Got Arachnophobia then be afraid

false Widow spider found in Milton Keynes.

The nest of a biting venomous spider has been found in a Buckinghamshire garden and council officers have warned residents to be on the alert for more.

Milton Keynes pest controllers have dealt with the nest of a false widow spider but believe there may be others.


Book Reviewer
Hands up everybody who gives a flying fuck what happens in Milton Keynes?


Book Reviewer
This is no time for ironing.

Hands up everybody who has been to Milton Keynes and had the sudden urge to book into a Novotel and open a vein in the bath? The Council should sponsor deadly spiders. That £50 Novotel bill could go to the dependents of those who lost the will to live.
Milton what?

You want fucking spiders?

You should come here and see tha basteds we have lurking abaht. I kid you not, some of the fuckers are so big the locals bar b q them.

I am always reminded that when licking a local girls pussy here, if it tastes strange, she might just have been living on fried flies and bbq spider for a few days.

Milton what? yet 'avin a girafe.

And I dont give a fuck about spelling and grammer cos I is pissed.
A false widow spider? Spousally challenged arachnid walt!!
False widows have been in the UK for a while. Mainly on the South Coast. Most people wouldnt even notice them or know what they are. I live in Hampshire and have a house and garden full of the buggers. No real threat to an adult unless you are allergic to such things.

Quite unpleasant compared to native species though I suppose.
EODM, Do not take the name of the almighty Penguin in vain. The other penguins tell me they dont like it.
Jesus Christ you are a boring cunt.
My GOD, you are one Hard Bastid, fancy saying that about old J.C, bet you,d thin out if you came eyeball to eyeball with him tho.
Milton's a sterilizing fluid. One visit is enough to kill all vestiges of a life but not quite enough to end simple existence.

You want fucking spiders?
Not really. Humans, female ones, will do quite nicely, thank you.

And I dont give a fuck about spelling and grammer cos I is pissed.
I can't say, despite attendance at, and healthy participation in, numerous dining-in nights, balls, exchange nights, friday nights and Burns Nights, that I have ever been that drunk. ... perhaps I need to explore that infinitessimal gap between 'totally inebriated' and 'comatose'.

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