Right, gonna take serious flak for this but don't really give a fcuk.

Goldie, my pet fish, died tonight between 2100 hrs and 2330 hrs while I was out playing pool. A month or two ago, was here to save him when he did an impresion of a rock, as any in chat at the time may remember, but this time it was too late.

Funeral will be held in the toilet first thing in the morning. No flowers please, but any donations to the GPRA.

Goldie, Sink In Peace

I always thought that fish was a fag anyway. Looked VERY gay to me.

Next time, get yourself a black shark


Book Reviewer
I too have a sad announcement.........yesterday was not a red letter day for pets decended from carp.

At 9.30 last night my black moor, Jet, popped his fins as well.

He was swiftly given a decent send off by Messrs Armitidge & Shanks followed by 3 pints of Old Hooky in the pub across the road.
Anyone heard from Fish-Head recently? Bet he's crapping himself in case this fishy virus is catching.
The funeral was a simple, but solemn occasion. The one person present said a few words over the cistern as the little fishy body was lowered into the bowl......

No more bubbles, your tank is dry.
No fish flakes for me to buy.
No more life in your fishy eyes,
No more "Bob"s or fishy sighs.

No more swimming for me to see,
Farewell old friend, you've been set free.
I'll miss you now you're not around...
But easier to flush than if you'd been a Hound
The chief mourner then pulled the flush as his favourite hymn was sung....

Monty Python said:
All things dull and ugly,
All creatures short and squat,
All things rude and nasty,
The Lord God made the lot.

Each little snake that poisons,
Each little wasp that stings,
He made their brutish venom
He made their horrid wings.

All things sick and cancerous,
All evil, great and small,
All things foul and dangerous
The Lord God made them all

Each nasty little hornet,
Each beastly little squid,
Who made the spikey urchin?
Who made the sharks? He did.

All things scabbed and ulcerous,
All pox both great and small,
Putrid, foul and gangrenous,
The Lord God made them all.
Let the Wake commence.........
Little Jack and ManinBlack, very sorry to hear of your fish. But try to keep perspective....

The Universe itself keeps
On expanding and expanding
In all of the directions it can whizz.
As fast as it can go,
The speed of light you know,
Twelve million miles a minute
(And that's the fasted speed there is)
So remember when you're feeling
Very small, and insecure,
How amazingly unlikely is your birth.
And pray that there's intelligent life
Somewhere up in Space
Cos there's bugger all
Down here on Earth.


Book Reviewer
The kids were upset and said I should get another fish.....I told them I would replace it with a rock 'cos I know rocks don't die.

I nearly had them going again over that one. :twisted:
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