Going dry

Chef

LE
I finally wrote my family off in 1999.
Life has been so much better since.
I didn't know whether to give that an informative or a like.

I've known a few people who've had to do that to stay sober, and a few whose family hasn't come back into their lives.

I've been lucky and appreciate how lucky when I start going down the 'Poor me' route. A swift mental trip round the back of the hanger to give my head a wobble usually sets me right again.
 

Cold_Collation

LE
Book Reviewer
I'm another. The spiral of narcissism and self-loathing had to be broken. I had to re-establish contact with my family, actually my parents, when my brother went into rehab. It almost immediately re-started some old stuff in me and it took me to the edge of a breakdown (I may be understating this here; I did in fact come apart).

There's nothing in any rule book that says you have to keep anyone in your life just because they are family.
 
I haven't had a drink since last Christmas Day. I caught Covid at work over the festive period and I think it killed my drinking gene or something. I'm 60 next month and I'm undecided about having a drink or two. Plus the Mrs is taking me to Prague to celebrate. I've never got on a plane sober.
 
Not had a fag since end May / early June.
1st 3 days I must have resembled something like the detox scene in French Connection 2.

Not had a single drink since I think early June either but did have a glass of dry white at my sons birthday lunch 2 weeks back. It was a good quality but ...I did not enjoy it. Not had a drink since either but I do miss a wine or 3 in the kitchen while cooking. A lot.

What I do miss most are biscuits, cakes, puddings, and salty potato based snacks. I'm a bought trifle specialist.
What my heart fribs & BP readings don't miss are the 18lbs of lard of my gut ass. It's all medical unfortunately so all of the above are gone for good.
What my wallet missed last week was £40.00 quid in trouser alterations.
But then, I'm perhaps £250.00 per months plus better off not buying loverly...... shit.
 
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I haven't had a drink since last Christmas Day. I caught Covid at work over the festive period and I think it killed my drinking gene or something. I'm 60 next month and I'm undecided about having a drink or two. Plus the Mrs is taking me to Prague to celebrate. I've never got on a plane sober.
She'll not forsake you, you're her darlin......on this your outbound flight day......
 
I'm another. The spiral of narcissism and self-loathing had to be broken. I had to re-establish contact with my family, actually my parents, when my brother went into rehab. It almost immediately re-started some old stuff in me and it took me to the edge of a breakdown (I may be understating this here; I did in fact come apart).

There's nothing in any rule book that says you have to keep anyone in your life just because they are family.
Similar.
Families!
My one and only older brother could do no wrong, despite joyriding and smashing up parents and other people's cars, drinking, stealing etc etc (you all know the score). He lives alone in a little flat on the Isle of Wight. Drink problem, emphysema and other issues. I have nothing to do with him and moved away, studied and made a life for me. A few years ago Mum aged about 75 left her husband (my stepdad) moved from Wales to ten miles up the road from me "to be looked after" by me! She rings brother to make sure he's ok every other day because he isn't well. She rings me when she wants something and my operation for cancer earlier this year seems to have sailed her by because it can't be as bad as older brother's issues. If I ring her I get "Oh you remembered me then..."

So, to all those out there, life is crap, families are crap, friends are where you least expect to find them. Life is OK but it gets more crap through a bottle. There's a lot of wonder out there, even sat on a park bench with a paper cup of tea watching the bees flitting from flower to flower, will while away an hour or so and it's another step forward. Stay positive :)
 
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Grownup_Rafbrat

ADC
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Similar.
Families!
My one and only older brother could do no wrong, despite joyriding and smashing up parents and other people's cars, drinking, stealing etc etc (you all know the score). He lives alone in a little flat on the Isle of Wight. Drink problem, emphysema and other issues. I have nothing to do with him and moved away, studied and made a life for me. A few years ago Mum aged about 75 left her husband (my stepdad) moved from Wales to ten miles up the road from me "to be looked after" by me! She rings brother to make sure he's ok every other day because he isn't well. She rings me when she wants something and my operation for cancer earlier this year seems to have sailed her by because it can't be as bad as older brother's issues. If I ring her I get "Oh you remembered me then..."

