Going dry

Ravers

LE
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
No Little Man. Stephen Fry: “Someone was trying to persuade me to stay for one more. I knew I had filming the next day so I refused” he recalled. “Francis Bacon said to me: “you have a little man don’t you? You have a little man, who lives in your head and tells you when it’s time to stop. Be thankful for that little man. Greater men have fallen through lack of one”.

I certainly had no little man. I too would kip out in the garden in my Buffalo bag just to avoid risking waking the Mrs up staggering into bed when most people might be thinking about getting up. I tried swapping the 20 case of Strongbow for a small selection of hipster microbrew ales from the hipster offy near me, with most being about 4 quid for a 330ml can. I’d go in thinking I’ll just get 4, panic and spend 50-60 quid and make sure half of them were crazy 8+% ones just in case the rest didn’t do enough of a job. A 330ml can is gone in a few swigs, so I’d end up plastered and searching the cupboards for the cooking vermouth or mixing sloe gin with Christmas cake brandy, shit gin (left over from making sloe gin) with tropical juice etc.
I’d also do mental stuff like deciding to bake buns at 0400 or deciding bullshot sounded a good idea and making 5 litres of beef consommé that I then dropped in the kitchen in my state. Once made a birdbox in the garage with a circular saw that I was holding the guard back on with my spare hand.

I’d say it was the only time I got to do anything, once everyone else was in bed. In reflection I was convincing myself that it was ok to stay up all night because I was busy doing important stuff, whereas in reality I didn’t do it in the day as I only saw half of it and spent it feeling shit and wondering when was an acceptable time to get back on it.

Looking back I wonder how I ever functioned. I think it was the guilt as I knew I wasn’t behaving normally, and the need to convince myself and my Mrs that I was fine and in control and therefore had to ‘contribute’ to the day to day goings on and not let on that I was rough as ****. I’m still processing it all tbh.

I spoke earlier in the thread about when the novelty of feeling great wore off and I’ve now realised I was depressed back then and self medicating by boozing till I blacked out, and with the help of a good friend who’d seen through the front have been taking steps to address it as the decline from that novelty wearing off never really flattened out, just continued till I was staring at the wall some days.
I’ve never heard about the little man before. I definitely do not have a little man.

Reading your post massively hit home. I could’ve wrote that myself.

Like your hipster ales, I convinced myself that if I drank more expensive booze, it was somehow better. Because the beers were craft beers or expensive German lagers, I got it into my head that drinking was a classy hobby, not just about getting ******* blotto. Likewise enjoying a posh single malt whisky by a fire is something classy blokes in castles do.

And like you, when the good shit ran out, it was time to raid the cupboards and break out that half bottle of Advocaat that some **** left here at a party 6 years ago.

I was also paid up member of the drunken good ideas club. I’ve decorated rooms in my house while shitfaced, done odd jobs out in the garage and on the farm etc.
 
Ravers, it sounds like we’re peas out of the same pod as I’ve read your posts on here and thought **** me that’s me. Red wine vom in the sink full of unwashed dishes etc. Probably a good thing I never went to sea. I’d have probably read your dits thread after 15 cans and gone off banging on the recruiting office door one night if I hadn’t been too old already
 
Like your hipster ales, I convinced myself that if I drank more expensive booze, it was somehow better. Because the beers were craft beers or expensive German lagers, I got it into my head that drinking was a classy hobby, not just about getting ******* blotto.
Ditto!
 

Ravers

LE
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
I’ve plugged it on here before, but the alcohol explained book by William Porter really is a must read for anyone trying to give up.

He’s an ex para so it’s in language we understand.

It basically just explains how booze works, the science behind it all, why you get addicted to it and what it does to your body.

Armed with this knowledge I’ve managed to train myself to think of alcohol as a very harmful poison (which it is). I don’t think about how fun it’d be to get pissed anymore, I think of how ill it will make me the next day and the long term effects it is having on my body and health.
 
I’ve plugged it on here before, but the alcohol explained book by William Porter really is a must read for anyone trying to give up.

He’s an ex para so it’s in language we understand.

It basically just explains how booze works, the science behind it all, why you get addicted to it and what it does to your body.

Armed with this knowledge I’ve managed to train myself to think of alcohol as a very harmful poison (which it is). I don’t think about how fun it’d be to get pissed anymore, I think of how ill it will make me the next day and the long term effects it is having on my body and health.
I’d be interested in that and why loads of people can have one drink, and people like us have to cane it. I already knew that it was poison but carried on regardless in spite of knowing how shit I’d be tomorrow. I’d even ponder that thought and laugh as I said ‘**** it’ and crack into another bottle or can. But if the prawns in the fridge even threaten to be past their peak I bin them even if they’re probably fine
 
2 and a half weeks in. I had an odd moment today when I started clearing out the kitchen cupboards and getting rid of old tins. I'd been meaning to do it for a few months but couldn't be bothered to get started. Today I found myself doing it without consciously deciding to.

