Got a Good "Grace", Anyone?

#1
I've heard some wonderfully original versions of "Grace" spoken at Regimental Dinners, but I never wrote any down for prosterity and now I have to say Grace at a (civvy) function, myself. I'm after something a little more original than the norm. Can anyone help me out?
 
#6
Selkirk grace is always a good one

Some hae meat and cannae eat,
And some wid eat that want it,
But we hae meat,
And we can eat,
And say the lord be thankit.

I think that is right from memory, you can google it, I'm too lazy to tonight.
 
#7
For what we are about to receive
May the good Lord bless us
And make us ever mindful
Of the needs of others.
 
#8
My feet are flat
my stomach's not
so for the food
Lord thanks a lot.
If we were meant
to fast and starve
this roast would not
be here to carve.
But since it is
what can it hurt
to help myself
and have dessert?
The fatness of
the earth is Thine;
I pray to thin
I can incline.
 
#10
For the regiment that brought us together,

For the comradeship that binds us together,

For the bread that we break together,

And for the wine that we drink together

We thank you thee our God,

Amen
 
#14
Tastytoggle said:
I've heard some wonderfully original versions of "Grace" spoken at Regimental Dinners, but I never wrote any down for prosterity and now I have to say Grace at a (civvy) function, myself. I'm after something a little more original than the norm. Can anyone help me out?
Lord, I'd thank you for this fcuking scran but have you seen the razzer,
Jeezus christ, the big fat fcuk looks like a fcuking spazzer,
And the PMC just licks his ass and hasn't got a life,
And have you seen the guest of honour's totally gopping wife,
In fact the whole top table are, a bunch of total gimps,
Come to think of it everyone here bar me, look like fcuking chimps,
So eat this nosebag, enjoy it all and I'll see you after in the bar,
Where the bill for all the Port I'll get, would buy a goddamn car.

AMEN :D :D
 
#18
For good food and gravy,
Thnak God and the Navy.

For good food and salami,
Thank God and the Army.

For Good food and the main course,
Thank God and the Air Force.
 
#19
Rub-a-dub dub
Thanks for the Grub!
 
#20
benedicat bene decorum pie jesu christum dominum nostrum

that'll knock some of the old duffers off their chairs.
 

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