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Prince Harry ‘to be normal ex-soldier’ and live on streets

Prince Harry’s plan to be just like any other soldier returning from a tour of duty were under review today when it was revealed he is now sleeping on the streets and begging for cash towards his next bottle of cooking sherry.

After finding his family and friends difficult to relate to on his return from Afghanistan, the Prince lasted just one night holding down a part time job as a night club bouncer. Having married a childhood sweetheart called ‘Chelsy’ in haste, he immediately decided it was a big mistake and walked out on her and the kids before seeking solace in alcohol. The homeless prince soon developed anxiety attacks and woke up with nightmares as he relived his war time experiences. With limited access to psychological support he has already developed full blown post-traumatic stress disorder.

‘I think it’s marvellous that the Prince is not getting any special treatment’ said Defence Minister, Des Browne; ‘We can all be enormously proud that he is out there just like any other ex-squaddie, sleeping in doorways, growing increasingly bitter and wondering how he might use his firearms expertise to express his hatred for mainstream society.’

Some cynics have suggested that the whole episode has been a PR stunt to show the Prince as a regular guy and that now that his whereabouts have been revealed, Prince Harry has the excuse to return to Buckingham Palace. ‘Whatever happens the Prince has shown that he can hack it like the rest of his regiment’ said his former commander. ‘In fact he took to it better than many of the others. Taking handouts and appearing drunk in public just seemed to come to him naturally…’

Class article, it made me giggle quite a bit, especially the photos!

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