Glutton for punishment

#1
Right: first things first - yes, I am a newbie.

I noticed a thread by another member where they did the usual;
"Hi, I'm new, please reply with smiley and wavey emoticons" and thoroughly enjoyed the ensuing roast.
Now being a self-obsessed bag of shite, I wanted my own thread.

Any :wave: 's will be spat on. (OK, OK the girl doth protest to much, I'm only looking for acceptance)

If you want to know anything about me, I will tell you this:
I am a very, very bored child (sadly only a child mentally now, but you may fantasise if you like) of a retired RSM.

Ready?
GO
 

Biped

LE
Book Reviewer
#2
Wiiiiide open to the elements!! INNCCOOMMIIINNNGGGG!!!
 
#8
EX_STAB said:
Jolly nice to have you here, do take a seat. Tea or coffee? or would you like something else?
A bit of something else sounds good - what exactly are you offering, and do you take cheques?
 

Biped

LE
Book Reviewer
#10
Praetorian said:
So, can you get your dirty cunt out for the lads?
Stop beating around the bush Prae, say what you mean!
 
#12
Prae, don't encourage it.

No gash shots will be even remotely as desirable as the one legs MUST provide us with post op (with swelling, stiching and infection if possible please)
 

old_fat_and_hairy

LE
Book Reviewer
Reviews Editor
#14
Good afternoon my dear. Take no notice of the crass comments by some of our members, the 'Care in the Community ' program has not worked too well.
Now, I am an old-fashioned and honourable gentleman. Come, sit beside me and tell me all about yourself. I am totally harmless and will take good care of you.
 

Mr_Fingerz

LE
Book Reviewer
#15
OF&H, you are clearly speaking untruths, and by the way, your trousers appear to be ablaze.....
 

old_fat_and_hairy

LE
Book Reviewer
Reviews Editor
#17
Well, I really won't charge you much. Sice you are young.
 
#18
old_fat_and_hairy said:
Well, I really won't charge you much. Sice you are young.
I apologise, in my haste to reply my post was unclear - you pay me dear, not vice versa (although I am sure you are already aware of the 'rules')
 

old_fat_and_hairy

LE
Book Reviewer
Reviews Editor
#19
Ah, ok. I can manage a small amount. If you can.
 

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