Greatest Conquest?

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Squiggers, Apr 18, 2009.

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  1. Another forum that I am on had an old thread (like 5 years) on this very subject bumped back to relevance. Thought it would provide a few giggles here too.

    By sexual conquest I include the Attila the Hun type sexual conquest, but I also mainly mean your biggest achievement like sleeping with someone famous (although its probably a sexwalt attempt), sleeping with family members or multiple partners, banging your best friends wife, etc. Whatever you perceive to be your peak.

    Let the lies commence.... :twisted:
  2. Consider my peak Squiggers? I have yet to reach that mythical I hope.

    I was going to give you a tale about a NAAFI bird but they are ten a penny.
  3. Hmm, thats a point, most people would hope to think they haven't reached their peak. God hopes i ain't as of yet, or that would be rather...depressing....

    Okay, what your peak is, up to the present point in time?

    Christ, I'm beginning to sound like a rite old pervert here... Worth it if theres enough amusing stories out of this though. :p
  4. Having been married for twenty years,my conquests stopped twenty years ago.
  5. and if that's a pic of your wifes arse who'd be suprised. Congrats I only just realised the benefits of fidelity
  6. Thanks Baz.Obviously that is her arrse.Face like a Bulldog chewing a wasp though!But what can you do? can't live with them,can't shoot them.
  7. Mongo

    Mongo LE Reviewer

    Ah classic BOBFOC, unlucky..
  8. An extra from Grange Hill at a wedding in NI, I was only 17 and fell in lust immediately, only to be turfed out of her room at stupid O clock with a promise of ill ring you !

    The daughter of a major shareholder of Heinz in Seaford who had a flid hand, a little mess of wrongness where fingers were supposed to be but with a little pointy nail protruding from the top ! Did the nasty on a black leather couch in the middle of summer in a conservatory ! Ive had easier beastings !

    Thailand '99, the other half's bendy sister on a balmy night when every other family member was zonked out after a heavy day on the lash ! (and again on a mutual dog walk round Dovestones Resovoir !)

    Currently slowly working on the Phillipino wife of a sh*t arrse unit head at work who layed off 15 lads as a cost saving exercise then banked a massive bonus for his endeavours....
  9. The married daughter of the SSM of 3 Sqdn of a certain Signals Trg Regt in Catterick Garrison. He was asleep upstairs (pished again) and I was supposed to be doing his garden, but I did his daughter instead. She made me tea and sarnies afterwards, a very considerate lady.

    Actually when I think about it, it was probably her conquering me rather than the other way round. :D