Going Large On A CV

Bigging up is not restricted to the military.

I had the misfortune to have to deal with a Nigerian chappie working as the safety manager for one of our best clients. He had been in the UK for several months before finding the job, and was fired before completing his probationary period (he lasted just over 3 months). It took him nearly 12 months to get another job.

Oddly his LinkedIn cv shows no gaps in his employment history for the period 2017-2018 and no mention at all of his working for a major chemical company!

According to LinkedIn he is a successful health & safety manager with an established track record etc etc
 
I have returned, disciple-like, to Windmill's CV for more tripe:

Piloted several of UK's largest evolutionary programmes, resolving issues eluded by others.
What superb shite. What's a 'large evolutionary programme'? Doesn't evolution pilot itself? Or is he God?

As for 'resolving issues eluded by others', surely that's all credit to the 'others' for eluding the issues? An alternative reading of this is 'I walk fuckwittedly into problems that nobody else has experienced'.

It's almost worth getting this specimen in for an interview...
 
I have returned, disciple-like, to Windmill's CV for more tripe:



What superb shite. What's a 'large evolutionary programme'? Doesn't evolution pilot itself? Or is he God?

As for 'resolving issues eluded by others', surely that's all credit to the 'others' for eluding the issues? An alternative reading of this is 'I walk fuckwittedly into problems that nobody else has experienced'.

It's almost worth getting this specimen in for an interview...
I recommend getting a Buzzword Bingo card and play it while reading the CV.
 
Would you vote for him? I think it seems likely he will end up in politics. After all, Senator Joe McCarthy claimed he had several pounds of shrapnel in his leg from Japanese flak when he was a tail gunner, when the only injury he had during the war was when he fell off a ladder aboard ship during a crossing the line ceremony.
 
Would you vote for him? I think it seems likely he will end up in politics. After all, Senator Joe McCarthy claimed he had several pounds of shrapnel in his leg from Japanese flak when he was a tail gunner, when the only injury he had during the war was when he fell off a ladder aboard ship during a crossing the line ceremony.
Which TELIC tours did you do?
 
Which TELIC tours did you do?
Bit below the belt! My TELIC deployment fell through out the last minute and would have been at sea.

The thing is this guy has managed to transform his image from that of a decent bloke to a total throbber just be exaggerating a few things and misusing statistics.
 

ExREME..TECH

On ROPS
On ROPs
Not really. You seem happy to criticise a bloke for doing something that you haven't done. Whatever his (very obvious) faults, he deployed on Op TELIC.
I didn't do telic either
 
Not really. You seem happy to criticise a bloke for doing something that you haven't done. Whatever his (very obvious) faults, he deployed on Op TELIC.
The point is that using buzzwords, exaggerating, and misusing Statistics has done him no favours, and means his real achievements are likely to be overlooked. He could have created an image of a solid bloke, but for some reason he blew it.
 

Joshua Slocum

LE
Book Reviewer
The point is that using buzzwords, exaggerating, and misusing Statistics has done him no favours, and means his real achievements are likely to be overlooked. He could have created an image of a solid bloke, but for some reason he blew it.
Yes but to be fair, some people love all that bullshit, and are easily fooled by it
 

ExREME..TECH

On ROPS
On ROPs
Like I didn't do HERRICK. My point remains, Yokel took a cheap shot at someone who, whatever his faults, has deployed on an Op tour. Not the done thing, IMHO.
I only did four Herricks so I see your point, I think
 

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