Greenpeace Sex Guide

#1
Whilst searching for midget porn I found these helpful hints on their website. (http://www.greenpeace.org/international/news/eco-sex-guide)

1. Turn off the lights. We all have to do our part to stop climate change, energy reduction and energy efficiency are an important part of changing our energy culture. If you want to see your partner, or what you are doing, have sex during the day.

2. Passion for fruit? If you like to use produce to get the blood boiling, make sure it is GE-free. There have not been enough studies on genetically engineered foods to know what the effects on our diets will be, let alone the affects of using it for more intimate activities.

3.Oysters and other shellfish can be potent aphrodisiacs, but our oceans are being destroyed at an unprecedented rate - we need to stop plundering for pleasure. Instead you can support sustainable community-based operations in the Amazon rainforest choosing from two popular and plentiful herbal and fruit drinks, guaraná and caju, for more than just a clean conscience.

4. Is your yard a safe place to do the deed? Forget about the nosy neighbours, are you using pesticides and chemical fertilisers on your lawn and garden? Would you really want to set your bare bottom on weed killer? Make the switch to natural fertilisers and pest management, and take a roll in the hay.

5. Forget the fossil fuel based lubricants like petroleum jelly! Esso's screwing the planet, but you don't have to.

6. Have you got something more than a good time up your sleeve. Could it be polyvinyl chloride? Ditch the PVC and vinyl accessories for your playtime. The production of PVC creates and releases one of the most toxic chemicals - dioxin. You also don’t want to be sucking on that stuff. The use of PVC in young children’s toys has already been banned in many countries. Instead, opt for accessories made from natural substances like rubber or leather.

7. Helping the planet can be an arousing activity. Soap up together in the shower or bath to save water and create passion for more than the environment. More than one billion people do not have access to clean water, it is a luxury, and should definitely be shared with a friend.

8. Ok, I’m not sure what you would use them for, never done so myself, ahem, but if you wanted some paddles for something other than rowing, please, for god’s sake, make sure they are made from sustainably harvested timber. Look for timber, paddles, whatever, certified by the only internationally recognised ecological forest certification organisation, the Forest Stewardship Council, or FSC.

9. Role playing games can be fun as long as both partners are consenting and comfortable with the boundaries. So if you and your partner want to dress up and play "George Bush and Corporate America at the Earth Summit" or other S&M style games, agree on what's permissible and what's not up front. And remember that games - like fantasies - are not real life.

10. Make love, not war.

Now, far from dismissing this as self-righteous, patronising, arrogant and infantile, I leave it to my fellow arrsers to assert as to whether there are any salient points to be gleaned from these handy tips.
 
#2
Well, number 10's right out for a start.

And weedkiller on your bare arrse? Just the thing to revive a jaded sexual palete.

If you need me I'll be in the shed...
 
#3
Eco warriors with a sense of humour? Now there's a first. Tongue lodged firmly in cheek there I feel...
 
#7
Greenpeace rules (Arrse version):

1: Getting a lass drunk is fair game, but using Canadian Club is offensive to fur seals.

2: Doing her up the wrong 'un will help protect the Ozone layer for a short time at least.

3: Not many vibrators are energy efficient, so use a popsicle instead and the shivering will have the same effect.

4: Recycle your condoms - turn them inside out and shake the fcuk out of them. (Note: turning ribbed condoms inside out means they are ribbed - for YOUR pleasure)

5: Save the whales - for last orders. No point going fat early.

6: If you're into leather, you're perpetuating the animal cruelty industry. Just fcuk a cow instead.

7: Rohypnol was tested on animals - use chloroform instead.



5:
 
#10
Blue_On_You said:
Whilst searching for midget porn I found these helpful hints on their website. (http://www.greenpeace.org/international/news/eco-sex-guide)

1. Turn off the lights. We all have to do our part to stop climate change, energy reduction and energy efficiency are an important part of changing our energy culture. If you want to see your partner, or what you are doing, have sex during the day.

2. Passion for fruit? If you like to use produce to get the blood boiling, make sure it is GE-free. There have not been enough studies on genetically engineered foods to know what the effects on our diets will be, let alone the affects of using it for more intimate activities.

3.Oysters and other shellfish can be potent aphrodisiacs, but our oceans are being destroyed at an unprecedented rate - we need to stop plundering for pleasure. Instead you can support sustainable community-based operations in the Amazon rainforest choosing from two popular and plentiful herbal and fruit drinks, guaraná and caju, for more than just a clean conscience.

4. Is your yard a safe place to do the deed? Forget about the nosy neighbours, are you using pesticides and chemical fertilisers on your lawn and garden? Would you really want to set your bare bottom on weed killer? Make the switch to natural fertilisers and pest management, and take a roll in the hay.

5. Forget the fossil fuel based lubricants like petroleum jelly! Esso's screwing the planet, but you don't have to.

6. Have you got something more than a good time up your sleeve. Could it be polyvinyl chloride? Ditch the PVC and vinyl accessories for your playtime. The production of PVC creates and releases one of the most toxic chemicals - dioxin. You also don’t want to be sucking on that stuff. The use of PVC in young children’s toys has already been banned in many countries. Instead, opt for accessories made from natural substances like rubber or leather.

7. Helping the planet can be an arousing activity. Soap up together in the shower or bath to save water and create passion for more than the environment. More than one billion people do not have access to clean water, it is a luxury, and should definitely be shared with a friend.

8. Ok, I’m not sure what you would use them for, never done so myself, ahem, but if you wanted some paddles for something other than rowing, please, for god’s sake, make sure they are made from sustainably harvested timber. Look for timber, paddles, whatever, certified by the only internationally recognised ecological forest certification organisation, the Forest Stewardship Council, or FSC.

9. Role playing games can be fun as long as both partners are consenting and comfortable with the boundaries. So if you and your partner want to dress up and play "George Bush and Corporate America at the Earth Summit" or other S&M style games, agree on what's permissible and what's not up front. And remember that games - like fantasies - are not real life.

10. Make love, not war.

Now, far from dismissing this as self-righteous, patronising, arrogant and infantile, I leave it to my fellow arrsers to assert as to whether there are any salient points to be gleaned from these handy tips.
Leather Johnnies? :?
 

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