Yes it is sort of DIY.

We have acquired the much neglected plot of land that surrounds two sides of our garden. At one time it was a paddock but is now a weed filled mess.

Mrs B has a bright idea that involves buying some young goats and letting them chomp away.

I got as far as:

"Owning goats is a big commitment and can be very time-consuming and expensive. All keepers of goats must register with their local authority and possess a holding number and herd number. Ear tagging and movement licence regulations must also be followed..."

before uttering the words "sod that".

Too late: she signed up on a Goat Keeping course and has got all excited.

Reasons not to keep goats please !


XPara Mugg

War Hero
Reasons not to keep goats please !

Because they're not as good as pigs! :pig: :chef: :hungry:

Slightly more serious. They'll clear land that goats won't touch and they're easier to keep in with electric fencing.

"I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals." - Winston Churchill


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We've had a herd of Boer goats for the past 2-3 years. It didn't take off as the get rich quick scheme I was planning, however they do pay their way and are profitable. We only have about 30 so all meat is for personal consumption or the pub / hotel.

Pros: The meat is delicious, really really delicious. You have to get specially bred meat goats and you have to slaughter them young, as you would with lamb. You probably will have tried tough old muttony crap before, this is not a good representation of goat meat. Properly farmed meat goats are spectacularly tasty.

They are cool. Everyone likes them.

Cons: They escape all the time. You will need very high fences and any drystone walls will need topping with wire or the ******* will be gone in seconds. We've lost loads and they all now live in a barn because we can't contain them.

They're not very hardy creatures and seem to drop down dead for no reason at all. Disease spreads quickly with them. They can carry nasty bugs that cross to cattle, pigs and sheep. We have bulls that are worth 25k, the goats have to be kept well away from them. It's not worth the risk. If you keep other animals or live in close proximity to someone who does, have a serious think about whether this is a good idea.

They smell funny. Not as bad as the pigs, but they do hum.
`They are a commitment like any other domesticated animal but for all their so called "endearing" qualities they can be very destructive. I had mine for about a year before she decided that she didn't like the shed anymore so she knocked it down. They don't eat just "anything", sometimes they can be seriously spoilt brats. Good idea going on a goat management course but consider the pitfalls and good luck.
They make good drum skins.

I have just found this book which I no longer need. PM me your address and I will post it to you if you would like it.
Sounds like a potential for a "rolling goat fcuk".

What's that over there? Oh yes, the red robe and sulphur smell are difficult to hide, try as His Imperial Majesty might.


Happily the goat concept has been consigned to the daft idea bin :)

So any potential takers for that goaty book should apply to Lady P.
Yes it is sort of DIY.

We have acquired the much neglected plot of land that surrounds two sides of our garden. At one time it was a paddock but is now a weed filled mess.

Reasons not to keep goats please !

They make the worse stink possible. Bloody horrible meat, cheese and milk. Say no more?

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If the missus ever kicks the idea back into touch you should go for fainting goats.

Whenever you need a laugh you can go and scare them and watch them faint.

I thought it was a quid a go(at).

£2 must be for the good looking ones.
The biggest problem I envisage with having goats on your property is the hoards of Afghans trespassing on your gaff to shag them. On the plus side, you could charge them.

(bugger....beaten to it...sort of)
Much cheaper and simpler option.


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