I'm not sure if it's willpower, more energy, boredom, having more time in the day or just procrastinating about work but I seem to be getting a lot more little jobs done. Previously I'd have found a reason to put them off until 'next week' (which never happened), usually while having a beer.

I’ve plugged it on here before, but the alcohol explained book by William Porter really is a must read for anyone trying to give up.

He’s an ex para so it’s in language we understand.

It basically just explains how booze works, the science behind it all, why you get addicted to it and what it does to your body.
Horses for courses. I had a look at a couple of chapters on Amazon and wasn't keen - there's a lot of general assertion and nothing I could see in the way of evidence or references. It looks interesting but I suspect there's much better stuff on the actual science behind the effects of alcohol and the associated dependence.
 
Alcoholic’s are alcoholics, it’s an illness, maybe hereditary, my grandfather was a very abusive one, Irish, my aunty followed suit, so did my brother.

Myself, I struggled and still do with Anorexia, which was and still is a bitch to hide.

On Ops it was easy as all in the early days dropped weight, since I’ve left I just run.
 
Good luck. A technique for giving up is delay & distract-if thinking of having a drink wait x-minutes, & then do something different in that period...
That's the technique I used when kicking a 50+ a day cigarette habit.
Another thing was changing routines so that I no longer ended up at one of the "& this is where I have a smeurk" points.
As for booze: Been on the "half & half, alc/non alc (500ml bottle of each)" beer thing for 10 days now & it's suiting me just fine.
I did however succumb tonight & have a bottle of wine - first in a fortnight.
As the Ghost Ship non alcoholic beer's on offer in Tesco, I've ordered 160 bottles which should arrive on Wednesday, which is a saving of £48 & commits me to the current regime for the next 6 months (already have 40 or more bottles here).
If nothing else, the savings from cutting back & changing what I drink (£25 a week) will pretty much pay for an extra flight to the US this year.
 
I've just looked at the empties in the kitchen.
10 bottles of real ale and an empty bottle of Bushmills. I don't have a bad head but just feel a bit tired. A case of one was too many, ten wasn't enough.

Driving first thing tomorrow morning, so no booze at all now until next Friday.
 
Armed with this knowledge I’ve managed to train myself to think of alcohol as a very harmful poison (which it is). I don’t think about how fun it’d be to get pissed anymore, I think of how ill it will make me the next day and the long term effects it is having on my body and health.
I tend to think of it slightly differently.

I am by nature a bit of a twat. But I am a reasonably intelligent twat.

The difference between me sober and me drunk is that alcohol degrades the performance of my "being a twat" inhibitor.
I fully accept that I have some fairly big character flaws, I am well aware of them and most of the time manage my behaviour reasonably well, if I partake of drink then I tend to get a bit vague about the line between acceptable behaviour and being an utter ****.

It is far better for me and those around me if I don't get myself in to the position of blurring that line.
I am very much of the view that alcohol dependence (and the behaviour changes that come with it) are a character flaw and just like any other character flaw each individual needs to manage their own

For me, alcohol isn't the problem, its my underlying unpleasant character traits that I allow to come to the fore when pissed that are the problem.
 
I am very much of the view that alcohol dependence (and the behaviour changes that come with it) are a character flaw and just like any other character flaw each individual needs to manage their own

For me, alcohol isn't the problem, its my underlying unpleasant character traits that I allow to come to the fore when pissed that are the problem.
You describe Step 4, making a personal moral inventory, of the AA 12 Step programme quite well. Of course to us It’s the character defects that are the root of rather than a symptom of our illness.
 
You describe Step 4, making a personal moral inventory, of the AA 12 Step programme quite well. Of course to us It’s the character defects that are the root of rather than a symptom of our illness.

We are probably agreeing.

My character flaws are not because of alcohol.
Alcohol simply reduces my ability to keep those flaws in check

Go back 30 years and I probably started drinking because of those flaws but thats a more complex discussion. I stopped drinking because I used it to excuse some fairly unsociable behaviour instead of dealing with that behaviour.

In truth, these days I have taught myself to behave in a more or less socially responsible manner (by learning, not by nature) and I recognised that alcohol reduced my ability to work out what is acceptable.

We are all different. Great thread for introspection this one......
 

Ravers

LE
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
I tend to think of it slightly differently.

I am by nature a bit of a twat. But I am a reasonably intelligent twat.

The difference between me sober and me drunk is that alcohol degrades the performance of my "being a twat" inhibitor.
I fully accept that I have some fairly big character flaws, I am well aware of them and most of the time manage my behaviour reasonably well, if I partake of drink then I tend to get a bit vague about the line between acceptable behaviour and being an utter ****.

