Goth Chicks - Correct Drill - Poll

The Undead Are Everywhere the Question Is How should We deal With Them?

  • Shag them, then kill them!

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Kill them, then shag them!

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Just kill them!

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Borrow their make-up and a trench coat!

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Total voters
    1
#1
I've been scrathching my head over how to deal with Goths for some time. Does anyone know the correct drill?
 
#3
Goth chicks

Pros: a dead (geddit?) cert for Daddy issues, so if you're closer to her Daddies age than her own you've got a hook.

also into shock value, in a dreary conformist manner, so portray yourself as 'other than mainstream' and you've got another. In their closeted little world goths themselves become the mainstream, so it's not too tough.

really just want a therapist, or failing that, someone who they can moan endlessly to about how miserable their existence is, so being able to pretend to listen is yet another hook. For God's sake don't actually listen, you'll be slashing your own wrists before she can do her own.

are desperate to be known as sexually adventurous, so challenge them a little, you'll have her begging for a donkey punch while wrapped in cellophane and singing la Cucaracha on her Grannies mobility scooter riding down high street in front of a chinese dragon parade in no time.


Cons: Come in 2 sizes - Winehouse slim or Goody chunky. So you either get cheeses grated on her ribcage or risk drowning in pasty white, flabby rolls.

Get horribly clingy when they realise you could be a further source of angst for them. The more you ignore them, the worse they get.

get black lipstick everywhere. Your knob will look like a liquorice roll. So will your dog's arrsehole if you play your cards right.

will often want to get their girl friend into a threeway - but it's always the fukk ugly one godammit.


Goths - great fun just don't ever tell them your real name or address.
 
#5


Kill them....Kill them all!!!!
 
#8
cernunnos said:
Bradstyley said:
LOL!!! Mutants! I was thinking more along this type of goth!

Where do you find them?

Providing strict discipline for discerning clientele at a reasonable rate at some of Britains more ...selective establishments ;-)!
 

Biped

LE
Book Reviewer
#9
I heard that simply beating them to death works - but make sure you're part of a pack of chavs when you do it.

I have to agree with Turbogoat - there's nothing so dreary, dull, tedious and bothersome than sticking around with a bint wot thrives off angst. Better to simply fcuk them and then kill them - especially when ignoring them just gives them food for their inner turmoil and has you up at A&E every five minutes while said undead get topped up with living juice, having spilled their own down the sink or bath along with their tears and tablets.
 

old_fat_and_hairy

LE
Book Reviewer
Reviews Editor
#10
Depends on which Goths one is talking about. The Germanic Goths, who were a warlike tribe, usually associated with 'The Vandals'.



Or, the modern day ones, the posing in bizarre clothing type,(not to be confused with R.A.F Regiment)
 

Attachments

old_fat_and_hairy

LE
Book Reviewer
Reviews Editor
#11
Or these.
 

Attachments

#12
Just tell them your a vampire, their into all that shite, strategical placement of Bram Stoker and Anne Rice novels around your gaff will have the required three B's effect! Means you will be expected to muff on rag week though, so be prepared to take one for the team.
 
#14
I have a definite weakness for skinny goth chicks. Formed my own pseudo-religion a few years ago,with me as the godhead obviously,just so I could eat more of the little darlins. And to be honest Ive never minded a bit of blood on my beard,so eating on rag week is never a problem. Wear your red wings with pride!
 
#15
Ruin them all. Simple as.
 
#18
Good dusting of flea powder before defiling them is required. Some of the buggers are pretty crusty.
 
#20
salforddude said:
I have a definite weakness for skinny goth chicks. Formed my own pseudo-religion a few years ago,with me as the godhead obviously,just so I could eat more of the little darlins. And to be honest Ive never minded a bit of blood on my beard,so eating on rag week is never a problem. Wear your red wings with pride!
That's made me feel slightly sick
 
Thread starter Similar threads Forum Replies Date
Harry_Boomers The NAAFI Bar 3
Exploding_Blancmange The Intelligence Cell 11
Trackpen Current Affairs, News and Analysis 8

Similar threads

Top