  13. TheIronDuke

    TheIronDuke LE Book Reviewer

    The embers glowed softly, and in their dim light,
    I gazed round the room and I cherished the sight.
    My wife was asleep, her head on my chest,
    My daughter beside me, angelic in rest.
    Outside the snow fell, a blanket of white,
    Transforming the yard to a winter delight.

    The sparkling lights in the tree I believe,
    Completed the magic that was Christmas Eve.
    My eyelids were heavy, my breathing was deep,
    Secure and surrounded by love I would sleep.
    In perfect contentment, or so it would seem,
    So slumbered I, perhaps I started to dream.

    The sound wasn't loud, and it wasn't too near,
    But I opened my eyes when it tickled my ear.

    Perhaps just a cough, I didn't quite know,
    Then the sure sound of footsteps outside in the snow.

    Standing out in the cold and the dark of the night,
    A lone figure stood, his face weary and tight.

    The dogs hit him first and ripped up his legs

    I shouted “Get in lads, theres good fucking degs”
    His screaming and howling got right on my tits
    So I broke all his fingers, I hate creepy gits

    “The fuck are you up to you creepy doss cunt?”
    But the dogs had his throat so he just made some grunts

    I was freezing my nuts off and his patter was drear
    So I left the dogs feeding and went in for a beer

    Christmas day it was dawning, the snow gleaming white
    I finished my beer then went for a shite

    While wiping my arsehole I felt a warm glow
    My family, my friends and Christmas and snow

    I counted my blessings that cold winters night
    I was better off than that cunt, the creepy dead shite
     
    • Like Like x 13
  14. Yeah, but did you LOL?
    I almost did, but held back in case you tore me yet another new arrsehole...
     
  15. TheIronDuke

    TheIronDuke LE Book Reviewer

    [​IMG]

    I
    am fairly physical when it comes to love but yeah, BarkingSpider...

    [​IMG]
     
    • Like Like x 1