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God in the dock

#1
Is Nebraska not part of the Bible Belt?

Politician in Nebraska lodges criminal complaint against God

Lincoln (AP) A member of Parliament in the State of Nebraska has lodged a criminal complaint against God. Ernie Chambers alleges that God is responsible for terroristic threats, spreads fear and has caused "death, destruction and terror amongst millions upon millions of Earth inhabitants". The complaint has been submitted in the district of Douglas. Chambers considers the courts there to be competent, as God is everywhere.

According to his own statement, with this thrust the Senator wants to bring attention to the abstruse sides of the American legal system, in which everyone can take legal action against anybody. He has picked on God because he is critical of religion anyway and always skives off from morning prayers during parliamentary sessions. God has caused tornadoes, floods and hurricanes, explained Chambers. He will now at the least stop these with a temporary injuction.

Politiker in Nebraska stellt Strafanzeige gegen Gott

Lincoln (AP) Ein Abgeordneter des Parlaments im US-Staat Nebraska hat eine Strafanzeige gegen Gott gestellt. Ernie Chambers macht geltend, dass Gott für terroristische Drohungen verantwortlich sei, Angst verbreite und «unter Abermillionen von Erdbewohnern Tod, Zerstörung und Terror» verursacht habe. Eingereicht wurde die Klage im Bezirk Douglas. Chambers hält das dortige Gericht für zuständig, da Gott überall sei.

Der Senator will mit seinem Vorstoß nach eigenen Angaben die abstrusen Seiten des amerikanischen Rechtswesens deutlich machen, in dem jeder jeden verklagen könne. Gott hat er sich ausgesucht, weil er ohnehin religionskritisch eingestellt ist und während der Parlamentssitzungen die morgendliche Gebetsrunde schwänzt. Gott habe Wirbelstürme, Überschwemmungen und Tornados verursacht, erklärte Chambers. Dies wolle er jetzt wenigstens mit einer Einstweiligen Verfügung stoppen.
So, let us assume he is granted the injunction. Who are the US Marshals going to visit to serve it and make sure it is complied with? Might I suggest Shrub, the earthly Bossman himself, apparently he claims to converse fairly regularly with God so maybe he could pass the message on!

And if God says "Get ferked", what then? Could Allah speak to him as an equal and ask him to at least stop pratting around with the weather? If there`s any spare rain and cool breezes to be had, maybe Allah could use the opportunity to ask for some of them to come to his bailiwick?

Could they call on Lucifer for some help? He is also supposed to be everywhere all of the time (though I have heard he is mostly to be found at MDN`s pad) so he should know where God is as well. Don`t God and Lucifer still have regular meetings to divvy up the dead souls between them - perhaps the subject could be brought up then?

So there we are folks, the burning question of our times. How do you serve a temporary injunction on God, and then enforce it?
 

Bouillabaisse

LE
Book Reviewer
#3
You serve it on god's representative on earth, who will also be liable for the penalties if god ignores it. Interesting test of faith - if they're really his prophet then they should be queuing up to accept this. Grudge fight between the pope and the Archbish of Cant, anyone?
 
#4
About bloody time, thank god for Americans.

Not sure they'll get very far with the terrorism - free will and all that - but let's see an end to all this 'weather' business.
 

Sixty

ADC
Moderator
Book Reviewer
#6
Bouillabaisse said:
Grudge fight between the pope and the Archbish of Cant, anyone?

No contest really with the Pope's Waffen SS background.
 
#7
If God didn't comply with the injunction the court might order the siezure of all his assets. He's got houses everywhere and imagine the good to be done with all those churches and baubles, also funds accrued.

It would aso do away with an awful lot of church-sponsored kiddie-fiddling - and a few wars.

.......... GO Ernie !
 

Biped

LE
Book Reviewer
#8
Indeed. It is Gods representatives on Earth who lay down the penalties for sinning, shuch as penances, and until recently allowed paid-for 'indulgences' where one could pay to commit sin and still be absolved.

Gods representatives in the church also collect his tythes on silver platters and hold His money for Him.

This being the case, it should be perfectly acceptable for any judgements against God to be presented to the church, and if He fails to adhere, for the church to pay out.

If my house is flooded, I'd like my insurance company to recoup their money from the local vicar.
 
#9
Ah, Biped, but you're a dirty heretic - you've broken your covenant with god - sorry, God - so surely God doesn't have a duty to refrain from pissing all over your goods and chattels? No failure to carry out a duty = no way for you to sue. Idolator.
 
