Good and Bad Presents?

#1
Santa has been and gone. Next to the fireplace is a half-eaten carrot, a sucked chocolate, a reindeer turd and a small pile of soot.

And under the tree are your pressies...

So, spill the beans.... are they good or bad?

Litotes
 
#3
An 18 year old hooker and her sister with two bags of coke stuffed up her clack and a novelty dildo strapped to her head.




Oops. Just re read your post. I thought it said 'what do you want'. :roll:
 
#4
I got:

Half a carrot, a Brazil nut with a hint of chocolate, some fertiliser for the garden and my chimney swept...

Bugger!

Merry bloody Christmas. :?
 
#5
The-Lord-Flasheart said:
An 18 year old hooker and her sister with two bags of coke stuffed up her clack and a novelty dildo strapped to her head.




Oops. Just re read your post. I thought it said 'what do you want'. :roll:
Wait until the sales on boxing day Flash,
Bound to be cheaper
 
#6
Pants.


Y-fronts to be exact.


As I said.


Pants.


8O
 
#7
A dildo with **** lube - the note says" it's your turn" :!:
 
#8
Best present is knowing I helped an ARRSEr in need and made a better Christmas for someone. second best , trollying into bathroom for a #1 and sister-in-law in toweling herself off post shower, honest I didnt know.

WW
dont forget , over eat, drink too much and make a fool of yourself today, I know I will.
 
#9
I'm not sure what I've got. My Big Sister (and her husband) are sleeping in the front room and has not got up yet. She is a right dragon in the morning so I'll just have to wait :(

WW- She left the door unlocked on purpose, you will be getting your "Real" Christmas present later this evening :)
 
#10
wheelchairwarrier said:
Best present is knowing I helped an ARRSEr in need and made a better Christmas for someone. second best , trollying into bathroom for a #1 and sister-in-law in toweling herself off post shower, honest I didnt know.

WW
dont forget , over eat, drink too much and make a fool of yourself today, I know I will.
Careful WW you almost raised the tone there, I got a 9 volt battery, you should have seen my face light up.
 
#12
A four way alcohol bottle optic, Super Mario Galaxy for the Wii and loads more, no bad stuff!!
 
#13
Just phoned my dad who was in the RSC (pre RCT) in the 1950's and he's happy no body sent him socks or slippers this year. He had half his leg and the other foot amputated a couple of years ago but has still got his Squaddie humour.

He especially liked his card from the Retford tank transporter Association :D
 
#14
Lots of alcohol, lots of chocolate and lots of DVDs.

You see... insisting on the WHOLE family coming down for christmas has its advantages - the wenches can bitch over their Xmas special of Eastenders, and we blokes can talk trade over a few bottles of scotch and a decent WWII film.
 
#15
WW you sentimental auld cnut.

Did you shake the drips of a bit too vigorously for her liking

Got no pressies yet, have asked for pussers socks

If I want something good I've probably already bought it already :D

Bah humbug
 
#16
Good Present: Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare. Awesome.

Bad Present: Box of After Eights. I mean, seriously?
 
#17
Good Present; Grumpy old men a Christmas, been in stitches all morning :) (Are my kids trying to tell me something?)

Bad Present: Some Andy McNab book, I wouldn't use it as a door wedge.....Cack
 
#18
Dead chuffed when I opened mine. Got a "Can't Stand the Rezillos" cd (thanks you know who you are!) and for once my mother was inspired and gave me Maw Broon's Cook Book. Biccies, nae peh recipe, bridies only! Mealie, skirlie and clapshot a plenty. I'll be like Daphne after trying all that lot out.
 
#19
Baldrick66 said:
Good Present; Grumpy old men a Christmas, been in stitches all morning :) (Are my kids trying to tell me something?)

Bad Present: Some Andy McNab book, I wouldn't use it as a door wedge.....Cack
There is money to be made here.... sign it "all the best mate, regards, Andy" and whack it on ebay.

New Sleeka original Softie jacket in XL..... my god its huuuuge, exchange needed me thinks.

Merry Christmas one and all.
 
#20
The best gift i received was from all my mates from afghanistan and Iraq saying they were all o.k.

It brought tears to my eyes
 

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