Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by MakaPaka, Sep 19, 2009.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. Today I had the pleasure of beating Dale twice, at bowling!

    However whilst we were there we both remarked on the strangest of things. Wandering about the bowling alley, quite conspiciously, was a middle aged man with messy hair, and his arm in a sling, wearing a leather jacket.

    I hear you ask 'What's wrong with that?', or course I agree that there is no law against being a minger and wandering aimlessly around a bowling alley (after all I was with the biggest minger in the world), you have to ask, 'Why is this guy wandering around a collection of childrens parties?'. He had one arm in a sling and the other hand in his "Farah" trousers. It wasn't a pretty sight.

    And to be truthful, no one challenged him, except for Dale muttering 'Pervert' as he walked by. (to be honest I thought she was talking to me!).

    Our curiosity getting the better of us, we followed him in to the car park, and had a riot laughing at him peering into people's cars! And then limp off to Tescos, no doubt to lick magazines (as I'm assured the mentally challenged do). Slug was that distraught, she couldn't even speak for about 1 minute and just kept saying "Did you see that? Did you f(ucking see that? The dirty pervert".

    There really are some strange ones about..........................
    • Funny Funny x 1
  2. Fecking pervs get everywhere. Did he have the greasy hair and the nonce specs that they all seem to have?
  3. Do you know him? He was a right horror. Even I was repulsed. There were loads of kids running round having parties and stuff, and he was just mingling with them. Dirty horrible bastard.

    He was either grooming, or was after my curly chips, and he wasn't having any of them. Dirty bastard.
  4. From the sound of Makas description, he fits the bill of the perv. They usually have the following:

    1. Shite hair
    2. Shite polyester clothing
    3. Bad hygeine
    4. Specs that can only be obtained in the third world
    5. Flakey skin
    6. Froth at the side of the mouth

    Swine, the lot of them. You should have tripped him up and dropped a heavy bowling bowl on his fecking head.
  5. dont forget the long coat. 9 times out of 10 people are naked under those.
  6. How do you expect me to bowl with my arm in a sling,the car windows needed a good licking though
  7. Down to a tee mate, down to a tee. He wasn't even with anyone. Dirty Bastard.

    Oh, and it was the bowling alley in Ely near Tesco if anyone wants to come for a visit next week.

    The dirty bastard. I might take my "dinner party" guests there next week to try and spot him again. I'm sure the sight of Fwuffy, KP and Womps coming after him with machetes will deter him from this sort of thing again.
  8. Not this one. You could see (and smell) the Oxfam clothes that his Mum bought for him during the heady days of the 1970s.

    I have had a thought, was that a false arm? Which begs the question, what was he doing with the real one?
  10. I thought this thread was going in a different direction. :D
  11. Calm your jets Tiger :wink:
  12. To be honest, so did I. But here we are.......................................
  13. Tell the truth, he knocked you back and now you're stalking him :wink:
  14. Sat nav fcuked again?
  15. Thing is, that's why a lot of bowling alleys have at least one security bod lurking about these days, to keep an eye out for dirty buggers like that.