A man is rushed into Casualty with a golf club wrapped around his neck. "How on earth did this happen?" asks the doctor. "Well, my wife and I were playing a round of golf and she sliced her shot into a field of cows. I was laughing so much I did the same thing, so we went into the field to look for the balls. As we were looking I saw one of the balls sticking out of the arsehole of a cow, I looked closely and said, 'this looks like yours, darling' and I can't remember anything after that..."