Grumpy old ARRSE (30 plus)

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by blessed baby cakes, Jun 13, 2005.

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  1. I'm hooked on the 'Grumpy Old...' TV series, I find myself sitting giggling and nodding as the oldies moan their socks off...

    So I thought why not give a space over to 'Grumpy old ARRSE'

    A quiet place to ponder those thoughts such as...

    'Why does my neighbour leave the radio on all day for her fuffing cat?' (I’ve reverted to my childhood on this one and am trying to get the fuffer to jump out the window with the button on string trick tapping the glass trick, summers here and I know she'll be leaving her windows open :) so hopefully it'll be bye-bye Mr Wibbles(don't ask me, I never named the scabby thing))

    So Grumpy oldie’s what gets You and Why?

    *The TV licence fee and the nothingness in return?
    *Chewing gum on the street in hot weather?
    *Those b*stards who try to hi-jack you to sign up to direct debits for charities in the street?
    *People feeding winged rats in the park?
    *The PC nature of schooling, viz parts of history being ignored?
    *PC in general?
    *PC in total?
    *Computer games showing a fantasy world of violence & killing?



    PS When Cutaway was asked for his list and after I’d stopped his ranting due to his BP climbing to boiling point and called him a Grumpy Old Man, he said, and I quote....

  2. Wooaah Beebs - when did 30 plus become old? And I'll be 40 next month and I hate people saying that's old!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Oops, I see your point :wink:
  3. Cutaway

    Cutaway LE Reviewer

    Just what do you mean quoting me in an 'thirty plus 'thread ?
  4. I'm hitting 39 soon and got told I was considered a 'Geriatric Mother'.... :x

    There's one, Why are Doctors now so young?

    I've yet to see an older Doctor in the hospital.
    Some don't even look as if they're shaving yet, and the next one who asks my nearly 18 year old if he's the babies father will need urgent medical assistance! :evil:

    Cos you are???? :roll: (I'm paying a reward for proof of Cuts age)

  5. 30! Old?.. whoa nellie!!.. you want a rant ? Well I'm a half century plus and in my day we saw a thing or two that would make your blood boil...

    Hell, no one complained because they only got three TV channels and they were only in black and white cause the show had wit and intelligence and creative writing and people who could act,not celebrity posers whose only claim to fame were a] daddy's money or b] remanufactured parts as a walking advert to medical technology gone balmy..

    The all Friends all Seinfeld channel WTF?? How many talking nob shows does it take to tell you how to plant azalias? And sportschannels?.. nothing says decline of the west faster than 24 hour TV pumping out golf or hockey or ' motor sports ' to a generation of fat, balding bast*rds flopped on their couches.. not one sees the irony in watching buff, hard athletes and determined individuals compete while they slough off a ton of protoplasm into the folds of the couch with their potato chip substitutes and dribble beer into the folds of their super stretch shorts as they hit the speed dial on their cell phones in response to the ads for the latest gadget that will make them ' perform ' just like the ' star 'on the boob tube...

    Every device on the market, every process on offer is now designed to ' save time ' improve efficiency ' and for what?

    What the hell happened to the utopian dream of a three day work week, time off to enjoy the environment? - oh, wait we've f**ked that up and doomed the race to extinction so it doesn't matter if we work an extra 50 hours this week for a multinational nameless conglomerate that won't be happy until every bit of useful material in the world has been sucked and plucked and tossed into the nearest open pit mine..

    oh.. you want a rant?.. I'll give you a rant..

    Hey! Nurse.. get away from that.. NO!!!.. don't put that needle into the drip!... oooh... hey.. give me back my Guinness.. the doctor said I could have....half...a...pint...a...da.....

  6. 8O :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: you feel better for that Rocket?

    All points taken, and Breakfast TV, I'm not half century plus and I remember when we didn't have morning TV and people did other things and not just sit on their ARRSE's all day in a semi-media induced-coma....

  7. In my second childhood. Still outmarch out.... what was it again? Hate these trick questions.
  8. AND another thing!

    GAP years. WTF!

    When I was studying you had your holiday between school and Uni and that was a workfest to get enough cash gathered together to go to ABC books in Glasgow and hunt for the required reading list (praying you'd get a semi decent copy with course notes in it and not have to pop for a new one), my grant JUST covered my accomodation and I HAD to work to survive.

