Gordon Brown Announces New Tax Tax

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by JoeCivvie, Apr 1, 2010.

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  1. In a surprise move aimed at reducing the size of the UK's budget deficit, Prime Minister Gordon Brown announced a new tax yesterday.

    Speaking from his padded bunker in the Tenlin (see what I did there - a play on words combining 'Number Ten' and 'Kremlin' - geddit?) the Prime Minister announced that Great Britain's most abundant resource - taxes - had thus far remained untaxed.

    Therefore, in a move which shows that the legendary fiscal prudence which made him the greatest Chancellor of the Exchequer ever (according to First Citizen Peter Mandelson) was still as strong, Prime Minister Brown announced a new 'Tax Tax'.

    The Tax Tax is a 20% tax imposed on all existing taxes, and the resulting yield will reduce the national debt over just 8 years, although by how much was not revealed.

    Appreciating that the new Tax Tax may cause some financial hardship, First Citizen Mandelson announced that certain sections of society would be exempt from the new tax. They include Labour Party Cabinet Ministers, Labour Party donors, office holders in the Unite trade union and friends of Tony and Cherie Blair.

    When asked if there might be a 'Tax Tax Tax' in the future the Prime Minister said 'that would just be silly'.

    Gordon Brown is 7½.
     
  2. I like the Tenlin bit you threw in there
     
  3. In a surprise diktat issued from the Tenlin late last night, Prime Minister Gordon Brown announced a sweeping reform aimed at making British agrarian policy fairer and more inclusive.

    From Thursday 1st April citizens of outstanding achievement (i.e. Labour Party Cabinet Ministers, Labour Party donors, office holders in the Unite trade union and friends of Tony and Cherie Blair) will be duty bound to take over any farm or estate valued at over £2 million that does not belong to a citizen of outstanding achievement.

    To help achieve this fairness and balance, the COOA will be helped in the invasions by comrade veterans of the UAF, who will remove existing owners and any farm workers living in tied accommodation. In the assumption that existing owners will complain at their forced removal, they are therefore to be branded 'fascist splitists' and so the use of extreme violence by the UAF can be understood and overlooked, and instructions issued to the ACPO to that effect.

    The ACPO is 47.
     
  4. Dont go giving New Liarbour ideas
     
  5. Or m'colleagues :twisted: