Government Workers...What Do They Look Like?

Discussion in 'The Intelligence Cell' started by walter_mitless, Jan 16, 2008.

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  1. Yes folks, roll up, roll up. What do the people you NEVER ever see, perhaps behind that Government letter , or perhaps THAT local Government ass on the phone.. look like? Those behind the decisions that really get your feckin Goat, what do they really look like?

    What does that person on the phone who knows you will never ever be allowed to see them, eat?, or do, or wear?

    They of course, as local and national authority decision makers, will most likely never be seen.

    The Decision Makers, Jobsworths, Office Wombles, Jobcentres, the Taxman, or perhaps the people who decide the amount you're NOT getting in your War Pension. The only limit to what they may look like, is your imagination.
  2. W_M,
    Unless you can afford a flight to India and visit "call centre valley" near Delhi, you'll never know. In 10 years of trying to sort out all the crap requiring "help" from a helpline, I've only ever spoken to one person in the least bit non-toad like.
    My Avatar is based on what I think they might look like......
  3. Staaken,
    Spooky, do you know me perchance?.
  4. As part of my titantic struggle with HMRC (now won :lol: ) at one point I made an appointment to discuss the issue face to face with the person who was "dealing" with the matter.

    I found myself facing not one but three gormless items who were clearly otherwise unemployable.

    The one who did most of the talking had a comedy Birmingham accent, wore pale blue trousers, a red shirt, sported a horrid beard and a hairstyle that denied the 1970's had ever ended. Finished his fashion crimes off with a pair of brown open toe sandals worn over buff coloured socks and a plastic digital watch that looked like it had fallen out of a packet of Cornflakes in 1990. I really did struggle not to laugh.

    The other two were little better. The older one looked like a porky middle aged matron from the waist up but had for some reason decided to wear skirt & shoes better suited to a working girl ready for a long night of trade on the streets. Net effect was horrible beyond words.

    The other was a cropped hair beanpole in clothes that made me for a moment think she was a young bloke until the truth dawned. But she was clearly the brains of the operation. Having hissed out one killer question ("Are you sure that is your current residential address?") she then spent most of the time looking out the window seeking further inspiration for the crushing question "When did you return to the UK?"

    Net result of that utter waste of time was an official complaint and letter to my MP.

    To be fair the lady who was then assigned to sort the mess out was capable and did so rather quickly. She also made it clear that in her view the quality of many HMRC staff is now very bad because they pay peanuts so get the dross, long standing employees are being treated like Sh1t and many simply have given up even pretending to care, if they ever did.
  5. Absolutely no comment whatsoever. Oh no, not from me, not rising to the bait :D

    Actually Blogg, you'd be surprised how many of still do care, I for one am genuinely glad you finally got things sorted out. There's not much of a dress code though, as you've found out!!

    By the way, I'm pretty dapper myself - short hair; black slip-on Italian loafers (a decent civvie shine); black trousers, pressed; black double-cuff shirt, pressed; no tie; silver cufflinks; black socks. A bit Johnny Cash, but there you go!
  6. Having been employed (I almost said worked) for the now defunct HM Customs and Excise (HMCE), I can say you were lucky to get a trio of the more intelligent and sartorially aware people who who are now on the staff of HMRC. To be honest, it is now a pantomime (oh no it isn't) since the amalgamation of the once proud HM Customs and Excise and the Inland Revenue(IR). There are still some highly intelligent, motivated and very keen members of staff but they are rapidly leaving and / or loosing heart after seeing what a mess the bean counters who have moved over from IR to take over what was purely HMCE functions and made a complete balls up. Imagine the Parachute Reg waking up one morning to find that all platoon, company and battallion commanders had been replaced by ACF or RAF Regt officers who do not want to listen to the advice of the sgts, WOs or anyone else because they know that the Paras have been doing it wrong for so many years.
  7. Government workers?.Surely shome oxymoron here?.
  8. That is hilarious! The lady who dealt with me suggested the problem was down to ex Customs staff taking over at a senior level and not understanding how wonderful the Inland Revenue was nor how it worked!

    Typical post merger culture clash not properly managed. No wonder the whole outfit is going belly up.
  9. Hah! I have been that government worker! I know exactly what you mean!

    A lot of them look like this....sometimes it seemed like a repository for lazy middle-aged women!


    Currently there is a particular type of character who thinks its their own little company and they are the boss....spouting out-of-date 90s management nonsense and coming up with ridiculous initiatives that cost more than they save. They usually clear out after a couple of years and get a similar job elsewhere, leaving others to clear up the mess!

    Some good people as well....usually fed up of years of banging head against wall trying to do a good job!
  10. Government worker? look in the mirror, if you see a soldier you have your answer.
  11. ask the soldier if he works for the government, and he tell you to fcuk off, then he works for the Queen.There is your true answer
  12. Boloxs, your paid by goverment, your equiped by goverment, and you are directed by goverment, so its pretty fair to say you are a goverment worker, i dont think liz has a lot to do with it
  13. ... and all recruited via Jobzilla no doubt.
  14. Count yourselves lucky that you don't work for an organisation that TUPE's in the feckers and then has to slowly purge them from the corporate headcount. About 10% are good eggs who relish the change and 90% are still expecting to pad around in carpet slippers whilst whinging that they'll never get their OBE now.
  15. Broadstairs Kent DHSS office yesteryear.

    A circular was issued for Executive Officers (a fancy title for a semiskilled clerk) to read and initial.

    Inadvertently a Clerical Officer (a less fancy title for a semi skilled clerk) read and initialled the circular.

    The Higher Executive Officer became very concerned. So he ordered the Clerical Officer to cross out her initials.

    Then the Senior Executive Officer became concerned because there should be no crossing out unless it is accompanied by the signed initials of the crosser out.

    So the Clerical Officer initialled her crossed out initials and all was well with the world.

    Meanwhile the IRA, based on an initial claim at that office, worked a 48 address multiple claim fraud ........