#10
Just as well we all adhere to the Ten Commandments... wouldn't want God getting off on a mere technicality :wink:
 

old_fat_and_hairy

LE
Book Reviewer
Reviews Editor
#11
a_nony_mouse said:
Just as well we all adhere to the Ten Commandments... wouldn't want God getting off on a mere technicality :wink:
I certainly adhere to them, although I nearly slipped when i almost coveted a neighbours ass! :D
 

Biped

LE
Book Reviewer
#12
_Artemis_ said:
Ah, Biped, but you're a dirty heretic - you've broken your covenant with god - sorry, God - so surely God doesn't have a duty to refrain from pissing all over your goods and chattels? No failure to carry out a duty = no way for you to sue. Idolator.
A dirty heretic who has broken his covenant with God I may be, but that does not absolve Him of responsiblity for p!ssing over my goods and chatels.

The people in power who have broken the covenant with the Armed Forces are still in power, and still answerable for that crime.

Make the fecker pay, or make the kiddy fiddlers who represent him pay.

Here's a question: If the church is full of kiddly-fiddlers, and they do the work of God, why didn't they try and get off by saying it was God wot done the fiddling?
 
#13
Biped said:
Here's a question: If the church is full of kiddly-fiddlers, and they do the work of God, why didn't they try and get off by saying it was God wot done the fiddling?
True - he does have form, after all - documented evidence of him knocking up a teenage virgin.
 
#14
old_fat_and_hairy said:
a_nony_mouse said:
Just as well we all adhere to the Ten Commandments... wouldn't want God getting off on a mere technicality :wink:
I certainly adhere to them, although I nearly slipped when i almost coveted a neighbours ass! :D
Just as a precaution... you'd better start building that Ark :D
 
#15
Biped said:
_Artemis_ said:
Ah, Biped, but you're a dirty heretic - you've broken your covenant with god - sorry, God - so surely God doesn't have a duty to refrain from pissing all over your goods and chattels? No failure to carry out a duty = no way for you to sue. Idolator.
A dirty heretic who has broken his covenant with God I may be, but that does not absolve Him of responsiblity for p!ssing over my goods and chatels.

The people in power who have broken the covenant with the Armed Forces are still in power, and still answerable for that crime.

Make the fecker pay, or make the kiddy fiddlers who represent him pay.

Here's a question: If the church is full of kiddly-fiddlers, and they do the work of God, why didn't they try and get off by saying it was God wot done the fiddling?
Otherwise known as the 'Sutcliffe Gambit'.

Puts organised religion in a bit of a bind, this. If they uphold their claim to represent the Almighty, they are liable: the only way to escape liability is to undermine their own legitimacy. Excellent.

Glad I'm a Buddhist. :D
 

Biped

LE
Book Reviewer
#16
_Artemis_ said:
Biped said:
Here's a question: If the church is full of kiddly-fiddlers, and they do the work of God, why didn't they try and get off by saying it was God wot done the fiddling?
True - he does have form, after all - documented evidence of him knocking up a teenage virgin.
Actually, it was both kiddly-fiddling AND rape. Poor cow didn't even know she'd been done. How long has Rohypnol been around anyway?

Yeah, him and that other fella, wotsisname . . . Mohamed, that's it.
 

old_fat_and_hairy

LE
Book Reviewer
Reviews Editor
#17
a_nony_mouse said:
old_fat_and_hairy said:
a_nony_mouse said:
Just as well we all adhere to the Ten Commandments... wouldn't want God getting off on a mere technicality :wink:
I certainly adhere to them, although I nearly slipped when i almost coveted a neighbours ass! :D
Just as a precaution... you'd better start building that Ark :D
Got my cubits ready, and collecting two of everything. Well, still working of collecting the females actually!
 

old_fat_and_hairy

LE
Book Reviewer
Reviews Editor
#18
smartascarrots said:
Biped said:
_Artemis_ said:
Ah, Biped, but you're a dirty heretic - you've broken your covenant with god - sorry, God - so surely God doesn't have a duty to refrain from pissing all over your goods and chattels? No failure to carry out a duty = no way for you to sue. Idolator.
A dirty heretic who has broken his covenant with God I may be, but that does not absolve Him of responsiblity for p!ssing over my goods and chatels.

The people in power who have broken the covenant with the Armed Forces are still in power, and still answerable for that crime.

Make the fecker pay, or make the kiddy fiddlers who represent him pay.

Here's a question: If the church is full of kiddly-fiddlers, and they do the work of God, why didn't they try and get off by saying it was God wot done the fiddling?
Otherwise known as the 'Sutcliffe Gambit'.

Puts organised religion in a bit of a bind, this. If they uphold their claim to represent the Almighty, they are liable: the only way to escape liability is to undermine their own legitimacy. Excellent.

Glad I'm a Buddhist. :D
The Book is full of child sex, molesting, murder, incest and sodomy, which helped make it the world's best seller. The laws and morals relating to much of these, including the peadophila are recent ones, and it was acceptable in Biblical times and in that place. It still is common practice in such places that are filled with ignorant, unrestructured and primitive people. Like Norfolk and USof America.
 
#20
This has been tried before........
 

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