    GAP year was what happened if you couldn't afford to move on to the next year, it wasn't a holiday, it was a fuffing financial disaster!

  9. I miss they days when TV stations actually signed off.. you got a blurry, scratchy patriotic version of the national anthem and then a test pattern with the station call sign and a sleep inducing low pitched whine that lulled you into a deep trance..a bit later they added those nifty colour bars that the beer made dance in time to the drone of the beep...could watch that for hours, but it always made me drowsy, best soporiphic in the world...

    Now you can't flip through the multiverse without being blinded by Dr. Phil's bald pate.. and the only channel that guarantees a good sleep is the Parliamentary Channel...
  10. As a 47 yr old this is my list today

    1 Rights????, what happened to responsibilities
    2 PC
    3 Telemarketing, feck off and leave me alone
    4 Service in shops. Today I attempted to buy a sandwich, the assistant, I thought they were called that as they are there to assist, took the pack scanned it, then her 'manager' interupted her discussing next weeks rota, I waited 1.45 mins and walked off.
    5 Packaging
    6 Waiters, I thought they we called that as they wait on people. Feck off they are called that because you wait for them.
    7 Supermarket pubs. They are not pubs, they are plastic drinking holes for people with no personality and no ambition to get one.
    8 The Americanisation of my culture. Feck off with your gansta names, hoodies, baseball fecking caps, and everything else.
    9 The dumbing down of the BBC
  11. Cutaway

    Cutaway LE Reviewer

    Can she get any dumber ?
  12. 1. UK Immigration
    2. Chav Culture
    3. Weatherspoon Pub's.
    4. The potrayel of Women as pure sexual objects in FHM, Loaded etc.....Yeah right!!
    5. Fat birds wearing any article of clothing 4 sizes below that of their actual Size!!!
  13. its the 21st century were is my robot, flying car and laser gun.Paperless
    office land of leisure ? Thats what tommorow world promised me when i was young .What have i got organic food i dont want a maggoty dirt covered vegtable i want food pills .
    This future is shit .

  14. celebrities i missed of fecking celebrities. Not your real celebs like jagger, stewart et al, but these mind numbing cnuts whose only claim to fecking fame is being a fecking knobhead on a fecking tv show for 4 weeks, feck off. and as much as I enjoy the sluttinesss of the titmuss she can feck off as well, celeb??? feck off and get a fecking career. The same as those fecking judges on comic relief fame fecking house who the feck are they to tell the likes of Ade Edmonson that his performance is below par, who the feck are they where the feck do they come from fecking fecking cnuts.

    and I am not happy with them either
  15. RTFQ


    Did someone say Rant?

    I'm less than 30, but I want to put my mess tin on the trangia on behalf of the younger generations.

    We ain't in government
    We don't make education policy
    Our kids (if we have them) are likely to be a maximum of 5 years old. If we've fcuked them up it doesn't show yet. They're certainly not hanging around wilkinsons wearing burberry caps.
    When the curtain fell and we had a chance to start doing things properly for once, we were around 10-12.
    None of us drive a fecking Land Cruiser or Humvee around the streets of London.
    We never kidded ourselves that the 60's provided us some sort of social/cultural blueprint or that some sort of utopia could be generated through being nice, having inumerable rights and voting for personalities (thus distracting us from reality and allow the real cnuts to get in power and feck things up). When we were teenagers we had Jive Bunny and the Mastermixers and KLF, we knew it was all a p1ss take.
    Marketing strategy is dictated by fat middle aged men hoping to retire early.
    Okay, the Crazy frog thing, really really sorry about that.

    I get a bit tired of you old gits knocking everyone else down, relatively speaking I've only just recently worked out what my genitals are for and how to use cutlery in a restaurant properly, I've not had chance to really feck up anything of importance yet. You want to rant, look in to your own callsign first.

    Apologies to the proper young sprogs for speaking on your behalf, but i figured you'd either be too busy daisy-chaining each other, happy-slapping grannies or taking on the rozzers with your hoodies and replica firearms to bother responding. Besides, No 1 ndrstnz txt spk on ere innit.