Got beaten up by a gang

Discussion in 'The ARRSE Hole' started by Carl_Sims, Oct 4, 2009.

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  1. Well I took a kicking, i'll admit. But I'm not embarrassed and i'm not ashamed. I was heavily outnumbered and I fought like a fucking spartan and went down like a warrior.

    It all happened Thursday evening. i went along to the local Games Workshop with my mate Stevie G (this is Steven Gaylard my mate, not Gerrard before you all take the piss). It was games night and there was a big tournement going on. I, being quite a good warhammer 40k player myself decided to take along my Ork army to do battle with. One thing I always like is how superior i feel in the games workshop. I am always the biggest and hardest looking guy there and this night I went along in my bodybuilding vest to intimidate the other player (who was playing Eldar). After a few turns he killed my Ork warlord and there was a dispute over rules and line of sight. This nerdy little kid I was playing was a right arrogant prick and kept singing "I'm sooo dangerous" every time he threw the dice and going "boom boom pow" whenever he rolled a six ... the cunt.

    When he decided he killed my ork warlord I lost the plot and swept all the miniatures off the table with my arms and sent all the stuff flying around the store. People went ballistic as I'd done a lot of damage. The staff were shouting at me and the kid I was playing looked mortified as his Eldar army was almost entirely broken. The staff were shouting at me to leave and this kid had tears in his eyes and screaming at me to pay for the damage i made. Without thinking I swung a punch and hit him right in the nose. Blood went everywhere and his gay little glasses flew off his stupid gay face.

    After that the store erupted into violence. The staff and hobbyists were going mad swinging at me and I was swinging back and dropping nerd after nerd with fuck off huge bombs from each hand. But then one nerd must of thrown a very large metal miniature of a Greater Daemon of Khorne that hit me at the base of the back of the skull. I went down dazed and fought my hardest to retain my consiousness. But the kicks and stamps from everyone in the store were coming in constantly and my body was going through hell. I lost four teeth my cheekbone was shattered and my ribs were cracked. My face was fucked and eventually I passed out.

    I woke up face down on the floor outside the store as a team of paramedics were aiding me. I was dead pissed off still, and even though I was extremely injured I tried to break free so I could attack the store again. I punched a female paramedic that was trying to restrain me in the face to get free and was then held down and restrained until the police were called.

    I was given medical attention for my wounds and then taken to the cells for my assault on the paramedic. In the morining I was let out on bail and was still fuming and wanted revenge. I got a taxi from the station, covered in cuts, bruises, blood, dirt and torn clothes up to town where the games workshop was. I bought 6 cans of tenants super and got paraletic on them. Then when I was all fired up I marched back down to the games workshop shouting and screaming. It was quite early and there were just a couple of staff in there and a family sat there painting models.

    I charged at the store from over the road and threw a half drunk can through the door. Unfortunately I slipped cos I was drunk and fell face down over the curb which gave a member of staff enough time to lock the shop door. So I started kicking and punching the glass front of the store. I found a few rocks nearby and started pelting the glass with rocks. It cracked all the glass but it didn't go through properly. I picked up a bin and threw that at the door too and grabbed an umbrella off an old woman and started smashing the door with that as well. I was kicking and kicking and throwing everything I could at the glass window and door of the shop. And just as the glass properly went through I was tackled from behind by two police officers and arrested again and taken straight back to the cells.

    After spending 16 hours in the cells a second time I was finally let free due to a very good solicitor and was told I was in extremely bad trouble now and that i may even be lookign at prison. Therefore I have to remain on my best behaviour until I go back and make bail on 19th october.

    So all in all, yeah I was knocked out and yeah I took a kicking but fuck me did I cause some damage on the way and let it never be said that Carl Sims doesn't go down without a fight. That shop probably is in mortal terror of the day I return ... and trust me, I WILL return!
  2. It's a shame they didn't kill you.
  3. FFS violent war gamers, what next, airsofters armed with real guns,baynots,ect GET A LIFE
  4. Or dry bumming would have made a happier ending :)
  5. Don't bother.
  6. I think you need some lube, for many reasons. You are obviously a serious w@nker, and if this post relates to a true incident the day you go to court wear a suit, and slip a full tube of KY up your arse, you're going to need it
  7. Opps forgot to say waaaaah

    Feckin lying tw4t
  8. Your not the legend that is Mike Golden,? are you
  9. Pararegtom

    Pararegtom LE Book Reviewer

    [Carl Sims doesn't go down without a fight.

    No he goes down wimpering, and screaming for his Mum.

    Now bore off you Tosser.
  10. maguire

    maguire LE Book Reviewer

    a big hairy specimen of a wah wearing a t-shirt emblazoned with the legend 'this is an enormous waaah.'

    as if anyone who plays Games Workshop has got any mates.
  11. And especially one called Steven Gaylard. :roll:
  12. Leeeeroooooy Jeeeennnnkiiiins! I thought this made up story was hilarious!
  13. It would have cheered my night up no end .
  14. Theres a Gamer shop/chapter, in St Mary's Street in Cardiff, next door to The Goat Major pub and I have never seen such a bunch of sad,fat, usless wonkers in my life, To be beaten up by a shower like that would be like being saveged by a gang of puppies/kittens, on second thoughts I just might like that