Good ways to say goodbye

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by bloodforblood, Sep 17, 2008.

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  1. Mrs Bloodforblood is leaving her employer shortly and we are looking for amusing ways for her to write her letter of resignation, obviously I am looking for inspiration from my fellow arrsers so gentlemen do your worst...........................................
  2. msr

    msr LE

    Don't burn any bridges, you never know when you might be back...

  3. in_the_cheapseats

    in_the_cheapseats LE Moderator

    Good advice
  4. Cheers for havin me, I'm off. Tata Piggies!
  5. Write the leaving note using the dried skin of a Labrador puppy and write it using her own shit. Sign it with an imprint of her dirty bung hole.

    Note should simply read; "Fuck off you cunts. I used to wipe my clamidia infested flange on your coffee cups. Die."
  6. Try getting her to walk into her work place in a postwoman's outfit, holding a variety of automatic weapons and large knives. When they start grovelling for their lives start splashing some petrol around. Force every 3rd person to perform a sexual act on any local pets/wildlife. Force every 2nd to do "oh nos" while chanting "Eat my vagina", then urine all over the work computers and walk out with her knickers around her ankles.
  7. Dear Boss

    I am actually an undercover reporter. You're fcuked. Later dude!
  8. Dear colleagues,

    I thought you would like to know this, I pissed in the kettle in the rest room every morning before you arrived at work.

    Anyone for sugar ?
  9. "I have the negatives in a safe place."
  10. She could write it while wearing a clown outfit! :wink:
  11. CplFoodspoiler

    CplFoodspoiler War Hero Book Reviewer

    I once resigned in the following fashion, I got a tasteful card from Cintons it said on the fornt 'It's been nice knowing you' On the inside I wrote:

    [align=center]Dear Mrs Jackson
    I think you're full of shit
    Which is why I sit here writing
    fcuk you, I'm off, I quit.
    Did the job nicely
  12. I have the preliminary drawings.

  13. A lot of people will tell you not to burn any bridges. I feel sorry for these well meaning people as it means they will never get to experience one of the greatest feelings, where you tell your erstwhile employer/supervisor exactly what you think of them, their abilities, their intelligence, and their appearance.
    I lasted 6 weeks in a godawful PC support job after destroying my knee and needing employment that didn't include running around or kicking people. As the one and only office job I've ever taken, it has forever scarred me and made me swear never EVER to work in such a petty, weaselly, soul destroying environment ever again. If ever I watch 'the Office' I get the 1000yd stare, and flashbacks that a Vietnam Vet would be proud of.
    My letter of resignation, which I posted on all the noticeboards before hobbling from the building made a complete list of everything that was wrong with the place - the panicky supervisor, the unfulfilled promises, the shoddy product, and the blatant lies I'd been fed upon induction. I kept it professional and dispassionate at first, trying to offer constructive criticism, but by the end felt compelled to mention the supervisors complete disregard for personal integrity, personal growth, or personal hygiene.
    My one regret was that I didn't wrap it round a brick and throw it at the idiot supervisors head.
  14. The benefit of burning a bridge is indirectly proportional to whether or not you ever want to use it in the future. If you wouldn't go back to work there if the cnuts crawled over sh1t-covered broken glass to get you and you don't need anyone there for a reference then blow them out of the water.

    The pussies who are telling not to burn the bridge are just that, pussy, scared to offend PC tw@ts... Simple as that!!!