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Going dry

Well I ain't gone dry (never my intention) but am now bobbling along at around 15-25 "units" of alcohol a week, depending on if I have a bottle of wine. That's at least 60% less than a year ago.
I'd already cut back by the beginning of November but finding diet tonic water & grapefruit juice as a substitute for IPA has been a bonus, both in lower alcohol & much lower calories (about 25kcal/pint instead of 250).
 
Went out with the girls from office last night and got smashed . Didn’t get naked, didn’t get laid and didn’t swamp the bed. **** life’s boring.
 
That’s a completely tragic story, @piper89 Sorry to hear your family going through that.

I had the suicidal thoughts for years, going back to School, many with my illness do. It was all planned, too. In more recent times there were a lot of sleepless nights when I’d wish I’d drop off & not wake up.

Thankfully I’m over all that now. A bit of self-love (fnarr-fnarr ;) ) is an important thing in recovery. If one can’t value oneself how can one value others?
 
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A good “arrse” mate @technospastic passed away, due to complications brought on by serving in Afghan.

We spent many a late night chatting, sharing burdens, experiences.
@Major Fuckwit
@Cold_Collation

It’s a more of a fight of what you drink to control, than the drinking itself,

He was a good mate, sound listener, I miss him.

As do I. I spent Remembrance Sunday sitting on Minehead beach, drinking Strongbow and crying my eyes out. The dick had to drink something honking, didn't he? The bellend.

New callsign.
 
Plum
You seem to be holding things together well, unlike my son in law him and the daughter split up 2 weeks ago.

On Sunday night he decided it would be a good idea to neck a bottle of vodka followed by 40 tramadol he made 2 vidoes one of him popping the pills the other saying good bye to the kids sent them to her.

She phoned him trying to find out where he was, prick wouldn't answer the phone that was until the pills started taking effect he then phone the ambulance him self spinless prick.

Hes still in ICU recovering from an induced coma wasting a bed for some one who really needs it and as for any chance of him getting back with the daughter he has really blew that out off the water.
What ever you think he needs that bed, dark thoughts do bad things to people who have nothing else. Maybe after he recovers (if), he will get the treatment needed for his mental health problems.
Thus saving many beds in the future. If he really wanted to kill himself he would have not bothered contacting anyone or posting is any for of social media.
 
...It’s interesting, though, that after four or so months sobriety under my own steam with some NHS assistance my first relapse was after MrsPlume cancelled relationship counselling (after five sessions over a month as it was “a waste of her time & my money”). Each subsequent relapse, including the one that led to what I see as my rock bottom when I lost my job, relates almost directly to a text or email she sent...


There's your trigger. Better off banging out and drawing a line under what appears to be a poisonous relationship. Plumesprog will find you when he's old enough to can her and her shit. Keep the commlink open.
 
There's your trigger. Better off banging out and drawing a line under what appears to be a poisonous relationship. Plumesprog will find you when he's old enough to can her and her shit. Keep the commlink open.

Exactly what I’m doing. It’s just it does hurt after the happy times & all the plans we had for the future, especially when she’s blotted out all the good bits or even seems to go about life as if I didn’t exist/hadn’t existed.

Comms being kept up via my Mother & Sister who are seeing him tomorrow. They’re handing over presents, & no cash or vouchers among them so they’re not misappropriated ;)

However I’m still giving up alcohol. While MasterPlume has rarely seen me inebriated & wonders what the fuss is about I intend to be firing on all cylinders & a great role model when he is seeing me again :)
 
Good onya. Sounds like the bloke needs some stability after being forced to spend time in close proximity to the loonspud. Might not be direct but as long as he knows you're around if he needs you it'll help him deal with her shit.
 
Good onya. Sounds like the bloke needs some stability after being forced to spend time in close proximity to the loonspud. Might not be direct but as long as he knows you're around if he needs you it'll help him deal with her shit.

Luckily he is one hell of a survivor, & the good manners & kindness taught to him by my family have stayed with him. He’s too young to realise his mother has issues, & TBH I missed out on them as for me the way she treated people was normal as it was all the time. Guests have since commented that I was taken for granted.

