Grandslam?

#1
Evening chaps!

I saw that book by Mr Preece the other day in one of my local bookshops; I understand that there’s been some debate on here about it so I simply had to find out for myself what all the fuss was about.

I must say it makes for some marvellous reading! In fact I’m sure certain areas of prose are the finest I’ve ever read! There is one particular paragraph that springs to mind, it is near the start & describes the obscure & delightful art of ‘grandslam’. As soon as I read it, I knew the entire act was something of exquisite taste.

Whilst at a Christmas function a Marine of outstanding gentility decided to surprise a young lady with an act of kindness which will ever do credit to the Royals. Whilst she went to the bar he proceeded to poo in her handbag. 8O He then zipped it back up & placed it on the table. When the young lady returned she went to fetch something from her handbag, she placed her hand inside with quite horrifying results. :lol:

For the literature fans amongst you, I’m sure you can all attest that Mr Coward got it wrong! Surely it should have been called ‘The importance of being Preece?’ I imagine Mary Farquhar would have become quite brisk at such thoughts.

Has anyone ever witnessed the great act of ‘grandslam’? I’m almost inspired to try it myself sometime, maybe if I can get invited to one of those ‘wives club meetings’ :?

I have the honour to remain your most humble, loyal & obedient servant, &tc.

~D.C.
 
#3
I would have thought that taking a dump in a young ladies handbag was quite exciting actually!


~D.C.
 
#4
While I've not done THAT, I've had alot of good poo moments. Like the time my street was being torn up. Barstewards started @ 0600 each morning. So I and my loverly date, shat on our drunken hands (left, of course), and smeared the backhoe with such copious amounts of s.hit even we couldnt believe the mess we had made. We then wiped our hands off in the snow, and wiped clean with a divided pair of gitch I tore off my legs. It was AWESOME watching out the window in the morning! Well worth staying up!
 
#5
I later married and procreated with said loverly (she's Welsh...)
 
#6
Dashing_Chap said:
Evening chaps!

I saw that book by Mr Preece the other day
I had the misfortune of reading it the other week. What a load of old crap. Chuffed to fcuk I borrowed it and hadn't shelled out good cash for it.
 
#7
Flagrantviolator said:
I later married and procreated with said loverly (she's Welsh...)
The young lady took part in the poo smear campaign too? How becoming! I thought only Fraulines did that sort of thing. Does she have a sister :?

~D.C.
 
#8
GRANDSLAM - usually RE slang in brevco for a bridge complete! Equally known for a soldiers ability to both puke, crap and p1ss himself at the same time! Is this in the ARRSEpedia?
 
#9
Dashing_Chap said:
Flagrantviolator said:
I later married and procreated with said loverly (she's Welsh...)
The young lady took part in the poo smear campaign too? How becoming! I thought only Fraulines did that sort of thing. Does she have a sister :?

~D.C.
Indeed she does, my friend!
 
#10
Pooing in a handbag although impressive, dosen't constitue a grandslam!
A grandslam is something of legend that tends to get done whilst in a uber pissed state, it is the act of p*ssing, sh*tting and puking at the same time!
Unfortunately it is something i have never managed to achieve!
 

hogg

Old-Salt
#11
Have I missed something?
In my era, the Grandslam was awarded when your mucker came back from the local so beered up that during the night, he shat, p1ssed and honked up in bed.
Many a stained suitcase was testimony to swamping, but the Grandslam was a much more more mythical attainment. (Well it was in the Signals!)
 
#12
And here was I thinking Grandslam was a sexual term describing what might happen if a particularly eager young lady obliged you in three different ways during the course of one session. If that is not a grandslam, what is it?
 
#13
Flagrantviolator said:
Dashing_Chap said:
Flagrantviolator said:
I later married and procreated with said loverly (she's Welsh...)
The young lady took part in the poo smear campaign too? How becoming! I thought only Fraulines did that sort of thing. Does she have a sister :?

~D.C.
Indeed she does, my friend!

Give her my name and number then, what were you thinking, not introducing us earlier 8O
waster :wink:
 
#14
a grandslam is what we,ll have by next saturday night!!! 8)
 
#16
as i said cymru am byth!!!!! :clap: :pissed: grandslam next week!!!
 
#17
Sorry jibman(?!). I don't speak Welsh. In fact, I can't believe the Welsh have not yet been exterminated by more advanced races of people.Short, thieving, nonsense-muttering barstewards. Divorced her sharpish
 
#18
Flagrantviolator said:
Sorry jibman(?!). I don't speak Welsh. In fact, I can't believe the Welsh have not yet been exterminated by more advanced races of people.Short, thieving, nonsense-muttering barstewards. Dicorced her sharpish
can,t speak welsh!!!!!you can,t write english either you sorry scrote! :wink:
 
#19
The young lady took part in the poo smear campaign too? How becoming! I thought only Fraulines did that sort of thing. Does she have a sister :?


Indeed she does, my friend![/quote]


Give her my name and number then, what were you thinking, not introducing us earlier 8O
waster :wink:[/quote]

Alas, she lives in Canada, is a FemiNaziVegetEsbian, and is shaped like aa pear.PM me with your info, I'll do my best.
 
#20
jibman said:
Flagrantviolator said:
Sorry jibman(?!). I don't speak Welsh. In fact, I can't believe the Welsh have not yet been exterminated by more advanced races of people.Short, thieving, nonsense-muttering barstewards. Dicorced her sharpish
can,t speak welsh!!!!!you can,t write english either you sorry scrote! :wink:
just call me next time you want me to edit your native tongue!! :D
 

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