So, to all those out there, life is crap, families are crap, friends are where you leat expect to find them. Life is OK but it gets more crap through a bottle. There's a lot of wonder out there, even sat on a park bench with a paper cup of tea watching the bees flitting from flower to flower, wille while away an hour or so and it's another step forward. Stay positive :)
I thank God every day that friends are the family we choose for ourselves.

Half my immediate family doesn't speak to the other half, after one sister had serious mental health issues thanks to a combination of a wazzock husband and post-natal depression.

Since the rift happened I have become much, much closer to aunts and cousins. They, and the friends I have had for 30 years or more, are the silver lining...
 
Similar.
Families!
:)
Quite.
Last time I saw my mother was her on a chilled chapel slab just before coffin stage...after 26 years. Did not even recognise her. In fact I was more interested asking the nurse about all the black and blue needle bruising. Very colourful.
Not seen toxic ******** brother in 31 years...he lives around 24 miles away. Guess his wife is dead now...she had MS back then. Not seen elder sister in around 21 years...do not even know where she lives exactly but I do know she moved from Poole to Cornwall somewhere. Best people I know are my own indoors, and 5 soul mates from the 70's who we all regard of each other as brothers and sisters. We chose each other. Such is the difference.
Just because fate shoves people under 1 genetic roof, does not g'tee social harmony.
 

Auld-Yin

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I stopped drinking over 12 years ago and don't want to go back to it. While drinking I had built a wall around me, pushing family and friends away as they got in the way of my drinking.

Once I had stopped drinking the family very quickly came back into my life and I got a lot of support from them - even the ex, although she still knows how to push my buttons!.!!

I realise how lucky I have been and had I continued drinking I doubt very much if I would have been here posting this today.
 

Chef

LE
Similar.
Families!
Life is OK but it gets more crap through a bottle. There's a lot of wonder out there, even sat on a park bench with a paper cup of tea watching the bees flitting from flower to flower, will while away an hour or so and it's another step forward. Stay positive :) Edited for brevity.
I like your attitude.

Relatives take a lot for granted.

My maternal grandmother was barely on the same continent as my mother for most of her life, moved to Oz in the early 60s. She worked for TAA and used to visit every 3-4 years which we grand kids loved.

After her husband pegged out she carried on until she was getting a bit frail, then pointed out to my mum that we could convert the spare room into a bedsit so she could come back to the UK and live out her final years with us. Didn't happen.

My ma is reticent about asking for help and when I said it was fine 'cos I'm her son she was of the view that I'm here because of her not vice versa so she has no claims on my/our time. Which is probably why I like her as well as love her.
 
Bloody hell. All these tales of woe have driven me to crack a cold beer, no, er, wait...
 

Chef

LE
Bloody hell. All these tales of woe have driven me to crack a cold beer, no, er, wait...
Default setting for me for a long time.

My trigger for drinking was waking up:)
 

Old Stab

LE
Book Reviewer
I'm not going to be going teetotal at all, had one of those shitty days in work, she's having a glass of wine or two and I've bought myself 3 beers. Not getting pissed as I'm driving at 8am...
 
I didn't know whether to give that an informative or a like.

I've known a few people who've had to do that to stay sober, and a few whose family hasn't come back into their lives.

I've been lucky and appreciate how lucky when I start going down the 'Poor me' route. A swift mental trip round the back of the hanger to give my head a wobble usually sets me right again.
I didn't write them off to stay sober, I am not.
Though I don't drink to get drunk but because I like the taste.
My immediate family are (were in some cases) self centred ,racist, zenophobic biggots.
I only stayed in touch for as long as I did because I had hopes for my youngest sister but in the end she couldn't escape the gravitational pull.
 

Chef

LE
I didn't write them off to stay sober, I am not.
Though I don't drink to get drunk but because I like the taste.
My immediate family are (were in some cases) self centred ,racist, zenophobic biggots.
I only stayed in touch for as long as I did because I had hopes for my youngest sister but in the end she couldn't escape the gravitational pull.
I apologise if I caused offence. I misunderstood the context.
 

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