H&S Careful with the biccies

Discussion in 'The Intelligence Cell' started by OldRedCap, Oct 29, 2009.

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  1. well I thought it was quite funny :D
  2. Did you bother to read the whole story?
    Nothing to see here.Move along please.
  3. Some years ago I did a H&S course and none of this bollox came into it, this is some wonker with a "no work" type position just thinking up crap as they cannot find anthing worth while to do, another load of New Labour BS
  4. tropper...it was a SPOOF survey sent out by Fox's Bisquits that some saddos ACTUALLY filled in!!
  5. 441 councils, 516 H&S workers. One of these wage-thieves per council is more than enough, but some have 2 or more? Fcuking ridiculous.

    Fox's Crunch Creams have long been my number one biccie and this top wind up means I can like the compnay that makes them too.
  6. Sorry about that could not scrole down on the link so did not get to any spoof bit
  7. You and ORC perhaps? :D
  8. I am OUTRAGED by the fact that that I was initially OUTRAGED by this article due to me only scanning it and assuming it was another euro-inspired H&S fiasco...

    ...is there no end to their meddling?

    ...Fox's Biscuits should be more responsible. OUTRAGING people in my condition. Someone could have been hurt...

    ...er, it's political correctness gone mad etc.

    OUTRAGEOUS! :wink:

  9. This accounts for our beloved leaders indecision when asked about his biscuit preferences. He had to check with H & S that he ate a suitable type of buscuit so that if the loving masses followed his example all would be correct.
  10. Sometimes the truth is stranger than spoof.

    1) Which activity would the average punter consider to be the more hazardous?

    a) Using a chainsaw

    b) Operating a small, bog standard office paper shredder

    2) By reference to volume of H&S related bumpf and procedures associated with said activities, which did a workplace H&S c'tee think was the more hazardous?

    3) What did the H&S Executive itself think of their priorities and mindset following a fatality? (Hint: nobody came to a sticky end in a paper shredder)
  11. What is the best biscuit for someone to choke on? I'll have some sent to Cyclops.
  12. Maybe the 'Elf & Safety' Goblins should do a H&S Survey of how local authority workers have a dump..... maybe send a letter advising them that the WC in the Place of Work is a dangerous place.....

    (a) You could slip on somebodys wee on the floor...
    (b) Have a nasty accident by treading in someone's pooh on the floor.
    (c) Have your 'Human Rights' violated by looking into an unflushed toilet with 'floaters' in it... (nasty one that, nearly makes me sick..)
    (d) A Supervisory Team of Inspectors to oversee how employees remove clothing, then sit on WC pedestal in the 'correct manner' to avoid accidents in the process of having a 'clear-out'...!!
    (d) No unauthorised sexual congress or manual dexterous excitment of self whilst engaged in the cubicle. Very dangerous to indulge in, makes you weak, deaf and hair fall out.... also is very 'sinful' according to the Health and Safety manual.

    A fertile area for Health and Safety Officials to looks into, produce a :oops: :roll: :p weighty tome for general guidance thereof.... oh yes, indeedy!!
  13. As I was putting my trolley back, outside Sainsbury's, this afternoon (to reclaim my quid), I noticed there were even bloody safety warnings on the handles of the trolleys!! :omg: And they were only the little shallow trolleys!

    Didn't bother reading what it said. :x
  14. I knew it started out as a spoof survey. What I was hoping to illustrate was just how it was followed up by the H & S Gestapo.