It is far better for me and those around me if I don't get myself in to the position of blurring that line.
I am very much of the view that alcohol dependence (and the behaviour changes that come with it) are a character flaw and just like any other character flaw each individual needs to manage their own

For me, alcohol isn't the problem, its my underlying unpleasant character traits that I allow to come to the fore when pissed that are the problem.
In my early drinking days (teens / early 20s) this was definitely an issue for me. I would always out pin after a few beers.

I’ve never been into fighting or whatnot, I’d just do stupid shit (like crashing a car) or say stupid shit (usually to women I was trying to ****).

Basically I was just a loud ******** with massive amounts of self confidence and arrogance when I was pissed.

I recall being in a nightclub bogs one night and I threw a full pint glass into one of the bogs just for a laugh. It completely destroyed the cubicle, broken glass everywhere cracked cistern, a pint of beer spilled all over the floor.

No idea why I did it, just thought it’d be a giggle.

I sort of grew out of that behaviour eventually and by my mid twenties I wasn’t really behaving like a twat when smashed anymore.

I wouldn’t wake up with that feeling of dread wondering what adventures I’d got upto the night before. I suppose my tolerance to booze increased and it would take a shitload of alcohol to get into madness mode again. I could usually hold it together. I could easily drink a bottle of whisky and function fairly normally.

Despite having drunk more than all my mates, I’d be the level headed voice of reason on a night out.

Until the next morning.

They’d all be functioning and making a fry up while I’d be lying in bed with a headache that would kill a member of the RAF.

And I suppose that’s why I can’t just have one or two beers. It’s because they have no effect on me and don’t get me drunk. I need a large quantity of alcohol to get that buzz. So this means when I do drink, it’s alcohol poisoning levels of booze.
 
In my early drinking days (teens / early 20s) this was definitely an issue for me. I would always out pin after a few beers.

I’ve never been into fighting or whatnot, I’d just do stupid shit (like crashing a car) or say stupid shit (usually to women I was trying to ****).

Basically I was just a loud ******** with massive amounts of self confidence and arrogance when I was pissed.

I recall being in a nightclub bogs one night and I threw a full pint glass into one of the bogs just for a laugh. It completely destroyed the cubicle, broken glass everywhere cracked cistern, a pint of beer spilled all over the floor.

No idea why I did it, just thought it’d be a giggle.

I sort of grew out of that behaviour eventually and by my mid twenties I wasn’t really behaving like a twat when smashed anymore.

I wouldn’t wake up with that feeling of dread wondering what adventures I’d got upto the night before. I suppose my tolerance to booze increased and it would take a shitload of alcohol to get into madness mode again. I could usually hold it together. I could easily drink a bottle of whisky and function fairly normally.

Despite having drunk more than all my mates, I’d be the level headed voice of reason on a night out.

Until the next morning.

They’d all be functioning and making a fry up while I’d be lying in bed with a headache that would kill a member of the RAF.

And I suppose that’s why I can’t just have one or two beers. It’s because they have no effect on me and don’t get me drunk. I need a large quantity of alcohol to get that buzz. So this means when I do drink, it’s alcohol poisoning levels of booze.
That's me in a nutshell as well.
Feck me, we're a right bunch of Muppets on the piss aren't we.
 
That's me in a nutshell as well.
Feck me, we're a right bunch of Muppets on the piss aren't we.
But men I can admire for recognising the problem, being honest with yourselves and fixing it.

This thread is the most inspiring thing I have read for ages.
 
That's the technique I used when kicking a 50+ a day cigarette habit.
Another thing was changing routines so that I no longer ended up at one of the "& this is where I have a smeurk" points.
As for booze: Been on the "half & half, alc/non alc (500ml bottle of each)" beer thing for 10 days now & it's suiting me just fine.
I did however succumb tonight & have a bottle of wine - first in a fortnight.
As the Ghost Ship non alcoholic beer's on offer in Tesco, I've ordered 160 bottles which should arrive on Wednesday, which is a saving of £48 & commits me to the current regime for the next 6 months (already have 40 or more bottles here).
If nothing else, the savings from cutting back & changing what I drink (£25 a week) will pretty much pay for an extra flight to the US this year.
50 actual fags? Not rollups?
 
Indeed. I probably binge perhaps once a year now, and a heavy night will be if I have a bottle of wine in one sitting - in which case that will be the only day of the week I drink.



People are wired differently, and I guess that is one of the differences between problem drinking and alcoholism.

Many like to assume anyone with a drink problem is an alcoholic, whereas that is not the case.

Are there accepted definitions or can we make aour own up?


I've recently accepted "problem drinking" status, self conferred, because I can refuse a drink, dont get black outs, haven't lost a relationship or a job through booze, and will drink soda in a pub if there's no good beer.


On the other hand, since I moved up a gear or two financially, I can and do, or did until a few days ago, drink like a fish every night.


Ooh, is that another difference? I don't drink outside ol' fashioned evening pub hours, except at home.
 

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