Good news for salad dodgers!

Discussion in 'The Intelligence Cell' started by vvaannmmaann, Jan 26, 2009.

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  1. It's caused by a virus? What a godsend for all the lazy, greedy phat phucks out there!
    So what happened to the other two-thirds, then?

  2. So, being a wheezy, grubby biff makes you fat. Knowing that doesn't make me any more sympathetic than I was before.
    Sheepdip and exposure to ebola, thats what they need.
  3. This seems like nonsense - I've been around plenty of porkers and never 'caught' the 'disease' of obesity. I think it is usually 'caught' by too much gob to trough action at MacDonalds, followed by too much clicking the remote in front of the telly.
  4. They will be saying we can catch dyslexia next......
  5. Or does being obese make you more suseptable to the virus? Chicken and egg scenario?
  6. I actually agree with Kevin here........................

    Goes for bleach shower :oops:

  7. I think you mean a chicken and chips scenario.
  8. As a fat b@stard you'd expect me to say, yeah it's true.

    It isnt.

    When I diet I lose weight, quite easily at first.

    When I excercise and diet I lose weight even more efficiently.

    But I get bored of salads and at least twice a week need a pie and walking briskly around my shitty town, particularly in the winter months isnt an attractive or even safe option, even if it is effective in losing weight. So the weight comes back.

    Eat less fat, no more than 50gms a day, aim for 35gms if you can and the weight slowly and steadily will come down. Nearly all diets are nonsense.

    I'm winning the battle slowly but surely.

    Anyway, fat people are harder to kidnap.
  9. Saw a belter on the bus a few weeks back. Some grotesque blubber-bitch was taking a young lad to task for sitting on one of the disabled seats, claiming she needed it. He pulled up his trouser, revealing a prosthetic, and told her, "Losing a leg is a disability, losing self-control in the cake shop isn't". Oh, how I wish I'd thought of that one.

    There must be something in the water. All these new 'diseases' and 'genetic predilections' that make you fat yet have never, ever afflicted the human race before the last 20 years. Lies, all of it, designed to remove the need for the weak-willed to feel justifiably bad about themselves.
  10. Oh please......... When will people accept that weight gain is related to consuming more calories than their body needs?
  11. Fat Virus. My fecking arrse. Just another excuse for all thefecking lazy 'Pie Eaters' to keep nuzzling at the trough.

    What next, Mongomania Virus...?

  12. You can actually catch dyslexia, its called acquired dyslexia, you may find its caused through trauma etc. Acquired learning disabilities may be brought on in line with PTSD. So on a serious note it may affect service personnel more than the average civi. However there is no research I know of to prove this.
  13. Chairborne, I totally agree with you about the less fat intake,if like me they get themselves a Gallbadder problem,(through my own stupidy),just watch the weight roll off them! Yes I admit I was not a willing volunteer. Funny 'nuff I don't miss the stuff any more
  14. Its true, there really is a fat virus. I went to the med centre and got brufen, tubigrip and a two day biff-chit!