Thing is I could never challenge her. If I did I would have thrown back at me something about a drinking episode. Also alcoholics often feel constant guilt & insecurity - because I didn’t know I am an alcoholic I didn’t understand why I was constantly on edge. For a narcissist I was the perfect partner, I could constantly be gaslighted and think it was my fault.

I didn’t drink because of MrsPlume. I’d done that for a long time because I’m an alcoholic. However she knew exactly the buttons to press.

A comment of MasterPlume’s when he surreptitiously rang me a while back is instructive. He said, “I don’t know what my mum’s problem with you is, you’re a really good person.” From the child I’m supposed to have neglected according to the first draft divorce petition that’s humbling.

However I was a nightmare if I went on a bender, & ran the risk of ruining lots of lives as well as my own. I could regularly have just a couple of pints, but never knew if I’d stop.

That’s why I have to stop. It’s not forever, that’s too daunting. It’s just making sure for the next 24 hours I don’t pick up the first drink. Anyone can give up for 24 hours...
 
Work Christmas party last night.

Amusing to say the least seeing my work colleagues shitfaced while I was completely sober.

Most of the pubs we ended up in did some sort of non alcoholic beer so all good really. Just bung it in a glass and no one knows any different.

Pretty good night and massive smug factor waking up this morning without a hangover, knowing that all my oppos will be wanting to stick their heads in the freezer.

Incidentally one of the blokes I work with was rushed into hospital a few weeks back. Serious heart problems, diabetes, fucked liver and a minor stroke. Basically dying.

He’s 58.

That’s what a life of boozing and eating shite gets you.
 
A comment of MasterPlume’s when he surreptitiously rang me a while back is instructive. He said, “I don’t know what my mum’s problem with you is, you’re a really good person.” From the child I’m supposed to have neglected according to the first draft divorce petition that’s humbling.
It pleased me greatly to read that he's making his own efforts to stay in touch with you. I hope it gives you heart. You'll have a solid father son relationship with him in the future I'm sure.
Best wishes.
Pv
 
It pleased me greatly to read that he's making his own efforts to stay in touch with you. I hope it gives you heart. You'll have a solid father son relationship with him in the future I'm sure.
Best wishes.
Pv

He’s 12, so it’s one phone call in seven months as he’s busy with school, sport, computers, & from what I gather tentative attempts at having a girlfriend. However that’s to be expected & I expect his mother removed my number from his phone anyway, she’s the type to check the call register.

What I’m glad about is that he’s old enough to remember that I’m the one who coached his Rugby team, played board games, took him to the recreation ground to play cricket, to the driving range & so on while MrsPlume was “out with the girls” or too tired/sick to do anything as a family.

Strange thing is first draft divorce petition had it the other way round. I was supposed to be passed out pissed on the playroom sofa every weekend* while she entertained the Boy. This claim disappeared when I pointed out said sofa & indeed playroom was unusable because it was always full of her crap & that I could provide photographic evidence going back many years of taking the Boy off for activities every weekend...

And breathe! Meeting today & I feel a bit shabby about being catty about another ex with a group of University friends. Hope if I’m going to have to perform AA penance a couple of the busty blondes administering my punishment ;)

*Note the complaint to my sister was that I avoided family life by spending too long in the kitchen. Probably did sometimes as an alternative to eating bland food from a repertoire of about three dishes, takeaways, ready meals or not being fed at all...
 
As Master Plume is approaching adolescence I think Mrs Plume will be glad of your input and support when every adolescent goes through that 6-12 month period of twattery when the hormones really go crazy.
 
As Master Plume is approaching adolescence I think Mrs Plume will be glad of your input and support when every adolescent goes through that 6-12 month period of twattery when the hormones really go crazy.

Sadly she won’t. In her head he doesn’t want to see me, & I'm not suitable to be round him.

One of the reasons I don’t get to spend time with MasterPlume is that the evident love & affection we have for each other is against her narrative. It’s complicated but tied up in the Jungian concept of The Shadow...
 
I haven't seen my boy since he was 9 years old. He'll be 16 in February.

I'm just hoping that once he's old enough he'll be able to make contact. I can't at the moment as his mother is a complete and utter bitch and I just know it will cause me loads of aggravation if I try.
 
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