Good reasons to be a bloke.

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by BagCharge, Jun 16, 2006.

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  1. Film nudity is virtually always female.
    You can open all your own jars.
    When clicking through TV channels, you don't have to stall on every shot of someone crying.
    Your arrse is never a factor in a job interview.
    You can go to the bathroom without a support group.
    You can kill your own food.
    The garage is all yours.
    You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
    Nobody secretly wonders if you swallow.
    If you're 34 and single, nobody notices.
    You can get into a non-trivial pissing contest.
    Flowers fix everything.
    You never have to worry about other people's feelings.
    You get to think about sex 90 percent of your waking hours.
    You can wear a white shirt to a water park.
    You never feel compelled to stop a mate from getting laid.
    The world is your urinal.
    One mood, all the time.
    Same work... more pay.
    You don't have to leave the room to make an emergency crotch adjustment.
    With 400 million sperm per shot, you could double the earth's population in 15 tries, (at least in theory).
    If you retain water, it's in a water bottle.
    The remote is yours and yours alone.
    People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.
    You can drop by to see a friend without bringing presents.
    You can buy condoms without the shop assistant imagining you naked.
    Someday you'll be a dirty old man.
    If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you might become lifelong buddies.
    There is always a football game on somewhere.
    You never have to miss a sexual opportunity because you're not in the mood.
    Porn movies are designed with your mind in mind.
    Your mates can be trusted never to trap you with: 'So... notice anything different?'
    The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
    All your orgasms are real.

    I'm out any more.........................................
  2. You have no need to fake one, because there are no rewards for coming second
  3. You dont bleed for one week every month
    you are not expected to take it up the sh1tter
  4. Having the freedom to get fat and not be asked if we're pregnant (No, I'm not fat :))
    Having pride in the size of your turds and the potency of your farts.
    Not having to shave your under-arms.
  5. The freedom not to read through bone Yank lists.
  6. A bloke can make a salacious post on a forum without being considered a brazen hussy.
  7. We can read a salicious post on a forum posted by a woman and dream she's a brazen hussy.
  8. A bloke can wear the same undercrackers for more than one day, without them smelling rancid !! Not that i ever do of course..honest :oops: :oops: