Goth Chicks - Correct Drill - Poll

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by cernunnos, Aug 29, 2008.

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  1. Shag them, then kill them!

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  2. Kill them, then shag them!

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  3. Just kill them!

    0 vote(s)
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  4. Just shag them!

    0.5%
  5. Borrow their make-up and a trench coat!

    0 vote(s)
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  1. I've been scrathching my head over how to deal with Goths for some time. Does anyone know the correct drill?
     
  2. Sympathetic_Reaction

    Sympathetic_Reaction LE Book Reviewer

    As long as the 'permenant' metalwork is limited then it's shagnasty all the way.

    S_R
     
  3. Goth chicks

    Pros: a dead (geddit?) cert for Daddy issues, so if you're closer to her Daddies age than her own you've got a hook.

    also into shock value, in a dreary conformist manner, so portray yourself as 'other than mainstream' and you've got another. In their closeted little world goths themselves become the mainstream, so it's not too tough.

    really just want a therapist, or failing that, someone who they can moan endlessly to about how miserable their existence is, so being able to pretend to listen is yet another hook. For God's sake don't actually listen, you'll be slashing your own wrists before she can do her own.

    are desperate to be known as sexually adventurous, so challenge them a little, you'll have her begging for a donkey punch while wrapped in cellophane and singing la Cucaracha on her Grannies mobility scooter riding down high street in front of a chinese dragon parade in no time.


    Cons: Come in 2 sizes - Winehouse slim or Goody chunky. So you either get cheeses grated on her ribcage or risk drowning in pasty white, flabby rolls.

    Get horribly clingy when they realise you could be a further source of angst for them. The more you ignore them, the worse they get.

    get black lipstick everywhere. Your knob will look like a liquorice roll. So will your dog's arrsehole if you play your cards right.

    will often want to get their girl friend into a threeway - but it's always the fukk ugly one godammit.


    Goths - great fun just don't ever tell them your real name or address.
     
  4. Batter their back doors in and spunk in their face is the SOP!!
     
  5. [​IMG]

    Kill them....Kill them all!!!!
     
  6. LOL!!! Mutants! I was thinking more along this type of goth!

    [​IMG]
     
  7. Where do you find them?
     

  8. Providing strict discipline for discerning clientele at a reasonable rate at some of Britains more ...selective establishments ;-)!
     
  9. Biped

    Biped LE Book Reviewer

    I heard that simply beating them to death works - but make sure you're part of a pack of chavs when you do it.

    I have to agree with Turbogoat - there's nothing so dreary, dull, tedious and bothersome than sticking around with a bint wot thrives off angst. Better to simply fcuk them and then kill them - especially when ignoring them just gives them food for their inner turmoil and has you up at A&E every five minutes while said undead get topped up with living juice, having spilled their own down the sink or bath along with their tears and tablets.
     
  10. old_fat_and_hairy

    old_fat_and_hairy LE Book Reviewer Reviews Editor

    Depends on which Goths one is talking about. The Germanic Goths, who were a warlike tribe, usually associated with 'The Vandals'.



    Or, the modern day ones, the posing in bizarre clothing type,(not to be confused with R.A.F Regiment)
     

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  11. old_fat_and_hairy

    old_fat_and_hairy LE Book Reviewer Reviews Editor

    Or these.
     

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  12. Just tell them your a vampire, their into all that shite, strategical placement of Bram Stoker and Anne Rice novels around your gaff will have the required three B's effect! Means you will be expected to muff on rag week though, so be prepared to take one for the team.
     

  13. ofah, can you post some more of these photo's please, I need to do some more err, research, yes thats what I need do, some more research before I can answer the poll honestly :D
     
  14. I have a definite weakness for skinny goth chicks. Formed my own pseudo-religion a few years ago,with me as the godhead obviously,just so I could eat more of the little darlins. And to be honest Ive never minded a bit of blood on my beard,so eating on rag week is never a problem. Wear your red wings with pride!
     
  15. BrunoNoMedals

    BrunoNoMedals LE Reviewer

    Ruin them all. Simple as.