Great Pokey Idiosyncrasies and Quirks

Discussion in 'The Intelligence Cell' started by pombsen-armchair-warrior, Dec 21, 2008.

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  1. Many, many years ago, as a result of some minor(ish) misdemeanours in the Paderborn area, I found myself a guest of various Regimental Guardrooms, in particular the 45/25 and QRIH nicks in Barker Barracks.

    Two features made these particular establishments stand out.

    One was the brass 'smoking line' in the 45/25 nick. This line served two purposes. Firstly it delineated the furthest a guest could venture from his private accommodation, into the main guardroom, without incurring the wrath of Sgt F*y and Bdr St***es; and secondly it was the point at which one consumed one's 2 x cigarettes per day, standing rigidly to attention on said line, whilst occasionally raising the cigarette to one's lips, in a quasi-saluting motion.

    The second was the wooden pillows thoughtfully provided by mine host in the QRIH nick. No problems with washing bed-linen, and it never went out of shape (although one's head did after the first couple of nights).

    Do these type of idiosyncrasies still exist?
  2. Wooden pillows???

    No way!!!!!
  3. Wood, you had wood. You soft, spoiled, namby-pamby puff. It was granite in my day, and not smoothed down either. If you wanted it polished you did with your head.
  4. Must have been ooooo late seventies :? before we shipped off to Wilts' finest dump. Just reminded of the unfortunate (and not happy) loss of one of our Muckers spending his last in the Cells at that Guardroom.
  5. Haha yeah I can remember the smoking line stood at attention smoking or if you were a non smoker a square of chocolate, just a square.
    Also remember having to bull up respirators then doing the assault course bolloko with said ressie on in the middle of a freezing cold German december, finally getting sent to Collie was a dream come true after the guardroom.
    Looking back its funny now but at the time it was a different matter, I wonder if that stuff still goes on today ?
  6. Black punishment has a terrible propensity for going wrong. We of the older generation were probably toughened up a bit, unless of course it broke us and we topped ourselves in the cells...personally I was never locked up (but had an interview without coffee once) but I made sure that my soldiers were not brutalized if they were.

    There was a Queens Regiment CSM whose CM I attended as an observer. The things he did were nothing more than sexual depravity masquerading as discipline - it was like listening to a description of F1 management party. He had obviously been a good soldier but when he found huimself at depot, he was awash with power and just lost the "bubble of decency".
  7. Smoking stood to attention..... you don't know you're born!

    22 Engineer Regt nick, you were allowed your 2 fags a day, but you had to mark time at SUS pace outside your cell as you smoked them (thighs being raised paralell to the ground, foot hanging naturally underneath etc etc) and hand the buts back to the RP when finished, all that gasping for breath helped you smoke the tabs in record time and ensured massive head spins from minor nicotene poisoning.

    Other little beauties there included bulling your boot polish tin back to silver, aswell as your toothpaste tube (metal not plastic obviously) and being issued your very own galvanised steel dustbin which you had to turn into a gleaming cylindrical mirror during your visit.

    They had wooden pillows here aswell, not that you slept on the concrete slab they had for beds, oh no, that's where your 1157 layout lived, SUS slept on the floor next to it.

    SUS..SUS Shaaaaaaaan... step of to my timing quick maaaaaaaarch.

    leftrightleftrightleftrightleftrightleftrightgetyourshagginarmsupyouorriblecuuuuntleftrightleftrightmaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaark..... TIMEAAAAH.

    No one saunters quite as slowly as an RP screw catching up to a gaggle of SUS hes got marking time and sweating like rapists just so they can get to breakfast.