Gypsies and travellers!

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by BiscuitsAB, May 28, 2012.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. BiscuitsAB

    BiscuitsAB LE Moderator

    • Excellent Topic Excellent Topic x 2
    • Funny Funny x 2
  2. I'll be crying myself to sleep tonight.
    • Like Like x 5
  3. [​IMG]
    • Like Like x 13
    • Funny Funny x 1
  4. Lots of inbreeding, lots of genetic issues, lots of liver and heart issues. The joys of a close community!!
  5. Careful what you wish for. No more Gypos = no more big fat gypsy weddings. Has anyone noticed the top quality fems on that show?? And how the old wimin are all minging. Its as if they magically transform when the hit 30. Them and the eskimos.
  6. This is a real letter, which somebody posted to the Tax office in
    IRELAND explaining why they had not paid Tax for several years.

    This is alleged to be the actual text of a letter received by the
    Revenue Commissioners from a Co. Longford farmer in reply to an
    income Tax demand.

    Dear Sirs,

    Your letter arrived this morning in an open envelope and it would
    have given the son and myself pleasure had it not revived in us a
    melancholy reflection of what has gone before. You say you thought
    the account could have been settled long ago, and you could not
    understand why it hadn't. Well, here are the reasons:

    In 1987 I purchased a hay shed on credit. In 1988 I bought a
    combine harvester, a manure spreader, two horses, a double barrel
    shifter, two cows and ten razor back pigs, also on credit.

    In 1989 the bloody hay shed burnt to the ground leaving not a damn
    thing. I got no insurance either as the bloody premium had lapsed.
    5 years ago one of the horses went lame and I loaned the other one to my
    brother who starved the poor bugger to death.

    In 1990 my father died and my brother was put away when he tried
    to marry one of his sheep named Hilda. A knacker got my daughter
    pregnant and I had to pay him a grand to stop him becoming one of
    my relatives.

    In 1991 my son got the mumps which spread to his balls and he had
    to be castrated to save his life. Later in the year I went fishing
    on the Shannon and the bloody boat overturned, drowning two of my
    sons, neither of them being the eunuch who was by now wearing his
    sisters make-up and dresses. Not long after he emigrated to
    America with the new parish priest. They are now married and
    trying for children.

    In 1992 my wife ran away with a pig jobber from Drumlish and left
    me with new born twins as a souvenir and I had to get a
    housekeeper, so I married her to keep down expenses. I had a hell
    of a job getting her pregnant (to qualify for more children's
    allowance). I went to see the doctor. He advised me to create some
    excitement at the crucial moment so that night I brought my
    shotgun to bed and when I thought the moment was right I leaned
    out of bed and shot both barrels through the window, the wife ****
    the bed, I ruptured myself, and the next morning I found I had
    blown both doors off the barn, shot my best dairy cow and killed
    the knacker who was in the hay loft with my daughter trying to
    get more money out of me, which he did because I had to pay for
    his bloody funeral expenses.

    The next year, 1993, someone cut the balls off my prize bull,
    poisoned the water, and set fire to the house.

    I was bolloxed and
    took to the drink and did not stop until all I had left was a
    pocket watch and a weak bladder. Winding the watch and running for
    a piss kept me busy for a time.

    This year I took heart again and bought (on the hire purchase) a
    bulldozer, tractor and trailer and a new bull. Then the Shannon
    flooded and washed the bloody lot away, my second wife got V.D.
    from a land inspector and my last surviving son died from wiping
    his **** on a poisoned rabbit. I had to put down four dogs who
    were worrying the sheep.

    It surprises me very much that you say you will cause trouble if
    I don't pay up. If you can think of anything I've missed I should
    like to know about it. Trying to get money out of me will be like
    trying to poke butter up a hedgehog's hole with a red hot needle.

    I'm praying for a cloud of cat's **** to pass your way and I hope
    it will fall on you and the bastards in your office who sent me
    this final demand.

    Yours for more credit

    John Murphy"
    • Like Like x 8
    • Funny Funny x 7
  7. Lots of lead poisoning and falling off church roofs?
    • Like Like x 1
  8. And Italians (except for Monica Bellucci of course).
  9. It is a great pity that, due to the political correctness now endemic within the hallowed digital walls of Arrse, one is no longer allowed to offer the opinion that said pikey genes should be declared unnecessary to human development and screened out.
    • Like Like x 5
  10. An odd thing: I actually took the time to read the full .pdf report linked from the article. I was surprised to see no mention of the impact of violence and crime on life expectancy. In Ireland I have seen many news reports of stabbings shooting and homicide by other means among the traveler community. I would presume that the same problems are prevalent among the travelers in the UK. In addition the article cited includes no mention that I could find of the problems of alcohol and drug abuse which exist throughout most traveler communities. These problems can have a profound effect on adult health, prenatal health and infant mortality. Unless the statistical analysis is controlled for these self induced factors the conclusions of the report would seem to me to lack validity.

    In summation, if they want to kill each other off and drink themselves to death I will not give the tiniest fuck for their problems
    • Like Like x 15
  11. Hear Hear!
  12. But they breed like fucking rabbits, so I'm not binning the 'pikey' section of my final solution white paper just yet.
    • Like Like x 5
  13. Didn't the boxheads work on that a while back?
  14. Too bad so sad
  15. I don't think that Gypsies are into drugs. In fact I'm sure they are well against it.