Green Aliens may launch pre-emptive attack on Earth

#2
Wibble wibble wibble clutch at straws wibble.

Even IF the militant arm of some alien Greenpeace noticed slightly raised CO2 levels in our atmosphere, they'd be enlightened enough to know it meant bollocks all. The massive levels of short half-life radionucleides and decay products from transuranium elements might be a tad more worrying......
 

FORMER_FYRDMAN

LE
Book Reviewer
#4
I think it's one of their more balanced conclusions.
 
#5
don't worry... Capt. Jean Luc Piccard and the crew of the Starship 'USS Enterprise' will be back o help us all out....... mind you, i really must stop having late night 'lock ins' a the 'Green Dragon' every evening.... Matron is complaining about the states I come back... it disrupts the orgies being held by all the other old Dears at 'Happy Valley' Old People Home....


Oops, so sorry... was this supposed to be a serious piece of Journalism...... Hmmmm?
 
#7
If they show up I'll give them a bit of

"Klaatu barada nikto!"
 
#9
And just how would they destroy mankind without devastating a good chunk of the planet they're wiping us out to save?
 
#11
They are coming to save us,,,,Hurrah for the little greenies...............
 

FORMER_FYRDMAN

LE
Book Reviewer
#12
And just how would they destroy mankind without devastating a good chunk of the planet they're wiping us out to save?
Unlimited alcohol and legions of dirty women, with a specific 'kill team' for Cliff Richard. Indeed, looking at Russia, we may already be under attack.
 
#15
Who said they were trying to save the planet? Maybe they have a bomb that only kills humans!
Then I hope we'd fire off a few hundred nukes just out of badness before they get us all :)
 

FORMER_FYRDMAN

LE
Book Reviewer
#17

Wordsmith

LE
Book Reviewer
#18
One wonders what strange exotic substances they're imbibing.

Aliens.jpg

For example:

- ET eat us: yeah, right. So its not more cost effective to terraform a planet in their own solar system.
- To improve the galactic infrastructure. I guess they've been reading the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, cos that's why the Earth was destroyed in the novel.
- Act of incompetence: maybe, if they're that incompetent, they'd have trouble getting here in the first place.
- Computer virus: got to be a bloody good virus to infect all computers on earth.

I've got an alternative theory. This paper is part of Earth's defense mechanism. Aliens read it and promptly die laughing, thus removing them as a threat.

Wordsmith
 

Bouillabaisse

LE
Book Reviewer
#19
Then I hope we'd fire off a few hundred nukes just out of badness before they get us all :)
You mean perform a final act of destructive madness, thus proving they were right to wipe us out? Far better to go out collectively saying "We're praying that god will forgive you, as we have already done." Their society will crumble under the collective guilt as they wonder if they've done the right thing until in a final act of deperate atonement they nuke themselves out of existence
 
#20
You mean perform a final act of destructive madness, thus proving they were right to wipe us out? Far better to go out collectively saying "We're praying that god will forgive you, as we have already done." Their society will crumble under the collective guilt as they wonder if they've done the right thing until in a final act of deperate atonement they nuke themselves out of existence
Or just say "******* pansy assed humans, deserved everything they got. Shee-it"

Liberal translation using the Hollywood/ET translation tool.
 
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