GOT IT and excuse needed.

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Aunty Stella, Sep 25, 2005.

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  1. For a breif moment I had all top 20 posts in my name.

    What I need now is a good excuse for when I get up tomorrow and try to explain to Mrs Stella whay I got home 5.5 hours after I said I was going to and then spent an extra 2 hours on the laptop drinking her Bacardi and posting boll0cks on here.

    I have a good excuse for not joining her in bed straight away (rag week, what's the point?), but I'm struggling on the 5 and a half hours late one.

    Best excuses needed please
     
  2. Ord_Sgt

    Ord_Sgt RIP

    Tell her your mate hurt himself and you were with him at the hospital. You didn't ring because you didn't want to worry her then it was late and you didn't want to wake her. You drunk the bicardi because you needed to relax after the stressfull night.

    Job done.
     
  3. To go along with Ord Sgt, you couldn't ring as mobiles are not allowed to be used in hospitals.
    Can't think of any reasonable excuse for drinking the devils brew though. I take it you were out of beer?
     
  4. Tell her you were celebrating a birthday - 24 September....

    F. Scott Fitzgerald’s Birthday (1896). “Sometimes I wish I’d went through those good times stone cold sober so I could remember everything—but then again, if I ‘d been sober the times probably wouldn’t have been worth remembering.”
     
  5. Tell her you were making tender, affectionate deep love to me :D
     
  6. Tell her to mind her own business - you is the man. Then you would really need to go to the hospital prior to finding alternative accommodation.
     
  7. Tell her you were out shopping for a surprise present the reason you don’t have one is that for a woman of her beauty and class require a special gift not any old crap.
     
  8. Or do your usual trick and murder the kids pets? :D :D

    Slot the lurcher and I bet she won't even mention the night out
     
  9. dont you just love to see men squirm! Just tell her how it is! If the decorators were in (rag week) I am sure she was glad of having the bed to herself in any event and probably relieved. The only problem you may have is explaining drinking her barcardi so I suggest you go and get replacement now!
     
  10. Ha, did it.

    Turns out she had some girly cramp bought on by bleeding all over the place and went to bed at 10:30 :). Result, especially seen as she woke me up this morning saying "I went to bed at half ten, what time did you get in?". "About 11:30" says I, "saw you were asleep so I stayed up for a while and wathed the TV, beer had ran out so I had a Bacardi, bloody dog knocked the bottle over though"

    result :)
     
  11. At least she is somewhat understanding. I got home, forgot my key, bint was asleep - I slept on the doorstep. Nice.
     
  12. well done you!! You were probably stressing out that much about time you got in and thats why you ended up drinking the barcadi in first place - thinking of a reason! As it happens, your good wife felt bad about retiring early and not waiting up for you!
     
  13. You sly, smooth shitebag git :)
     
  14. Even I would believe that! :D

    Good drills AS, like the way you pawned the rum off on the dog.
     
  15. Your jealous corps...cause your wife knows goats don't drink rum :D