Gunners Grace

Discussion in 'Gunners' started by jaws_of_victory, Mar 9, 2006.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. I've been asked to say the grace for a mess do on saturday, apparently there is a specific gunner's grace I can use in place of the "for what we are about to receive..." but I'm buggered if I can find it. Any thoughts?
  2. Oh Lord

    Bless this bunch as they munch their lunch.

  3. Lord Jesus Christ divine,
    Who turned water into wine,
    please forgive these foolish men
    who are about to turn it back again
  4. [align=center]For what we are about to receive,
    Thank God
    Amen [/align]
  5. If you are all satisfied then charge
  6. Works for me!!!!

  7. I once attended a "semi-formal" dinner (with a 2 colleagues) with a large group of former gunner officers. I didn't have a clue what the words of the Grace were then so with no Mr Vice it turned out that us 3 guests were fair game to be nominated for grace. 3 to 1 turned out to be good odds for me because after a moments panic 8O the picked on the guy next to me who had a prolonged "oh no!" moment before the words came to him. :D
  8. ''Some have meat,but cannot eat.Others eat,but have no meat.We haved meat,and we can eat,so let us Thank The Lord''


    ''For God's sake,begin''
  9. Auld-Yin

    Auld-Yin LE Book Reviewer Kit Reviewer Reviews Editor

    Some hae meat, but canna eat
    and some hae nane but want it;
    but we hae meat, and we can eat
    and sae the Lord be thankit.

  10. Padre's Classic:

    Thanks for the grub.

  11. For what we are about to receive

    Thank God
  12. Good Food, Good Friends and all the other Good F's in life, we thank God. Amen.
  13. Muhandis89 that was a p**s poor attempt at the Selkirk Grace which goes as:

    "Some hae meet wha canna eat, some hae meet that want it. We hae meat so we can eat, let the Lord be thank it"

    This is said at all Lowland Gunner Mess do's prior to eating....excellent!
  14. The Gospel according to St Eligius

    In the beginning there was chaos and the chaos was the Infantry for they were alone and so afflicted. And fear was with the infantry for they cried unto the Lord, “Save us, for we are afraid”.

    And the Lord heard their cries and put some of them on beasts of burden and these he called Cavalry, which later became the Household Cavalry.

    But as time past the Infantry and the Household Cavalry again cried out to the Lord, saying “Save us for we are again afraid”. And the Lord said unto them, “Fools! I will send unto you a race of men who are strong in spirit and noble of heart; these men shall be called the Royal Artillery”.

    “And when you need light they will light your way with bursting stars in the sky, and when you need cover they will cloak you in clouds of smoke and you will have high explosives when you need them. With fire missions, these and more will be yours”.
    And the Lord gave the Artillery big guns and other small pieces such as Striker and the Infantry and the Household Cavalry were jealous for they had so little.

    The Lord then gave the Artillery the Nuclear and when the Infantry and the Household Cavalry saw this they fell to their knees in wonder, saying, “Surely he is on the side of the greatest and the greatest is the Artillery”. And the Lord said, “Correct”, for they were correct.

    But the greedy Artillery were not satisfied and demanded bigger and better weapons with such noise that even God was heard to cry “Enough!” But he gave them Rapier and the Artillery marvelled at this gift and then went out to play forthwith and they drove exceedingly fast and the Rapier did not work. At this the Infantry and the Household Cavalry laughed because the Artillery began to be afraid.

    The cried unto the Lord, “Help us for we are the greatest”. And the Lord gave them Ground to Air Missiles and Blowpipe and Javelin and HVM but there was more chaos and the Infantry and the Household Cavalry continued to laugh with such merriment.
    The Artillery felt ridiculed and helpless. “Oh Lord” the cried, “We are not great anymore”. And the Lord marvelled at their humility and said unto them, “I will send you my only begotten son – A Craftsman, for you”.

    The Craftsman Christ came down and fixed the Rapier and other mechanical machines with the help of his disciples the RLC who provided the loaves of bread and black boxes of spares and the Rapier worked and the Artillery marvelled.

    And so it came to pass that the Lord gave the Artillery and the Infantry and the Household Cavalry a whole workshop with many skills saying, “These are my sons, if you ignore them your Stormers, Rapiers, Rovers, Radios and Rifles will not work”. All three doubted the word of the Lord but soon found it to be true and said, “Surely these men are the greatest”.

    “No,” said the Craftsman Christ, “There is one even greater – the Artificer Sergeant Major; for he keeps every bástard working!”
  15. GNR40, and Ive enjoyed every one of them.

    PS So thats what mr vice was saying!