A man staggers into A&E with a concussion, multiple bruises, two black eyes and a five iron wrapped around his neck. Naturally, the doctor asks him what happened. "Well," the man says, "it's like this; I was playing a quiet round of golf with my wife, when at a difficult hole, we both sliced our balls into a pasture of cows. We went to look for them, and while I was rooting around, I noticed one of the cows had something white on its rear end. I walked over and lifted up the tail, and sure enough, there was a golf ball with my wife's monogram on it ... stuck right in the middle of the cow's arse. That's when I made my big mistake." "What did you do?" the doctor asks. "Well." the man replies, "I lifted the cow's tail and yelled to my wife, Hey, this looks like yours! I don't remember much after that."