Greeting cards

ancienturion

LE
Book Reviewer
#1
I don't know if these have been around before so here you are.

Ever wondered what happens when Hallmark writers are having a bad day writing cards........
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My tire was thumping.
I thought it was flat

When I looked at the tire...
I noticed your cat.

Sorry!
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Heard your wife left you,
How upset you must be.

But don't fret about it...

She moved in with me.
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Looking back over the years
That we've been together,

I can't help but wonder...

"What the hell was I thinking?"
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Congratulations on your wedding day!

Too bad no one likes your husband.
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How could two people as beautiful as you

Have such an ugly baby?
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I've always wanted to have
Someone to hold,
Someone to love.

But after having met you ...
I've changed my mind.
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I must admit, you brought Religion into my life.

I never believed in Hell until I met you.
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As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am...

That you're not here to ruin it for me.
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Congratulations on your promotion.
Before you go...

Would you like to take this knife out of my back?

You'll probably need it again.
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Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!

(Available only in Tennessee , Kentucky, West Virginia, some parts of Norfolk and the Scottish isles )
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Happy birthday! You look great for your age.

Almost Lifelike!
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When we were together,
You always said you'd die for me.

Now that we've broken up,
I think it's time you kept your promise.
-------------------------------------------------------------------We have been friends for a very long time.

let's say we stop?
-------------------------------------------------------------------
I'm so miserable without you

it's almost like you're here.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.

Did you ever find out who the father was?
-------------------------------------------------------------------
 
M

Mark The Convict

Guest
#3
It truly is dire, that volume of doggerel.

I've thought of much better whilst sat on the boggerel.
 
#4
One for a Wedding card:

"Today's the day,
tonight's the night,
We've shot the Stork
so you'll be all right"
 

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