Going Large On A CV

IT is the worst got that 5 or 10 years experience for things even the guys that created the tech couldn't admit to having with any honesty

So blogging is almost a requirement to get past agents and hr
Saw a post recently about job ads asking for ten years experience in software that had only existed for five...
 
Saw a post recently about job ads asking for ten years experience in software that had only existed for five...
Overtime counts as time and a half...
 

Wordsmith

LE
Book Reviewer
Saw a post recently about job ads asking for ten years experience in software that had only existed for five...
My company (computer security) has at least two cross-checks against CV.
  1. If you claim certain testing/hacking skills on your CV, you will be handed a laptop during the interview and invited to demonstrate them.
  2. If you claim certain qualifications on your CV, you will be invited to bring along the pertinent certificates on your first day.
Bluffing doesn't generally end well...

Wordsmith
 
My company (computer security) has at least two cross-checks against CV.
  1. If you claim certain testing/hacking skills on your CV, you will be handed a laptop during the interview and invited to demonstrate them.
  2. If you claim certain qualifications on your CV, you will be invited to bring along the pertinent certificates on your first day.
Bluffing doesn't generally end well...

Wordsmith
This was the employer placing the advert, not the potential employee bluffing!
 

Mr Tweedy

Old-Salt
Don't know why @jgriffin78 posted then deleted both the post and his account, but stranger things happen on this site.

To provide some light entertainment, here are the vids from Mr, I apologise, Colonel Windmill's YouTube channel.
In the year since they were posted, he's accumulated two whole followers, neither of whom is me.
They may have been posted before but I'll lose no sleep over that.


Bloody hell, those are difficult to listen to. Not only the BS, but it's like a female Stephen Hawking narrating a bad rip off of a Sven Hassel novel.
 
Don't know why @jgriffin78 posted then deleted both the post and his account, but stranger things happen on this site.

To provide some light entertainment, here are the vids from Mr, I apologise, Colonel Windmill's YouTube channel.
In the year since they were posted, he's accumulated two whole followers, neither of whom is me.
They may have been posted before but I'll lose no sleep over that.


That is dire. He must have used the random Vogon poetry generator to narrate those.
 
I can confirm that he is in the course picture from the 1999 Territorial Army Command & Staff Course (the little scamp clearly left the 'T' off his love letter to himself CV) at Camberley. No mention of who bagged the top thruster award though as there are no 'glory boards' that go back further than 2005, and the written records...well, the less said the better.
 

Diogenes' limp

Old-Salt
To provide some light entertainment, here are the vids from Mr, I apologise, Colonel Windmill's YouTube channel.
Good god! Having watc endured half of the first video I was transported back to a time many decades ago, in the mid previous century when paper backs were a form of barrack room currency and gender distinctions were clearly delineated. Lurid westerns by J.T. Edson* for the lads and anything in the bosom heaving romance line from Mills & Boon for the lasses.

Now, I never thought that at this late stage I would admit on an open forum, to having once, in a time of great famine and boredom, read not one, but three Mills and Boon romances. Mock not too swiftly when I say it taught me something.

What I have just heard though was someone who thought they were an Edson character, rootin' shootin' cowboy but as written for Mills and Boon and narrated by Barbara Cartland.

I haven't read back into the thread, but if this person and their persona, is real, cringing embarrassment doesn't begin to ------ no, words fail me.

*Capturing the imagination of and creating enthusiasm for reading in young men for whom reading hadn't much featured prior to joining up was a special talent. Different times.

 
Don't know why @jgriffin78 posted then deleted both the post and his account, but stranger things happen on this site.

To provide some light entertainment, here are the vids from Mr, I apologise, Colonel Windmill's YouTube channel.
In the year since they were posted, he's accumulated two whole followers, neither of whom is me.
They may have been posted before but I'll lose no sleep over that.


I wept for many hours listening to the exploits of Colonel General Windmill in Iraq sheltering from metal rain. My ears are bleeding - I´ve given up at 7.18
 
It amazes me that he’s not yet running a FTSE 100 whilst being fellated by admiring shareholders.

No, wait.

Perhaps it has something to do with the suicidal bullshitting, misogyny, vanity and incompetence he’s submitted for posterity on the internet.
 
years ago BBC radio 4 had a series on people who managed to get very good and dangerous jobs on false CVs.

One was a Gordie who had done a few years as Merchant Marine deckhand.

Got to be the Captain of a cruse liner.

Fist day on the job got a dicky tummy and went to his cabin getting the 2 IC to take it out.

Only ever Managed to visit the bridge leaving the work to the crew.


Another one was a builder who blagged his way into a Site manger job building huge tall buildings.

On being asked what the crews should be doing just walked away.
 
years ago BBC radio 4 had a series on people who managed to get very good and dangerous jobs on false CVs.

One was a Gordie who had done a few years as Merchant Marine deckhand.

Got to be the Captain of a cruse liner.

Fist day on the job got a dicky tummy and went to his cabin getting the 2 IC to take it out.

Only ever Managed to visit the bridge leaving the work to the crew.


Another one was a builder who blagged his way into a Site manger job building huge tall buildings.

On being asked what the crews should be doing just walked away.
Some 10 years ago there was a white Zimbabwean who blagged his way to be a country director of a Swiss Demining team working in Tajikistan. Lied about having any quals.

The day one of his French EOD techs died, he booked himself on leave - having just returned from leave - left the organisation and started on a job for OSCE. I interviewed him once as a source having not heard the back story. Listening to him made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. It was like the ‘what colour is the boathouse in Herford’ scene in ‘Ronin’.

Last heard of about 6 years ago working for a Danish organisation in South Sudan.

Nobody had ever checked his quals or contacted a reference.

I’m still staggered that anyone would do this.
 
Only just come across this... never heard of him (have now). At first, wasnt sure if General of the Walter Army....
 
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