Grab yer SLRs and fire up the Dakota - no wonder Tropper's been quiet of late.

#1
Calling all Arrsers - to arms! To arms!


From the Torygraph: British pensioner jailed with Taliban after arrest on Pakistan's Afghan border - Telegraph

A 70-year-old British man is being held in one of Pakistan’s most notorious prisons alongside suspected members of the Taliban after being arrested in the country’s lawless tribal regions, close to the border with Afghanistan.

Pakistani Army soldiers on patrol in South-Wairistan tribal region near the Afghan border Photo: EPA Local authorities told The Daily Telegraph they were investigating what Nicholas Bain was doing in such a dangerous area known for its Taliban and al Qaeda presence.

“He had entered Pakistan from Afghanistan via the Torkham border crossing. We suspect that he is working for a British intelligence agency,” said an official of the Khyber Agency.

However, Mr Bain has told his interrogators he was travelling through the region to research a book.

A police official said he was arrested near Landi Kotal, where a fort guards the historic Khyber Pass, when he was unable to produce valid travel documents. He has been held at Peshawar Central Jail since his arrest last week.


Doubt the Outrage bus has the range....
 
#2
I'm ready,anybody got a spare puttee I can only find one,and can we be back in time for the Vicars bingo afternoon on Thursday?



Dont panic Tropper we'll save yer old mucker
 
#3
Get me out lads. The internet speed in this jail is cr@p and all the porn sites are blocked.

All I did was pop in to McDonalds, have a bite, and compliment them by saying "That fillet o' fish was good enough for Allah." Now the buggers want to get me stoned - but I don't take drugs.
 
#4
I'm ready,anybody got a spare puttee I can only find one,and can we be back in time for the Vicars bingo afternoon on Thursday?



Dont panic Tropper we'll save yer old mucker
Puttees? Gaiters surely you sprog, or are we talking about the ones that come up to your knees?:)
 
#6
I've arranged a contact in Mombassa to sell us several dozen crates of brand-new AK-74s, Glock 17s and a rocket-launcher thingy.

We then swap these up the Khyber for locally made Enfields, Webleys and a 25 pounder and press on.

Anyone got the number of a decent pith-helmet supplier?
 
#7
I'll supply the A41 and Mapco !
 
#9
I've arranged a contact in Mombassa to sell us several dozen crates of brand-new AK-74s, Glock 17s and a rocket-launcher thingy.

We then swap these up the Khyber for locally made Enfields, Webleys and a 25 pounder and press on.

Anyone got the number of a decent pith-helmet supplier?
Which one of you is going to act like the crazy priest and his poor servant as you traverse the khyber pass?
 
#10
I'm game, I'm only 34 though so will have to play the Esposito role. Minus the round to the canister preferably
 
#11
I've arranged a contact in Mombassa to sell us several dozen crates of brand-new AK-74s, Glock 17s and a rocket-launcher thingy.

We then swap these up the Khyber for locally made Enfields, Webleys and a 25 pounder and press on.

Anyone got the number of a decent pith-helmet supplier?
Tropper will be working on an escape plan as we type,I bet he has an old Lybia map stashed on his person
 
#12
Can I wear me Kilt?
 
#13
Tropper will be working on an escape plan as we type,I bet he has an old Lybia map stashed on his person
I read that as labia map; an unwelcome mental image, I can assure you!
 
#15
"A 50-year-old American, Gary Faulkner, was deported in June after being arrested as he hiked towards the Afghan border. He was carrying a handgun and a sword and claimed to be on a solo mission to hunt and kill Osama bin Laden."

Awesome! And in the best Brit nutter tradition. Lets make him an honory (see what I did there?) Brit.

Anyway, Sluggo, can you bake a file with a cake in it so we can get Mr. Bain out and away.
 
#16
Guns? Guns be damned! A stout stick for yourself, copy of the King James Bible and a clicky bah for your water bearer. Smite them, hip and thigh, for they are but children.

If that fails, then a box of 1B1T
 

AlienFTM

MIA
Book Reviewer
#17
Mapco? Can we not go with Griddle? And I don't mean that new-fangled Universal Griddle.
 

AlienFTM

MIA
Book Reviewer
#18
Lets make him an honory (see what I did there?) Brit.
Misspelt honorary? Which even the Merkins manage to spell right as it happens.

Just remember, there is a word which is always spelt incorrectly, and that's "incorrectly".
 
#19
I have my uncle's 1940s vintage "Pashto for Officers" and its companion volume "Let's issue some orders in Urdu to Johnny foreigner". Can I run the interpreter cell? Jao and Imshi seem appropriate words according to the munshi who wrote these two culturally sensitive, diversity embracing tomes. While you consider my application, Acha khitmagar, whisky pani lejao! Burra peg!
 
#20
Surely this is a job for the 24th Foot and Mouth, otherwise known as the Devils in Skirts.
 

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